Some Comedy

[ChuckLazar]

10DimeBry goes to the drug store with his 12-year-old son.

His son stops at the condom display, grabs a package of 3 condoms off the rack, and asks, "Wow, dad, what are these for?"

Bryan answers, "That, son, is what you buy when you're in high school - one for Friday night, one for Saturday night, one for Sunday night."

His son says, "OK, Dad," then grabs a package of 6 condoms, and again asks, "then what are these for?"

Bryan calmly answers, "That, son, is what you buy when you're in college.... one for Thursday night, two for Friday night, two for Saturday night, and one more for Sunday night."

His son puts those back, takes down a package of 12 condoms, and asks, "then what are these for, dad?"

To which Bryan replies, "That, son, is what you buy when you're married....................................
One for January, one for February......."


Wayne.... loved the last 4 too.... the moth cracked me up tho

I could piture Bryan saying that. All you guys were great, I fully enjoyed these.

[RJeremy]

These were good. We should start a humor thread everyday.

[rwall]

2 women were playing golf. On the third hole there was a 4 men in front of them but about 175 yards down the fairway. The first woman said i'll tee off he is far enough away. She hit the drive of her life, like a shot straight down the faraway. She screamed fore at the top of her lungs and as the men turned one was hit solidly. He was rolling on the ground in pain with his hands between his legs.

She ran to him, apologizing and saying "let me help I am a physical therapist." He protested but she got him to put his hands at his side. She unzipped his pants and began massaging him.

"How does that feel?" she asked. He said, "Great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

[rwall]

Why don't blondes like to breast feed their children?

Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.

[rwall]

There was a blonde in the middle of a corn field rowing a boat, when another blonde drove by. The blonde in the car got out and hollered to the other one, "It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and teach you a lesson."

[rwall]

Your momma is like a race car . . .

She burns four rubbers a day.

Your momma is so fat . . .

She put on a Dallas Cowboys jersey and the star was so big,
everywhere she went, three wise men followed her.

Your mamma is so fat . . .

When she wears a Malcom X T-shirt, helicopters try to land
on her

[GoldVike]

good ones!

How does a blonde make sure she has sex with the lights off?

Closes the car door!

Why do all blondes wear hooped earings?

Someplace to put their ankles!

Why did the brunette dye her hair blonde?

Didn't want the stress of having to explain anything!

[rwall]

Cover Charge: $15.00
Round of Drinks: $23.00
Table Dance: $30.00
Another Round of Drinks: $23.00
Couch Dance and Tips: $50.00
A Round of Shots: $34.00
Another Round of Drinks: $23.00
Lap Dance and Hand Job: $100.00
Private Dance and Hotel Room: $500.00
Sending her on her way without having to cuddle or listen to her:

...........PRICELESS!

[rwall]

Pick up Lines

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

(Lick finger and wipe on shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Nice legs....what time do they open?

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

You've got 206 bones in your body, want 1 more?

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a BIG BREASTED BED THRASHER, have you seen one?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest women on earth tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

Is that a ladder in you stockings or the stairway to heaven?

You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

[rwall]

A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings.

It is her husbands best friend and she invites him in. Since she is in her bathrobe the man says to her "you have the nicest breasts". She says "thanks but my husband would be mad if he heard you".

He replies "I would pay you $10 just to see one of them". She thinks for a minute and decides to do it.

He says "Wow that is the most perfect breast I ever saw....I will give you another $10 if you show me both at the same time".

She does it, and he gives her the money. The friend leaves and her husband comes home. She says "your best friend just stopped by". He answers "Great did he leave the $20 he owed me"

[rwall]

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch.
The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop.

"Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender.

"Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!"

"Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house."
So the bartender gives him another tripple scotch and again he gulps it down.
"If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?"

"I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!"

"Good for you! You said the right thing.
So what did you say to your best friend?"

"Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said...
...BAD DOG!"

[Rippage22]

More of "Yo Momma"...

Yo Momma is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook Minute Rice...


Yo Momma is so fat her High School picture was an aerial photograph....

[Spark]

A little boy walks in on his mother riding his father and she is bouncing up and down!! she gets off puts on her robe and takes her son back to bed and said mommy wasnt hurting daddy i was just jumping up and down on daddys fat belly to try and flatten it down!! The boy looks at his mom shacking his head and said mom thats not gonna work because the neighbor was over here last week blowing it up ... hahaha

[RJeremy]

Pick up line:

You look tired. Why don't you crawl up my leg and hit the sack!

[wayne1218]

Subject: New Bra

A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps
women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing
through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took
the scientist outside and beat the shit out of him.