Urgent Please Read/respond!!!! Part 2

[ToDaClub]

How do you get a Louisville cheerleader out of your house?

Grease her hips and push really hard

[ToDaClub]

How do you get a Louisville basketball player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

[ToDaClub]

I don't always talk to Louisville basketball players,
but when I do, I ask for fries with my burger

[kbsooner21]

How do you if Todahymee is living next-door?










There's wet toilet paper on the clothesline

[ToDaClub]

STATE OF KENTUCKY RESIDENCY APPLICATION



Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob



(last)
(_) Billy-Joe



(_) Billy-Ray



(_) Billy-Sue



(_) Billy-Mae



(_) Billy-Jack



(Check appropriate box)







Age: ____



Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A



Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right











Occupation:



(_) Farmer



(_) Mechanic



(_) Hair Dresser



(_) Un-employed











Spouse's Name: __________________________







Relationship with spouse:



(_) Sister



(_) Brother



(_) Aunt



(_) Uncle



(_) Cousin



(_) Mother



(_) Father



(_) Son



(_) Daughter



(_) Pet











Number of children living in household: ___







Number that are yours: ___







Mother's Name: _______________________







Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)











Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)







Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)







__ Total number of vehicles you own



__ Number of vehicles that still crank



__ Number of vehicles in front yard



__ Number of vehicles in back yard



__ Number of vehicles on cement blocks











Firearms you own and where you keep them:



____ truck



____ bedroom



____ bathroom



____ kitchen



____ shed











Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_











Do you have a gun rack?



(_) Yes (_) No; please explain:











Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:



(_) The National Enquirer



(_) The Globe



(_) TV Guide



(_) Soap Opera ******



(_) Rifle and Shotgun











___ Number of times you've seen a UFO







___ Number of times you've seen Elvis







___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO











How often do you bathe:



(_)Weekly



(_)Monthly



(_)Not Applicable











Color of teeth:



(_)Yellow



(_)Brownish-Yellow



(_)Brown



(_)Black



(_)N/A











Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:



(_)Red-Man











How far is your home from a paved road?



(_)1 mile



(_)2 miles



(_)don't know

[ToDaClub]

Q: Why do people from Louisville keep their driver's license on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

[jcindaville]

How did Club complete his first marathon??












I Rolled a penny down a hill.

[jcindaville]

Have you heard about the Clubs sports car?









It stops on a dime, then picks it up

[jcindaville]

How do you if Todahymee is living next-door?










There's wet toilet paper on the clothesline

[ToDaClub]

Two Kentuckians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens."

"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"

"I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm......, five?"

[kbsooner21]

[jcindaville]

Bahahahahahabahahahhah

[ToDaClub]

Why do folks from Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

17 and under not admitted.

[ToDaClub]

Q) What does a girl in Kentucky say after having sex?


A) “Get up dad, you’re smashing my cigarettes!”

[ToDaClub]

On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there's a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while the other half belongs to a Tennessee man.

One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor.

“There's one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the forest.”

“How do you know it's one of our wolves?” the Kentucky farmer asked.

Well, the Tennessee man replied, he's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped.