Urgent Please Read/respond!!!! Part 2

[kbsooner21]

[ToDaClub]

Two Kentuckians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens."

"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"

"I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm......, five?"

[jcindaville]

How do you if Todahymee is living next-door?










There's wet toilet paper on the clothesline

[jcindaville]

Have you heard about the Clubs sports car?









It stops on a dime, then picks it up

[jcindaville]

How did Club complete his first marathon??












I Rolled a penny down a hill.

[ToDaClub]

Q: Why do people from Louisville keep their driver's license on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

[ToDaClub]

STATE OF KENTUCKY RESIDENCY APPLICATION



Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob



(last)
(_) Billy-Joe



(_) Billy-Ray



(_) Billy-Sue



(_) Billy-Mae



(_) Billy-Jack



(Check appropriate box)







Age: ____



Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A



Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right











Occupation:



(_) Farmer



(_) Mechanic



(_) Hair Dresser



(_) Un-employed











Spouse's Name: __________________________







Relationship with spouse:



(_) Sister



(_) Brother



(_) Aunt



(_) Uncle



(_) Cousin



(_) Mother



(_) Father



(_) Son



(_) Daughter



(_) Pet











Number of children living in household: ___







Number that are yours: ___







Mother's Name: _______________________







Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)











Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)







Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)







__ Total number of vehicles you own



__ Number of vehicles that still crank



__ Number of vehicles in front yard



__ Number of vehicles in back yard



__ Number of vehicles on cement blocks











Firearms you own and where you keep them:



____ truck



____ bedroom



____ bathroom



____ kitchen



____ shed











Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_











Do you have a gun rack?



(_) Yes (_) No; please explain:











Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:



(_) The National Enquirer



(_) The Globe



(_) TV Guide



(_) Soap Opera ******



(_) Rifle and Shotgun











___ Number of times you've seen a UFO







___ Number of times you've seen Elvis







___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO











How often do you bathe:



(_)Weekly



(_)Monthly



(_)Not Applicable











Color of teeth:



(_)Yellow



(_)Brownish-Yellow



(_)Brown



(_)Black



(_)N/A











Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:



(_)Red-Man











How far is your home from a paved road?



(_)1 mile



(_)2 miles



(_)don't know

[kbsooner21]

How do you if Todahymee is living next-door?










There's wet toilet paper on the clothesline

[ToDaClub]

I don't always talk to Louisville basketball players,
but when I do, I ask for fries with my burger

[ToDaClub]

How do you get a Louisville basketball player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

[ToDaClub]

How do you get a Louisville cheerleader out of your house?

Grease her hips and push really hard

[10DimeBry]

I bet the people of kentucky have heard the term "shoot out" in NHL games.


Oh wait maybe not

[ToDaClub]

I bet the people of kentucky have heard the term "shoot out" in NHL games.


Oh wait maybe not

[ToDaClub]

How do you starve a Cardinal fan?
Hide their food stamps in their work boots

[ToDaClub]

A smart Cardinal fan is like UFO's. I've heard they exist, but I've never actually seen one before