Dating Opinion Survey

[TwoTonTony]

From a "Mid 30's" girl...

I am sorry but I am LMAO
Hearing guys talk like this. I am sorry, I know I am being mean. You ARE trying and that is sweet, really. I just am having a hard time trying to figure out what makes MEN tick lately with no luck. Thanks for the insight.

What I want is a guy who not only acts like he wants to be with me, but a guys who REALLY does want to be with me. When we are together I don't want him wishing he was out with the guys. He should call every couple days to say "hi" or whatever. He should make plans for real dates, not just expecting to come over for a booty call. I enjoy being surprised with the little things, and I like to do special things for my man, like make his favorite meal or show up at his office with Starbucks in the morning. But I never get that in return. I guess I want someone who is truely in love with me and WANTS to do things for ME. and I haven't found that yet.

DC cougar....nice to hear a womens perspective......If i can offer any advice...do not comprimise and you will get what you want....sounds like you have just chosen the wrong type of guy and sometimes people get the same type of people over and over again....(the bad boy types, alcoholcs, etc)...there is a case for that certain people put up an antenna for other certain types and attract those types repetitively.....When you do find the right man he will do things because he wants to....not in return for what you do for him.....i know some men who when they realize they have a girl who rolls out the red carpet...they take advantage of that...i have hears that the person who loves the least holds the power...usually the one who says i love you 2nd.....(sad to say but true many times)..i always believe someone has to earn that and obviously takes longer, but the payoff is better.....you sound like a nice women.......good luck to you and command the respect you want....or send them packing.....those things you speak of are just common courtesy and sound like character flaws and i believe if there are character flaws then it is time to go.....GL

[savage1]

Tony-great points again.
Ok-now lets change the venue a little bit to meeting women onlyn through dating sites on the internet as opposed to the many other possible ways;in my case anyways the former is applicable, as that has been the primary means of meeting ladies for the past few years after my divorce.
Now I think if you use that as the basis, what you say about men's approaching women and saying the "right" thing would not apply as much, as at least initially the conversations would be written;it is sure easier sometimes to say something in writing to a lady than to say it verbally(I can say that for sure). I think what you say applies more to meeting ladies in nightclubs for example.
Now if we assume that for most folks my presumption is correct, and judging by my own experience, than I think I can see at least for me my countless hours on the internet on the different sites were not productive, even though I was saying things to some of the ladies that I might not have the confidence to say to them that quickly in person.
Again and judging by my own experience only, I found that most of the ladies were "judging" me in a way in which I didn't want to be judged(lets just say that I found many of their values too shallow for my liking), and that is why I finally threw in the towel and tried something else.
My fiancee is ENTIRELY different from those I met on line, and shares the values I deem to be important in life(my first wife from the Philippines is similar in many ways).
Obviously cultural differences are important, and for me that is a good thing.
I believe in equal rights; in this relationship and in my first marriage, there have actually been times when I have asked my fiancee and my ex-wife what they want to do rather than for me to make all of the decisions, as the husband traditionally is the one who makes the decisions.
I guess in a nutshell why I think I have a gem here in my fiancee is that she is loving, devoted, religious and puts the relationship on a pedestal above anything else in life.
In short, for me she is the perfect lady;if I had a different type of personality and/or set of values/priorities in life, then perhaps I might have had more success with the online dating sites.

[TwoTonTony]

Tony-great points again.
Ok-now lets change the venue a little bit to meeting women onlyn through dating sites on the internet as opposed to the many other possible ways;in my case anyways the former is applicable, as that has been the primary means of meeting ladies for the past few years after my divorce.
Now I think if you use that as the basis, what you say about men's approaching women and saying the "right" thing would not apply as much, as at least initially the conversations would be written;it is sure easier sometimes to say something in writing to a lady than to say it verbally(I can say that for sure). I think what you say applies more to meeting ladies in nightclubs for example.
Now if we assume that for most folks my presumption is correct, and judging by my own experience, than I think I can see at least for me my countless hours on the internet on the different sites were not productive, even though I was saying things to some of the ladies that I might not have the confidence to say to them that quickly in person.
Again and judging by my own experience only, I found that most of the ladies were "judging" me in a way in which I didn't want to be judged(lets just say that I found many of their values too shallow for my liking), and that is why I finally threw in the towel and tried something else.
My fiancee is ENTIRELY different from those I met on line, and shares the values I deem to be important in life(my first wife from the Philippines was similar in many ways).
Obviously cultural differences are important, and for me that is a good thing.
I believe in equal rights; in this relationship and in my first marriage, there have actually been times when I have asked my fiancee and my ex-wife what she wants to do rather than me making all of the decisions, as the husband traditionally the one who makes the decisions.
I guess in a nutshell why I think I have a gem here in my fiancee is that my she is loving, devoted, religious and puts the relationship on a pedestal above anything else in life.
In short, for me she is the perfect lady;if I had a different type of personality and/or set of values/priorities in life, then perhaps I might have had more success with the online dating sites.

i think online dating (which i have done also) has its own set of rules.....obviously it is resume driven and looks driven....the person has to be attracted to your photo and how you write your profile.......once that is out of the way the same rules apply......it is not just a nightclub thing.....it is a communication tool that allows you to talk to strangers (men also) and be confident as well......these are not pick up lines since those are cheesy and we must give women more credit than that.....it is not a script.....it is simply a process of communication that when executed in order will increase your odds with women.....it allows you to be yourself and appeal to the person you are trying to impress and meet.....I happen to like people (all people) and i have the luxury of meetin hundreds of people per week so this is 2nd nature to me.....but i have a friend who has a company that teaches these techniques and he makes a fortune......i have seen guys clean up there wardrobe and after 3 days become new and confident men.....truly amazing.......i am sure you can attest that the older we get the more set in our ways we become and the dating pool becomes thinner and thinner....so it gets harder and harder......we all have our own styles, but i think there are many women here who are great....sure many women here want too much and are ridiculous....want a guy who is rich, only works 40 hours (which is impossible), masucline yet sensitve....treats her like a lady, gives her the finer things in life....lets her not work....and blah blah blah....those women have an entitlement complex and can not be saved and whoever marries them is going to be a miserable SOB

