I need help

[jcindaville]

Jerry, I just came out of rehab myself, checked myself in and once I completed it I had to do 5 weeks of intensive out patient rehab. Been clean for 51 days, I cant relate to methadone, but I was in with some very sick people coming off of pain pills, oxy, zanax, herioin, coke and alcohol.

You are going to need to help to overcome this, you will not win the battle by white knuckling it! First and foremost, you have to want to be sober, and by sober I mean no drugs, no booze, no nothing. If you cant get that point, dont waste your time or anyone elses. YOU HAVE TO WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are going to need the support of NA/AA, they can and will become your family, your own family is not going to understand what you are up against nor will they be able to help you beat it. Get a Sponsor, Get a Sponsor, Get a Sponsor, get in a meeting, find one, ask, get one. Your very life is on the line, if you dont think it is, well you are fucking wrong buddy. You keeping fucking around and you will be dead.

Jerry, there are 3 choices here, you going to get fucked up, covered up, or sobered up.

You choose which one you want, no one can choose it for you.

You have a different brain from the non addicted person, I know there has been much discussion on BC about whether or not its a disease or not. Well according to the AMA, the American Medical Association it is a disease.
The AMA states the following 4 things make for a deadly disease
1 primary(does it exist on its own)
2 Chronic (recurrent)
3 progressive(its getting worst)
4 fatal ( can it kill you )

Your brother has my email addy, if you need anything you know how to get a hold of me

[jcindaville]

your right man i am so ashamed of myself its unreal.i did not mean for it to happen i just got in to deep.trust me my mind has been made up since dec 10th when i went on methadone just did not get enough info on it beofore i tried it

Feelings of shame and of being worthless are very normal for an addict. They often lead to suicidal thoughts, Jerry you wont be the first person to hate himself and you wont be the last.

Get into rehab, do EXACTLY what you are told to do, 12 step programs have worked since 1935 and they work for a reason. Do EXACTLY as you are told, dont think for one minute you are different and you can do it your way. Has your way worked up to this point????? DUH, FUCK NO!

Want it, do it, AA/NA, Sponsor, Sponsor, Sponsor.

When you get around other recovering addicts you will soon realize that you havent done anything that thousands upon thousands hasnt done. You think you have done some shit, motherfucker I have heard some insane crazy shit that people have done high on drugs and booze. So chin up, rehab up, and then sober the fuck up and move on with a new life.

I never thought Jerry i could have fun sober, well i can tell you what, i like me right now, i like me alot and so do the women that i have in my life right now!!! Sober i can work 4-5 bitches at the same time, drunk ass Jc couldnt handle one before.

I will be praying for you, but the Lord is only going to help if you do your part Jerry. Do your damn part my man!!!!!

[vols fan]

Damn good post JC.I hope he has success.

[vols fan]

9 years ago to day I got my last DUI.I had to do the counseling with alot of the addicts JC is talking about.While I continue to drink I can have 2 beers and stop.Some of those peope I was in meetings with couldn't drink 2 cause it ends up being 18. Everyone is different but when you get in the meetings you kinda all feel the same.I hope he goes to them and sticks with them cause they really do help.

[vols fan]

Jerry, I just came out of rehab myself, checked myself in and once I completed it I had to do 5 weeks of intensive out patient rehab. Been clean for 51 days

Thats awsome JC.I'm proud of you man.

[Chado1]

