Wednesdays Plays From The Chicken

[PhilJr]

Mbates and his wife went golfing. After a tragic start where his wife died, mbates went to the doctor for an autopsy report. The doctor said "I have found the cause of death and something interesting. Your wife died of a blunt trauma to the head." Mbates said " While I was teeing off, I hooked the ball and hit her in the head. That must be how she died." The doctor said "we also found a golf ball in her ass". mabtes proudly said " that was my mulligan".

[wayne1218]

Sorry mbates but that was f@cken funny 9.0 !

[PhilJr]

I was lucky to witness the last time mbates and his wife went golfing. I was sitting in the clubhouse enjoying a 24oz Old Milwaukee, when mbates wife came running into the clubhouse screaming. She said to the club pro "I just got stung by a bee between the first and second hole". The pro replied " all I can tell you is to close your stance a little bit"

[PhilJr]

Is that a ten Wayne?

[wayne1218]

I'm laughing out loud but.......9.5 ....Always have to leave room for a better one :D

[stev]

There is a story about a certain bookmaker who was making a long trip by car when towards nightfall he happened upon an inn which had a most unusual name, The Even Steven. Since it was located in the middle of a desolate stretch of country, and he didn't know how much farther the next place would be, he decided to stop there for the night, and satisfy his curiosity about the name at the same time.

"It's very simple, really," the proprietor explained. "You see, my name is Steven Even. So I just decided to turn it around and call this The Even Steven. I thought if might get a few folks puzzled enough to stop and ask questions, and sometimes it does."

"That's a pretty smart way to use the luck of a name," said the bookie appreciatively. "I bet it brings you a lot of business."

"It hasn't brought me so much luck," he said. "The folks who stop here don't stay long. There's not much gaiety around here, as you could see. In fact, there's not another soul lives closer than thirty miles away, whichever way you go. Makes it pretty lonely for me, a widower. And worse still for my daughters. Three of the loveliest girls you ever set eyes on, should have their pick of boy friends. But, they are getting so frustrated they're about to do anything for a man."

The bookie made sympathetic noises, and listened to more in the same vein until hunger obliged him to change the subject to that of food. An excellent home-cooked dinner was served to him by a gorgeous blonde who introduced herself as Blanche Even; and when he was surfeited she still kept pressing him to ask for anything else he wanted.

Finally, she said, "Would you like me to sit and talk to you for a while?"

"Thank you," he said politely, "but I've had a long day and I feel like closing the book."

He went to his room and had just started to undress when there was a knock at the door and an absolutely breath-taking brunette came in.

"I'm Carmen Even," she said. "I just wanted to see if you'd got everything you want."

"I think so, thank you," he said pleasantly. "I do a lot of traveling, so I pack very systematically."

When he had finally convinced her and got rid of her, he climbed in between the sheets and was preparing to read himself to sleep over the Racing Form when the door opened again to admit an utterly stupefying redhead in a negligee to end all negligees.

"I'm Ginger Even," she announced. "I wanted to be sure your bed was comfortable."

"It is," he assured her.

"I hope you're not just being tactful," she insisted. "May I try it myself?"

"If you must," said the bookie primly. "I will get out while you do it."

When she had gone, he settled down with a sigh of relief and was about to put out the light at last when the door burst open once more and the proprietor himself stomped in, glowing with indignation.

"What's the matter with you," he roared. "I got to listen all night to my daughters moaning an' wailing, the most luscious gals in this county, because they all try to show you hospitality an' you won't give one of 'em a tumble. Ain't us Evens good enough for you?"

"I'm sorry," said the transient. "But I told you when I registered, I'm a professional bookmaker. I only lay Odds."

[wayne1218]

NICE 8.5.......But i would lay even.

[PhilJr]

going for the 10

Before mbates got married, he was going to have a weekend with some girls. He went to the doctor and said "I have 6 beautiful women coming over this weekend and I need something that will keep me hard all night". So the doctor gave him a new ointment to try out and told mbates to report to him on Monday the results.
Monday morning mbates went back to the doctor to report about his weekend. The doctor asked mbates to pull down his pants. When mbates did the doctor could see his penis looked like raw hamburger from all the use it saw over the weekend. Mbates said " I need some Ben Gay". The doctor said " Why would you want to put Ben Gay on that"? Mbates said " I need it for my arms and shoulders, the girls never showed up".