Originally posted by rwall
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Good Morning Spark
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"SHOW YOUR SKILLS DAY" AT THE SHADY OAKS NURSING HOME
As Spark went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Spark withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
Spark then said, "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
Spark began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch ..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from Spark's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"Shit," yelled out Spark ...
It then took three days for the staff to clean up the senior center."Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant'
is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'"
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Originally posted by Spark
Rwall. whatever happened to him?? He was great"Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant'
is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'"
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A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his penis. His doctor tells him 2 ease the pain by dipping it in a saucer of milk. Later his wife comes home and finds him with his dick in a saucer of milk. Good heavens, she remarks, I always wondered how u re-loaded those things!Remember the three R's:
Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
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Three old men were discussing the travails of getting older. The Kaptain said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second old man Savage chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."
The third old man Spark responded, " Well, guys, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood," as he rapped his knuckles on the table, and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"Remember the three R's:
Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
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