Well as most of you guys know I have been sober from alcohol, weed, cocaine, crack, ecstasy, etc etc for almost 3 years now. Infact 3 years on the 28th of this month! I am currently taking a 2 year course to become a substance/abuse addiction counsellor right now. I am so passionate about helping another alcoholic/addict it's going to be my career. I still go to meetings and also every Wednesday go to my one hour after care meeting run through the rehab I went to. I like this one because its more about teaching and interactive discussion. I have even been given the opportunity to teach a bunch of these classes to numerous other addicts/alocholics as well. I have also went back to my rehab and motivationally spoke about my story to provide courage, strength, and hope to others. I am still learning about Methadone at this point in relation to what your going through in my studies and experiences. I know it's a great medicine for a healthier substitute to avoid withdrawl from certain substances. However as you know its not supposed to be used for an extended period of time just to ween yourself from the main drug of choice before you can be off completely. If and when you get into a rehab they can put you through a safe medical detox because I know with opiates, alochol, and many types of pill addictions can be the worst physical types of withdrawls so they will provide you with certain safer medications to get you off as opposed to whatever minimal resources you have outside of rehab. I was a hardcore alcoholic crack addict when I checked myself into rehab. I posted a thread on this forum in April (I believe) of 2007 and the support received was overwhelming similar to here for Jerry. Im not sure how rehabs work in the US as far as costs and stuff but if you can get into one I feel its one of the best options out there. When you get out Jerry you need to go to meetings everyday. Once you get in those rooms regularly you will make some true friends and realize the ones outside of the meetings who you used to get drunk/high with arent even close to true friends. Start interacting with the guys in the meetings that you can relate with. Get a sponsor ASAP. This along with finding a spirtitual connection with a high power and or God are the two most importants thigs in staying sober. Prayer and talking about your issues! Resentments are the #1 reason why people continue to drink or get high. You need to deal with these issues (which they will address in rehab) and then when life continues to happen, adversities around you day by day dealing with these problems as they arise and resolving them will allow you to move forward. Another thing that was huge for me is called RSC (Rational Self Counselling). This is using any situation in life where a typical addict/alocholic way of thinking will cause one to thing negatively upon it. The whole point of RSC is taking a situation that you perceive to be negative and looking at the optimistic positive side of it instead because almost any sitaution can be looked at this way even though it doesnt seem that way at the time. You're family and friends will not understand your disease of addiction and dont ever expect them to (unless they go to Alanon meeting which provides them with understandings of addiction as well as addressing their dependacy issues about you). You are addicted to substance and family is addicted to the person. This is why its imperative to get a Sponsor and friends within AA or NA because nobody will be able to relate to the mental struggles than someone who has been down the road themselves and has a similar type mindframe. You will eventually come to realize that all the stuff you have done in your life are just building blocks that are making you stronger as a person down the road and untilmately will allow you to eventually be the true person you are meant to be if you work for it and allow it. You need to want it and go for it. Also get involved in positive activities once you get out. For me playing sports was huge started getting back into hobbies I used to enjoy doing when I was a kid like playing golf most importantly working out at the gym and playing hockey worked best for me. Need to fill your boredom that will be there with positive stuff. One day at a time it will get better as long as you continue to talk to others and pray!!! I could talk all day about everything I have learned and gained over these past 3 years and continue to do so but I'll leave it at that for now. I know you stated you wanted to talk to me in the past and got a few emails from ya years back about this but never heard more from ya. I can give you my phone # if you ever wanna talk because that is imperative to staying sober coming out of isolation and dealing with emotions and feeling that used to be bottled up forming resentments numbed by the drugs and alochol. Anyway I can get your email from the mods and all the best Jerry!!!

Chad

[Chado1]

Jerry, I just came out of rehab myself, checked myself in and once I completed it I had to do 5 weeks of intensive out patient rehab. Been clean for 51 days, I cant relate to methadone, but I was in with some very sick people coming off of pain pills, oxy, zanax, herioin, coke and alcohol.

You are going to need to help to overcome this, you will not win the battle by white knuckling it! First and foremost, you have to want to be sober, and by sober I mean no drugs, no booze, no nothing. If you cant get that point, dont waste your time or anyone elses. YOU HAVE TO WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are going to need the support of NA/AA, they can and will become your family, your own family is not going to understand what you are up against nor will they be able to help you beat it. Get a Sponsor, Get a Sponsor, Get a Sponsor, get in a meeting, find one, ask, get one. Your very life is on the line, if you dont think it is, well you are fucking wrong buddy. You keeping fucking around and you will be dead.

Jerry, there are 3 choices here, you going to get fucked up, covered up, or sobered up.

You choose which one you want, no one can choose it for you.