[TwoTonTony]

Tony-great points again.
Ok-now lets change the venue a little bit to meeting women onlyn through dating sites on the internet as opposed to the many other possible ways;in my case anyways the former is applicable, as that has been the primary means of meeting ladies for the past few years after my divorce.
Now I think if you use that as the basis, what you say about men's approaching women and saying the "right" thing would not apply as much, as at least initially the conversations would be written;it is sure easier sometimes to say something in writing to a lady than to say it verbally(I can say that for sure). I think what you say applies more to meeting ladies in nightclubs for example.
Now if we assume that for most folks my presumption is correct, and judging by my own experience, than I think I can see at least for me my countless hours on the internet on the different sites were not productive, even though I was saying things to some of the ladies that I might not have the confidence to say to them that quickly in person.
Again and judging by my own experience only, I found that most of the ladies were "judging" me in a way in which I didn't want to be judged(lets just say that I found many of their values too shallow for my liking), and that is why I finally threw in the towel and tried something else.
My fiancee is ENTIRELY different from those I met on line, and shares the values I deem to be important in life(my first wife from the Philippines is similar in many ways).
Obviously cultural differences are important, and for me that is a good thing.
I believe in equal rights; in this relationship and in my first marriage, there have actually been times when I have asked my fiancee and my ex-wife what they want to do rather than for me to make all of the decisions, as the husband traditionally is the one who makes the decisions.
I guess in a nutshell why I think I have a gem here in my fiancee is that she is loving, devoted, religious and puts the relationship on a pedestal above anything else in life.
In short, for me she is the perfect lady;if I had a different type of personality and/or set of values/priorities in life, then perhaps I might have had more success with the online dating sites.

congratulations...sounds like that really worked for you.......we are all so different and that is great!!!

[savage1]

Tony- I think you are right on again;whats funny is that I really think that you and I agree on an awful lot (maybe not politics lol) when it come to dating;I think perhaps the diifference lies in the fact that we are looking at it from different perspectives, some of which is due to age and some of which is due to what you and I are looking for out of a relationship.
In all honesty, I would be lying if overall I deemed my physical appearance much above average from a lady's point of view, and perhaps that is one of reasons I had some trouble on line.
Its the old story(everyone can attest to this at one time of another in their lives)-the ladies to whom I was attracted all things considered in many cases were not attracted to me, and vice versa.
I have to admit that there were some ladies who might have been interested in me, but I wasn't interested in them because of well, alas, I am human and was not physically attracted to them, AND I was seeking a lady somewhat younger than me, which goes clearly against the growing trend of older women and younger men.
Obviously, the equation changes dramatically outside of the US, where there are a lot of younger,attractive, intelligent and loving ladies and most importantly ones who share my values.
Thus, I guess I might say that for ME the decision was a wise one, and for anyone who is similar to me in beliefs, age, etc. it might be a good idea to broaden his horizons and try something like I did.
ps Thanks for the good wishes!

[TwoTonTony]

Tony- I think you are right on again;whats funny is that I really think that you and I agree on an awful lot (maybe not politics lol) when it come to dating;I think perhaps the diifference lies in the fact that we are looking at it from different perspectives, some of which is due to age and some of which is due to what you and I are looking for out of a relationship.
In all honesty, I would be lying if overall I deemed my physical appearance much above average from a lady's point of view, and perhaps that is one of reasons I had some trouble on line.
Its the old story(everyone can attest to this at one time of another in their lives)-the ladies to whom I was attracted all things considered in many cases were not attracted to me, and vice versa.
I have to admit that there were some ladies who might have been interested in me, but I wasn't interested in them because of well, alas, I am human and was not physically attracted to them, AND I was seeking a lady somewhat younger than me, which goes clearly against the growing trend of older women and younger men.
Obviously, the equation changes dramatically outside of the US, where there are a lot of younger,attractive, intelligent and loving ladies and most importantly ones who share my values.
Thus, I guess I might say that for ME the decision was a wise one, and for anyone who is similar to me in beliefs, age, etc. it might be a good idea to broaden his horizons and try something like I did.
ps Thanks for the good wishes!

online dating is tough and in many ways a scam...almost every girl i took out was fat.....i love petite or athletic woman since i take great care of my body....but there is many falsehoods which i do not understand since you will eventually meet them....i did this for a month for something different a few years back....but i did hook up with 3 real hot women as well......just a little baggage.....

the great thing as men is that women are much better people generally than men......i mean you can see a beautiful woman with an average or ugly man, yet you rarely see the opposite.....women have much more substance, so all men have a chance and when you are confident it transcends looks......women pick up on that and love that......so if someone is average or below average...all is not lost.....it is what your self-worth inside and outside that women admire.....

[savage1]

Tony-I forgot to mention that I am not attracted to women who are a bit overweight;I am not in your class re: physical shape for obvious reason, but I jog a lot and my weight is proportional to my height.
I am 5'8", about 157lb. and my fiancee is about 5' and 100 lb.-perfect.
What you say is true about looks being more important to men than to women, although I have seen some instances where nice looking men are involved with women whom I wouldn't date because I am not attracted to them.