Jokes To Offend Everybody

[flarendep1]

Thanks Mark ...


I have more that are sorta nasty ... funny as hell but nasty \

I did not want to upset anyone around here ... Not too sure who can take a joke and who can't ...

If anyone gets upset about these jokes........................you know what to do..............

[BattersUp!]

How does Santa know he's at a Jewish house?

There's a parking meter on the roof

[Spark]

Q. Why are there so many Italian men named Tony?
A. When they shipped them out of Italy, they wrote "TO NY" on their foreheads

Q. How did they stop Obama's kids from jumping up and down on the beds?
A. Put Velcro on the ceiling

Q. How can you tell when you're at a gay barbeque?
A. The hot dogs taste like shit

Q. How can you tell if your lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving

Q. What's the difference between an Indian with a dot on his forehead or a turban?
A. One's a push button, the other's a pull start

[Spark]

How does every ethnic joke start?
By looking over your shoulder

.................................................. ......................

Three men, a Jew, a Mexican, and a black guy are stranded in the middle of nowhere and trying to hitchhike to shelter.

After hours of people ignoring them, they decide one of them should lay in the middle of the street since no one would want to run them over.

The Jewish guy volunteers to go first and lays in the middle of the street. A car comes cruising through and THUMP THUMP, runs him right over. "It didn't work, but it's gotta. You try it" he says to the Mexican.

The Mexican agrees and lays in the middle of the road. Another car comes driving up and THUMP THUMP... runs him over too. "I can't believe this. They HAVE to stop for a black man, you try it" he says.

The black guy lays down in the middle of the road, and sure enough another car comes... THUMP THUMP, ERRRRRRT, REEERRRRRR, THUMP THUMP, THUMP THUMP, THUMP THUMP

[Spark]

Why don't Mexicans bar-b-q?

Because the beans fall through the grill.

[Spark]

Why is aspirin white as opposed to black?

Because they WORK...

[Spark]

why do black guys always cry during sex?

the mace
__________________

[Spark]

what did abraham lincoln say after a week-long bender?

"i set WHO free?!?!"

[Spark]

why is interrogating a mexican like a pool ball?

the harder you hit it, the more english you get

[Spark]

a puerto rican and a white guy jump off the empire state building at the exact same time, who hits the ground first?

the black guy; he had to stop and spray paint some shit first on the way down

[Spark]

did you hear about the new car invented in israel?

not only can it stop on a dime, but it goes back and picks it up

[Spark]

what did the alabama sheriff have to say about the black guy who was shot 15 times and killed?

"worst case of suicide i've ever seen"

[Spark]

Q: How does a redneck mother know when her daughter is on the rag?






A: Her son's dick tastes funny.

[Spark]

Q What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?



A Nothing...you've already told her twice

[Spark]

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?






AIDS