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So yesterday I went shopping. And I'm in one of the stores … get what I gotta get … and I go to check out. Naturally there's a line , which I despise , but I'm hangin out staring at this chick's ass in front of me … you know … to while away the HOURS . It wasn't a great ass … a little too skinny for my taste … but it was a time passer nonetheless. Through her flimsy skirt I could see the feint outline of a thong in her crack and I was debating whether or not to drop my knees and stick my tongue up her ass but I decided against it because there was this Nun standing right behind me and there are some things I just won't do. I mean That's Wrong , you know ?
Anyway , It's finally my turn … the lady rings me up … I hand her a C Note.
She pulls out this felt pen , holds the bill up to the light , marks the bill , holds it up again , gazes at it , squints , studies it , spits on it … and now there are 10 people on line behind me shaking their heads and breathing heavy, including Sister Mary Joseph.
So she hands me the change … ones … fives … a few tens … and a sawbuck.
I then took out MY PEN which I purchased earlier at Staples and started to mark each and every one of the bills I received as change … held everyone up to the light … studied them … gazed at them …squinted at them … scratched my head ... marked them again … spit on them … and took my sweet ass time in doing so.
The people on line behind me all started to crack up laughing at the same time followed by a round of applause . It was the fuckin' best !!!
So The Putz Manager waddles over and asks what's goin' on .
So I says to him: "I'll be with you in a minute , Pal … I'm just checkin to see if your money is good … you know .. just like you check all of our money … you got a freakin' problem with that ? "
Another outburst of laughter and applause .
So then I raised my voice a little and added: " So Pal … The FBI can't make any headway figuring out who's behind an International Ring of Counterfeiters who've been plaguing this country for decades … but your "EDNA" over here in Aisle 8 of Bed , Bath and Beyond … Oh Yeah … SHE'S GONNA CRACK THE FUCKIN CASE "
" Now please step aside so I can leave"
More applause .....
Guys it felt sooooo good ... lol
-cb
Anyway , It's finally my turn … the lady rings me up … I hand her a C Note.
She pulls out this felt pen , holds the bill up to the light , marks the bill , holds it up again , gazes at it , squints , studies it , spits on it … and now there are 10 people on line behind me shaking their heads and breathing heavy, including Sister Mary Joseph.
So she hands me the change … ones … fives … a few tens … and a sawbuck.
I then took out MY PEN which I purchased earlier at Staples and started to mark each and every one of the bills I received as change … held everyone up to the light … studied them … gazed at them …squinted at them … scratched my head ... marked them again … spit on them … and took my sweet ass time in doing so.
The people on line behind me all started to crack up laughing at the same time followed by a round of applause . It was the fuckin' best !!!
So The Putz Manager waddles over and asks what's goin' on .
So I says to him: "I'll be with you in a minute , Pal … I'm just checkin to see if your money is good … you know .. just like you check all of our money … you got a freakin' problem with that ? "
Another outburst of laughter and applause .
So then I raised my voice a little and added: " So Pal … The FBI can't make any headway figuring out who's behind an International Ring of Counterfeiters who've been plaguing this country for decades … but your "EDNA" over here in Aisle 8 of Bed , Bath and Beyond … Oh Yeah … SHE'S GONNA CRACK THE FUCKIN CASE "
" Now please step aside so I can leave"
More applause .....
Guys it felt sooooo good ... lol
-cb
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