9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: hungry and horney. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a slinky--not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid some day, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3, Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents???
2. In the 60's people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
1. AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT Today: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge
this buffet has everything. it has over 60 diff items. 8 stations. its no joke. you can have hot turkey with mashed potatos,corn, beef on a stick,pulled pork and on and on if you want. All for 6.99.
KB, there is a buffet like Dime is describing down in Moore, just off I-35 and SE 19th, I think. A Chinese colleague of mine took me down there one day. They have too many items to sample even 1/2 of them...they even have a Sushi station.
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk & walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop!
I'm starting to suspect the worst, my wife came home with no panties!
"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said: From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.
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