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**TwoTonTony** · 12-02-2005, 07:04 PM

i disagree that there are no good american women...usually the problem is that men have a tough time communicating with women....they are too busy using lines and trying to brag about what they have....women are not wired that way at all.....

i think if you look at the situation logically that is a silly statement....If you were to play the law of large numbers that means there are tons of quality women....and there literally are.....

I am 41 and single and i date a lot.......I will never marry, but i love a variety of women....I date all kinds and enjoy them immensely....

If men spent more time finding out how women are wired and how to appeal to them, the results would be different.....

Meeting someone is a process and one that requires certain steps that most men do not take......There is much psychology invloved....Many men say stupid shit like, "Most women do not want nice guys".....this makes you look like a victim in womens eyes and they hate that......Women are constantly evaluating you and are looking for value.....so you must captivate them and "add value to yourself"...Remember most women have a higher social status than us, simply because at any time more men would bang them than women would want to bang us......unless of course you are brad pitt, then the tables are turned....

Another stupid mistake guys make is kiss ass too much....women hate that and it reeks of desperation.....I could go on and on....but to me women are women.....They are as approachable in Florida as they are in Seattle......You just need the combination to the lock....

**savage1** · 12-02-2005, 07:33 PM

Tony-Thanks for you well thought out response, and I do agree with some of what you said.
Just to clarify, I never said there were not any good American women.
I personally would not consider it a mistake to be "too nice" to a lady, and don't think it reeks of desperation.
My fiancee from Colombia appreciates that I am very good to her and will do virtually anything to make her happy? Whats wrong with that?
Perhaps I answered my own question, as I have found over the years that some American ladies don't like my nice guy approach;that is probably why I went to a country(Colombia) where the thinking of the ladies is more in tune with my own, and they appreciate a more honest, "no games" approach.
Anyways, I am glad your are having good luck, and I guess if it works for you, then that is all that matters.

**TwoTonTony** · 12-02-2005, 07:41 PM

Originally posted by savage1

Tony-Thanks for you well thought out response, and I do agree with some of what you said.
Just to clarify, I never said there were not any good American women.
I personally would not consider it a mistake to be "too nice" to a lady, and don't think it reeks of desperation.
My fiancee from Colombia appreciates that I am very good to her and will do virtually anything to make her happy? Whats wrong with that?
Perhaps I answered my own question, as I have found over the years that some American ladies don't like my nice guy approach;that is probably why I went to a country(Colombia) where the thinking of the ladies is more in tune with my own, and they appreciate a more honest, "no games" approach.
Anyways, I am glad your are having good luck, and I guess if it works for you, then that is all that matters.

Let me rephrase so you understand.....I am talking about the initial meeting process....day 1...when you fall all over yourself to be too nice, girls run.....i am talking about going up to a group of women cold.....

It is not games...it is just a process that most men do not understand....at the beginning women are constantly sizing us up....and how do we know how to talk to them unless we know how they tick....i am talking this is "the majority" of women....i do not make the rules.....it just simply is.....Also, no disrespect...it is not luck.....it is well thought out and planned....have you ever noticed some guys get a lot of women, some sales guys get all the sales.....well there is something to that......not saying it is right or wrong....it just is....

Like i said..i am not interested in faling in love or looking for a companion....i like a variety of women and date in age ranges of 23 - 43 at the moment......

**jcindaville** · 12-02-2005, 07:54 PM

Tony, I respectfully disagree with one statement, we need to figure out how they are wired. Thats what i find to be wrong with most american women. Why are we supposed to do that, because of what we have created in these women. I believe that men have created the mess and men need to fix it. We as men are so sex starved that we will do anything for it, including many wrong things. What that has created is why we have to figure out how they are wired. As i stated yesterday in Savages thread it is pretty simple, if a woman wants a man to respect honor and treat her like a queen, all she needs to do is give respect, a piece of GOOD ass once a week, and the rest will be history. Men are way more simple creatures than woman, see what i mean, respect and booty= happy man. Happy man= happy woman. ITS THAT SIMPLE LADIES

**savage1** · 12-02-2005, 07:58 PM

Tony-thanks. I understand what you mean better now.
Yes I do agree that with most America ladies, a guy should not literally throw himself against a lady in the first meeting, shower her with gifts, etc. if he is to succeed.
I learned a long time ago that one has to have a certain amount of mystique in order to succeed.
I played that game when I was younger(I still think it is a game from the guy's point of view anyways) with mixed results.
However, being 61 and simply 1) not wanting to play those "games" anymore and 2) trying to find someone who is on the same wave length as I, I gave up on American dating sites after a couple of years of frustration and as you know looked for and succeeded in finding a lovely Colombian lady.
I think that one of the differences between you and me(this is definitely not a criticism but just reality) is that I want a lady who knows what she wants(and I think a lady should know by the time she is in her mid to late 30's) and doesn't want to play by conventional "rules." Also I am interested in the M word.
From what you say (again not a criticism), it appears you are looking for something of a more casual relationship.
To sum up, I think that a good deal of our differences in perception of American ladies has to do with our own psyche and what makes us(you, me and other guys)tick, of course the difference in our ages and what we want out of a relationship.
ps I certainly hope a few more people including some ladies respond to this.

**GoPackGo1997** · 12-02-2005, 08:48 PM

Originally posted by jcindaville

Tony, I respectfully disagree with one statement, we need to figure out how they are wired. Thats what i find to be wrong with most american women. Why are we supposed to do that, because of what we have created in these women. I believe that men have created the mess and men need to fix it.