You have a different brain from the non addicted person, I know there has been much discussion on BC about whether or not its a disease or not. Well according to the AMA, the American Medical Association it is a disease.
The AMA states the following 4 things make for a deadly disease
1 primary(does it exist on its own)
2 Chronic (recurrent)
3 progressive(its getting worst)
4 fatal ( can it kill you )

Your brother has my email addy, if you need anything you know how to get a hold of me

You told me in the past you were struggling with addiction to substance. Didnt realize you went to rehab and congrats on 51 days sober that is an amazing accomplishment you should be very proud! You brought up some very true and valid points learned and experienced. Seems as though you are on the right track. Glad to hear you are doing well now and you still got my email give me a shout anytime. Continued success John one day at a time!

[tech fan]

just got home from the doctor.Feel great well just feel normal,but no withdrawl symptoms i got my mind right now
im going to be a different person starting now.



jc chado philco thanks means alot if yall ever need me will be here for ya

[jcindaville]

Chads points are all very true Jerry, all of them. Dont isolate, get into rehab, get into NA/AA.

I promise you wont win the battle if you dont follow those simple things, its hard enough when you do follow those rules, its IMPOSSIBLE if you dont!

Again, you HAVE TO WANT IT BADLY, if not, it wont happen for you bro.

[jcindaville]

9 years ago to day I got my last DUI.I had to do the counseling with alot of the addicts JC is talking about.While I continue to drink I can have 2 beers and stop.Some of those peope I was in meetings with couldn't drink 2 cause it ends up being 18. Everyone is different but when you get in the meetings you kinda all feel the same.I hope he goes to them and sticks with them cause they really do help.

There is the perfect definition between an addict and and someone who isnt.

Here is how i try and describe it to people who dont get it.

Two drinks to me is like putting a hot piece of ass in front of me, its sitting there, spread eagle, good and wet. All i get is two pokes, thats it, just two, and that doesnt mean 5 minutes of beating off and two strokes to finish

If you are missing that point, let me clear it up for you. Would any of you stick your dong in a sweet piece of ass just for 2 pokes??? No pulling it and whacking when your done, just two pokes and thats it, well thats the same to me as having two drinks.

If all i can have is 2, I Dont want any, I am either going all out till I am drunk, or i am going all out with 6 pokes and copping that sweet nutOk, maybe 3 pokes but you get my drift.

An addict to any substance is going for broke, once the chemical hits the brain the brain sends impulses for more, more, more!!!!!! That phenomonon doesnt occur in the brain of a normal person.

Accept it, debate it, believe it, dont believe it, I quite frankly care whether anyone agrees or doesnt, all that matters is that do I believe.

Good luck Jerry

Vols, not asking you to like whats going on, just understand what he is up against. Ultimately it still is his decision, and he can beat it, but he has to WANT TO DO IT REAL BAD.

Support him with caution, you have to treat all chemically dependent people that way. If not they will rob your ass blind and ware your ass out.

[tech fan]

There is the perfect definition between an addict and and someone who isnt.

Here is how i try and describe it to people who dont get it.

Two drinks to me is like putting a hot piece of ass in front of me, its sitting there, spread eagle, good and wet. All i get is two pokes, thats it, just two, and that doesnt mean 5 minutes of beating off and two strokes to finish

If you are missing that point, let me clear it up for you. Would any of you stick your dong in a sweet piece of ass just for 2 pokes??? No pulling it and whacking when your done, just two pokes and thats it, well thats the same to me as having two drinks.

If all i can have is 2, I Dont want any, I am either going all out till I am drunk, or i am going all out with 6 pokes and copping that sweet nutOk, maybe 3 pokes but you get my drift.

An addict to any substance is going for broke, once the chemical hits the brain the brain sends impulses for more, more, more!!!!!! That phenomonon doesnt occur in the brain of a normal person.

Accept it, debate it, believe it, dont believe it, I quite frankly care whether anyone agrees or doesnt, all that matters is that do I believe.

Good luck Jerry

Vols, not asking you to like whats going on, just understand what he is up against. Ultimately it still is his decision, and he can beat it, but he has to WANT TO DO IT REAL BAD.

Support him with caution, you have to treat all chemically dependent people that way. If not they will rob your ass blind and ware your ass out.

i agree buddy 100% although it not right in alot of folks minds you cant help what your brain signals send to your body.I have my mind made up and will beat this.THis or any addiction is not going to kill me.Every one and i mean every one is addicted to something.Some as simple as coffee or coca cola to others as sex or even gambling the playing a 2nd half of a 10:00 game just to get action what in the hell is that,Its an addiction and a disease.Difference is society does not frown upon the person addicted to legal things or things that are common amongst people.Society does look down on the person who uses drugs or alchohol as thier addiction.an addiction is an addiction problem is i chose someting harmful to my body,my kids,my finances,and i will beat it and come back stronger and better than ever.a ,

[tech fan]

Well as most of you guys know I have been sober from alcohol, weed, cocaine, crack, ecstasy, etc etc for almost 3 years now. Infact 3 years on the 28th of this month! I am currently taking a 2 year course to become a substance/abuse addiction counsellor right now. I am so passionate about helping another alcoholic/addict it's going to be my career. I still go to meetings and also every Wednesday go to my one hour after care meeting run through the rehab I went to. I like this one because its more about teaching and interactive discussion. I have even been given the opportunity to teach a bunch of these classes to numerous other addicts/alocholics as well. I have also went back to my rehab and motivationally spoke about my story to provide courage, strength, and hope to others. I am still learning about Methadone at this point in relation to what your going through in my studies and experiences. I know it's a great medicine for a healthier substitute to avoid withdrawl from certain substances. However as you know its not supposed to be used for an extended period of time just to ween yourself from the main drug of choice before you can be off completely. If and when you get into a rehab they can put you through a safe medical detox because I know with opiates, alochol, and many types of pill addictions can be the worst physical types of withdrawls so they will provide you with certain safer medications to get you off as opposed to whatever minimal resources you have outside of rehab. I was a hardcore alcoholic crack addict when I checked myself into rehab. I posted a thread on this forum in April (I believe) of 2007 and the support received was overwhelming similar to here for Jerry. Im not sure how rehabs work in the US as far as costs and stuff but if you can get into one I feel its one of the best options out there. When you get out Jerry you need to go to meetings everyday. Once you get in those rooms regularly you will make some true friends and realize the ones outside of the meetings who you used to get drunk/high with arent even close to true friends. Start interacting with the guys in the meetings that you can relate with. Get a sponsor ASAP. This along with finding a spirtitual connection with a high power and or God are the two most importants thigs in staying sober. Prayer and talking about your issues! Resentments are the #1 reason why people continue to drink or get high. You need to deal with these issues (which they will address in rehab) and then when life continues to happen, adversities around you day by day dealing with these problems as they arise and resolving them will allow you to move forward. Another thing that was huge for me is called RSC (Rational Self Counselling). This is using any situation in life where a typical addict/alocholic way of thinking will cause one to thing negatively upon it. The whole point of RSC is taking a situation that you perceive to be negative and looking at the optimistic positive side of it instead because almost any sitaution can be looked at this way even though it doesnt seem that way at the time. You're family and friends will not understand your disease of addiction and dont ever expect them to (unless they go to Alanon meeting which provides them with understandings of addiction as well as addressing their dependacy issues about you). You are addicted to substance and family is addicted to the person. This is why its imperative to get a Sponsor and friends within AA or NA because nobody will be able to relate to the mental struggles than someone who has been down the road themselves and has a similar type mindframe. You will eventually come to realize that all the stuff you have done in your life are just building blocks that are making you stronger as a person down the road and untilmately will allow you to eventually be the true person you are meant to be if you work for it and allow it. You need to want it and go for it. Also get involved in positive activities once you get out. For me playing sports was huge started getting back into hobbies I used to enjoy doing when I was a kid like playing golf most importantly working out at the gym and playing hockey worked best for me. Need to fill your boredom that will be there with positive stuff. One day at a time it will get better as long as you continue to talk to others and pray!!! I could talk all day about everything I have learned and gained over these past 3 years and continue to do so but I'll leave it at that for now. I know you stated you wanted to talk to me in the past and got a few emails from ya years back about this but never heard more from ya. I can give you my phone # if you ever wanna talk because that is imperative to staying sober coming out of isolation and dealing with emotions and feeling that used to be bottled up forming resentments numbed by the drugs and alochol. Anyway I can get your email from the mods and all the best Jerry!!!

