Bettorschat Mad LIbs #3: BC In Space

[Blackbeard]

Fill in the blanks:

It was the year _______, the starship USS ________, had just telported their landing party back to the ship after a long stay on planet _______. ______ took off his space______ and signaled the ______ that they could break orbit. Captain _______ turned to his navigator and told him to set a course for _______ , when his communications officer ______ said they were being hailed by an enemy _______. The weapons officer who was half man, half______ turned the weapons array & guidance systems to_______.

Suddenly off the port side of the ship, space began to warp and a tear in space opened up, a _______ emerged and began _______ on the ship. The Captain signaled for red _______ and ordered all hands to _______ and told the crew to put on their space______. Time began to ______ as the ship was drawn into the rip in space. The captain shouted _______ but his words _______ as the ship got closer to the hole. The crew blacked out and the ship vanished into the hole followed by a _______ sound, and a _______ and than nothingness.

The ship emerged on the other side of the galaxy orbiting the _______ nebula. The captain began to awake and called the medical center on the ships _______. Doctor _______ was wrapping a _______ and nurse _______ was applying a funny looking ointment to ________. The infirmary was overloaded with _______ and some of the crew had space______. The doctor told the captain that he was going to have to _______ and got back to his _______.

Outside the ship, the nebula began to coalesce and take the shape of _______. A booming voice could be heard throughout the ship. The crew had to _______ over their ears to keep from going _______. That’s no nebula shouted ______, that’s a _______ from _______. The captain shouted “open _____” but that had no affect. He shouted to the helmsman to prepare for lightspeed and turn on the space______, but the helm was not responding. Suddenly the ______ opened its mouth and _______ the ship.

The cyborg science officer_______ told the captain that they only had one chance to save the ship. He began _______ and after a minute of _______ he pulled the positron cable out of _______ and inserted it into _______. The lights on the bridge dimmed and then the creature began to______ and _______. The ship shook violently as the creature _______. After a minute the cyborg removed the_______ and the creature screamed and_______. The ensuing explosion forced the ship through a new tear in space and they tumbled to a stop near______.

The engines were up and running again and the _______ was nowhere to be seen. In fact the other______ was gone and everything was ______. "All that for nothing" said the_______. I wouldn’t say that the captains said, we did get to_______ and _______ that creature, that’s always good, and we are alive, which is quite ______. I would say it was a_______ experience and we should be _______ that we have _______. Set a course for ________, I think we all need a _______ and to remember that space_______ is our _______ and never forget______

[bhs4life]

I Was Just About To Ask About This Thanks Buddy

[Blackbeard]

I need to edit it for a minute, so hold off for a few mins charlie, thanks

[Blackbeard]

Ok, lock and load

[Lsufan]

Thanks BB.

[Blackbeard]

i ran out of time, but if you guys could add a _____ after the word navigator in the first paragraph, and a _____ after weapons officer that would be great, and for the guys later on please add these as well. I'm going to put another of these with the changes, below this post, use that version>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[Blackbeard]

It was the year _______, the starship USS ________, had just telported their landing party back to the ship after a long stay on planet _______. ______ took off his space______ and signaled the ______ that they could break orbit. Captain _______ turned to his navigator_______, and told him to set a course for _______ , when his communications officer ______ said they were being hailed by an enemy _______. The weapons officer_______ who was half man, half______ turned the weapons array & guidance systems to_______.

Suddenly off the port side of the ship, space began to warp and a tear in space opened up, a _______ emerged and began _______ on the ship. The Captain signaled for red _______ and ordered all hands to _______ and told the crew to put on their space______. Time began to ______ as the ship was drawn into the rip in space. The captain shouted _______ but his words _______ as the ship got closer to the hole. The crew blacked out and the ship vanished into the hole followed by a _______ sound, and a _______ and than nothingness.

The ship emerged on the other side of the galaxy orbiting the _______ nebula. The captain began to awake and called the medical center on the ships _______. Doctor _______ was wrapping a _______ and nurse _______ was applying a funny looking ointment to ________. The infirmary was overloaded with _______ and some of the crew had space______. The doctor told the captain that he was going to have to _______ and got back to his _______.