Maybe you sincerely do disagree on that, but I wonder if you didn't misunderstand he meant. In order to have anything other than a casual friendship with someone (guy or girl) you have to get to know them. Know what their interests are, the way they express themselves, what kind of food they like, what makes them happy, what pisses them off, etc. I have a friend who vacuums when she gets mad at her boyfriend, because she needs to be productive even when she's upset, it's part of how she's wired. Women tend to be more emotional and more complicated than men, but if you can work backwards, observing their behavior and connecting it to how they feel, and then to how they think, you can form a solid connection between the gender gap and truly understand each other. Understanding the wiring, I think is essential. Culture causes hardships, and it's regretable, but I wouldn't want to live in some of the places I've visited, where women are on a level beneath men, and a meaningful relationship isn't as possible. And I firmly believe respect is something earned, and I for one respect people who take the time to get to know me.

**DCCougar** · 12-02-2005, 08:59 PM

From a "Mid 30's" girl...

I am sorry but I am LMAO
Hearing guys talk like this. I am sorry, I know I am being mean. You ARE trying and that is sweet, really. I just am having a hard time trying to figure out what makes MEN tick lately with no luck. Thanks for the insight.

What I want is a guy who not only acts like he wants to be with me, but a guys who REALLY does want to be with me. When we are together I don't want him wishing he was out with the guys. He should call every couple days to say "hi" or whatever. He should make plans for real dates, not just expecting to come over for a booty call. I enjoy being surprised with the little things, and I like to do special things for my man, like make his favorite meal or show up at his office with Starbucks in the morning. But I never get that in return. I guess I want someone who is truely in love with me and WANTS to do things for ME. and I haven't found that yet.

**savage1** · 12-02-2005, 09:08 PM

[QUOTE=DCCougar]From a "Mid 30's" girl...

I am sorry but I am LMAO
Hearing guys talk like this. I am sorry, I know I am being mean. You ARE trying and that is sweet, really. I just am having a hard time trying to figure out what makes MEN tick lately with no luck. Thanks for the insight.

What I want is a guy who not only acts like he wants to be with me, but a guys who REALLY does want to be with me. When we are together I don't want him wishing he was out with the guys. He should call every couple days to say "hi" or whatever. He should make plans for real dates, not just expecting to come over for a booty call. I enjoy being surprised with the little things, and I like to do special things for my man, like make his favorite meal or show up at his office with Starbucks in the morning. But I never get that in return. I guess I want someone who is truely in love with me and WANTS to do things for ME. and I haven't found that yet.

DCCougar-you are EXACTlY the type of AMERICAN lady I was seeking and did NOT find;I have one now even though she is from another country.
What your post tells me in short is that there are some American ladies who have got it right and feel the same about American men as some of us feel about American ladies.
Best of luck!

**DCCougar** · 12-02-2005, 09:12 PM

Originally posted by savage1

Best of luck!

Thanks... I guess I'll need it.

**savage1** · 12-02-2005, 09:17 PM

DCCougar-remember the old but true adage,"It only takes one", and believe me there are plenty of guys who would appreciate someone like you as a breath of fresh air.

**DCCougar** · 12-02-2005, 09:23 PM

I forgot to mention the kicker... I don't bitch. I MEAN it, I can't stand nagging women, whining. I tell women "Want the gutters cleaned? Get off your ass and do it yourself, I say!, Don't bitch and whine about how it never gets done." Anyway, I don't bitch & nag... that has GOT to be at the top of a guys wish list... doesn't it?

**savage1** · 12-02-2005, 09:32 PM

DCCougar-put that part about NOT bitching and whining in a personal ad or in an online profile;that in itself should get you hundreds if not thousands of responses. lol

**TwoTonTony** · 12-03-2005, 12:16 AM

i just do not see how we can lump all "american" women together......there are soooo many different types of women......savage, i admit i am a great 2-3 month guy and then i am usually gone......i do not use women, i simply do not commit......i think there are many great guys out there who are frustrated as hell because in their minds they are not given an opportunity......which may or may not be correct....my point is simple.....most men do not know how to converse with a women in the ealry stages (going up to someone you are interested in and garnering their attention)....it is intimidating to many men....
all i am saying is that there is a process and it actually goes in steps.....(it also applies to professional world as well).....but sometimes men move to fast and seem to "miss" many signals women put out......many women like a man who is a "goodguy", good sense of humor, knows what he wants, where he is going and confident.....how we convey that to them is where our downfall usually is.....many men rush the process without qualifying.......these are terms many may not be used to but they apply to succesful communication and involve active listening which is a skill "lost on many men"......

it would take me too long to explain all the steps, but believe me i am in real good shape, but am no brad pitt and i have consistently outlanded my much better looking friends.....again, if anybody knows me here they know i do not brag......i just believe women here in the US are great and are waiting for the right guy just like many of us are waiting for the right girl...... imagine if you interviewed them they may say the same thing in reverse.....and you would certainly defend the american male and you would probably say, "but they do not give us a chance"....well that means there are 2 parties available that have simply miscommunicated

**Meg30** · 12-03-2005, 12:23 AM

Originally posted by TwoTonTony

i just believe women here in the US are great and are waiting for the right guy just like many of us are waiting for the right girl......

There you have it in a nutshell

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