Chad

thanks buddy yeah shoot me an e-mail

[tech fan]

Day 4 is going great almost b ack to normal.no alcohol or illegal drugs for 4 days now well really longer if you count the days before i went to the doctor but i dont feel like i can say i am sober for 4 days because of the medicine i take now is suboxone and its part opiate but has a ceilling effect so you cant get high off it so not sure if this counts as being drug free or not.also at aa or any 12 step program the first step is i am powerless over my drug.well if i am taking medicine to help ween myself off i cant make step 1.

Enough of that anyway just wanted to tell everyone thanks and i appreciate everyones kind words helped me get through the toughest 5 days of my life

[vols fan]

toughest 5 days of my life

It's going to get alot harder in the future.Don't let your guard down and stay strong.

[baseballdave]

There is the perfect definition between an addict and and someone who isnt.

Here is how i try and describe it to people who dont get it.

Two drinks to me is like putting a hot piece of ass in front of me, its sitting there, spread eagle, good and wet. All i get is two pokes, thats it, just two, and that doesnt mean 5 minutes of beating off and two strokes to finish

If you are missing that point, let me clear it up for you. Would any of you stick your dong in a sweet piece of ass just for 2 pokes??? No pulling it and whacking when your done, just two pokes and thats it, well thats the same to me as having two drinks.

If all i can have is 2, I Dont want any, I am either going all out till I am drunk, or i am going all out with 6 pokes and copping that sweet nutOk, maybe 3 pokes but you get my drift.

An addict to any substance is going for broke, once the chemical hits the brain the brain sends impulses for more, more, more!!!!!! That phenomonon doesnt occur in the brain of a normal person.

Accept it, debate it, believe it, dont believe it, I quite frankly care whether anyone agrees or doesnt, all that matters is that do I believe.

Good luck Jerry

Vols, not asking you to like whats going on, just understand what he is up against. Ultimately it still is his decision, and he can beat it, but he has to WANT TO DO IT REAL BAD.

Support him with caution, you have to treat all chemically dependent people that way. If not they will rob your ass blind and ware your ass out.

I've been reading this and I'm glad to see that people who "have been there, done that" are responding.

Not many know, JC might be the only one here, but I also am an alcoholic. I have been sober since the end of January of 2006. I am also like JC, I can't just have "2 beers" and walk away. I finally realized that when I was sitting in jail after getting a DUI. I have a daughter that had to go to AA meetings because her Dad was a drunk. When I found this out, I was heart broken. She use to wait up at night making sure I got home ok.
I realized that I had to quit for ME first and the rest will fall in line. I now have a beautiful grandson that I would not have been able to babysit if I hadn't changed my life. In 2006, I didn't know that I was going to be a granddad, but God did. He sent me a message, but I had to answer it, and thanks to the support of friends and family, I have not drank since 2006.

Tech, listen to what Chado and JC have to tell you. And Jerry, let me tell you, I know it was hard for JC to post what he did about himself. I am SO glad he did, because one of the biggest things is admitting your problem. Take it ONE HOUR at a time and don't be afraid to lean on your sponsors and your group. There is nothing wrong with admitting your problem. It takes a bigger man to say "NO" than it does to say Yes.

Like JC said, you have 3 choices - fucked up, covered up or sobered up. It is YOUR choice.

And JC, I am truly proud that you posted what you did to help someone else.

Jerry, DON'T be afraid to talk to someone like JC, CHado, Wayne Chung, myself, etc. They can help you IF YOU WANT TO HELP YOURSELF.

My prayers will be with you buddy.
Dave