thin = average
average = fat
a few pounds = cow
heavy = shamoo
athletic can be anything
all ladies with head shots only are fat as hell and their ass looks like the white pants lady in your stupid oddity picture thread.
every cunt on those sites says not into games, they are the biggest bunch of game players ever!
I hear you. Its like an ad for a used car. Title says: "Mint condition, runs great!!" , then you open the thread & it says it needs a motor !! WTF
And since we all agree my thread was stupid, I ask that it not be brought up again
So she comes in & after about 30 seconds I'm feeling her up. Not the biggest titties, but shit, I havent felt any but mine in over 8 months, so I'm not complaining at this point.
I have her on the couch, lights are off. I'm kissing her, sucking on her tits for a good 25-30 minutes.
So I say, OK, your turn. She says for what ? So I stand up and start taking my pants off. She says whoa whoa whoa. I said, well, it is only right that I spent time on you & you can return the favor. She says, well I hardly know you !! I said, you didnt have a problem of you not knowing me when you came the fuck over here. She says, I'm sorry you got the wrong impression. Wrong Impression ?? Who the hell comes over my house at 2 in the morning after meeting on a dating site to get the wrong impression?
I said to her, alright, lets play a game of hiding go seek. The winner gets to tell the loser what to do. She agrees to it. I tell her the rules are you can hide anywhere in the house, but if you go outside you automatically lose. She smiles & says ok.
I told her I'll hide first. I says, just so you dont cheat, you can count to 10 outside the front door & then come in. She's all giddy & laughing. So I say lets start & I walk her to the door & she goes out. I close the door & lock it, then I opened the living room window & yell to her. I say 'YOU LOST !! You went outside & thats against the rules. She says, oh shit thats right! I guess you get to tell me what to do. I said yes I do & here is what I want. GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY, I'M GOING TO SLEEP !! I turned the outside light off & my ass passed out.
Someone is going to shoot me one of these days, but its hard to pass up those that are too easy.
This one profile says : Can someone help me get out of here ??
So of course, being the helper that I am, I responded:
I read your profile and I can be of assistance as you so desire. It is going to cost you and I have itemized a ballpark figure of what it is going to cost:
2 carpenters to cut a 8 foot wide hole through side of house - $2700
3 men to build a ramp to get you outside - $1400
Local Fire & Police to block off road and to assist in case of emergency - $800 (does not include overtime )
850 lbs. of Crisco - $1350 - This is just a standby if we run into framing problems with the wall
Calling in and watching the Air National Guard with a Chinook Helicopter airlift you to open land - PRICELESS
The ungrateful response I got: you,what ever you claim to be are a fucking wackjob
A thank you would have been nice. Its like helping an old lady across the street and have her hit you with her pocketbook
This thread is probably the funniest one I've ever seen on here. Not gonna lie, I've tried out the dating sites and the sex sites (AFF)...all that matters on that site is 1) being black and 2) being hung.
This thread is probably the funniest one I've ever seen on here. Not gonna lie, I've tried out the dating sites and the sex sites (AFF)...all that matters on that site is 1) being black and 2) being hung.
I'm neither so I don't have much luck on there.
I have been divorced about a year and have dated a little but always wondered what the sites were like. I thought about getting on one but this thread makes me think otherwise!!!
I have been divorced about a year and have dated a little but always wondered what the sites were like. I thought about getting on one but this thread makes me think otherwise!!!
35 yrs old with joint custody so I have the kids 15 days of the 30 in a month. It's just hard to find a girl that don't have 3 kids that I have no intrest in raising her children or it's a younger girl with no children who don't understand why I put my kids before her. I just thought maybe a dating site would kinda help someone in my situation.
35 yrs old with joint custody so I have the kids 15 days of the 30 in a month. It's just hard to find a girl that don't have 3 kids that I have no intrest in raising her children or it's a younger girl with no children who don't understand why I put my kids before her. I just thought maybe a dating site would kinda help someone in my situation.
Kids first no matter what Vols, IMO. I she can't understand that, dump her.
Be patient brother.
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