Outside the ship, the nebula began to coalesce and take the shape of _______. A booming voice could be heard throughout the ship. The crew had to _______ over their ears to keep from going _______. That’s no nebula shouted ______, that’s a _______ from _______. The captain shouted “open _____” but that had no affect. He shouted to the helmsman to prepare for lightspeed and turn on the space______, but the helm was not responding. Suddenly the ______ opened its mouth and _______ the ship.

The cyborg science officer_______ told the captain that they only had one chance to save the ship. He began _______ and after a minute of _______ he pulled the positron cable out of _______ and inserted it into _______. The lights on the bridge dimmed and then the creature began to______ and _______. The ship shook violently as the creature _______. After a minute the cyborg removed the_______ and the creature screamed and_______. The ensuing explosion forced the ship through a new tear in space and they tumbled to a stop near______.

The engines were up and running again and the _______ was nowhere to be seen. In fact the other______ was gone and everything was ______. "All that for nothing" said the_______. I wouldn’t say that the captains said, we did get to_______ and _______ that creature, that’s always good, and we are alive, which is quite ______. I would say it was a_______ experience and we should be _______ that we have _______. Set a course for ________, I think we all need a _______ and to remember that space_______ is our _______ and never forget______

[bhs4life]

It was the year 2050 , the starship USS Swamp Dog, had just teleported their landing party back to the ship after a long stay on planet Feura Bush. Hoss took off his Uncle mo Space mask and signaled the Flag man that they could break orbit. Captain Monte turned to his navigator Spark, and told him to set a course for Vegas , when his communications officer Wayne said they were being hailed by an enemy WIZ ship. The weapons officer RJ who was half man, half PORN-STAR (see vegas photos) , turned the weapons array & guidance systems to call them gay and return fire.

Suddenly off the port side of the ship, space began to warp and a tear in space opened up, a chicagodog emerged and began humping on the ship. The Captain signaled for red rover and ordered all hands to dick and told the crew to put on their space hats. Time began to turn back as the ship was drawn into the rip in space. The KAPT shouted vote LSUFAN AOTM but his words went silent as the ship got closer to the hole. The crew blacked out and the ship vanished into the hole followed by a Fart sound, and a Flush and than nothingness.

The ship emerged on the other side of the galaxy orbiting the Chuck E. Cheese nebula. The captain began to awake and called the medical center on the ships string and cups. Lovedoc was wrapping a Uraina and nurse LDAWG (LISA) was applying a funny looking ointment to BigMike. The infirmary was overloaded with TwoTonTony and some of the crew had space Shits. The doctor told the captain that he was going to have to contact Rwall and got back to his Medic duites.

Outside the ship, the nebula began to coalesce and take the shape of Big Weiner. A booming voice could be heard throughout the ship. The crew had to Put socks over their ears to keep from going insane. That’s no nebula shouted Homer, that’s a Deathship from Utah. The captain shouted “open Fire” but that had no affect. He shouted to the helmsman to prepare for lightspeed and turn on the space JET, but the helm was not responding. Suddenly the Deathship opened its mouth and ate the ship.

The cyborg science officer Hoosier daddy told the captain that they only had one chance to save the ship. He began listing demands and after a minute of bull-shiting he pulled the positron cable out of its charger and inserted it into a 10-dime dinosaur. The lights on the bridge dimmed and then the creature began to grow and scream. The ship shook violently as the creature Jumped up. After a minute the cyborg removed the cable and the creature screamed and blew up. The ensuing explosion forced the ship through a new tear in space and they tumbled to a stop near North Dakota.

The engines were up and running again and the monster was nowhere to be seen. In fact the deathship was gone and everything was fine. "All that for nothing" said Jeff. I wouldn’t say that the captains said, we did get to travel and get ate by that creature, that’s always good, and we are alive, which is quite comforting. I would say it was a good experience and we should be greatful that we have our lives. Set a course for vegas, I think we all need a Golden Shower and to remember that space can be dangerous and never forget to dunk on bitches so they don’t fuck up your back.

[bhs4life]

Anybody Else?

[Lsufan]

Anybody Else?

I'm still "slow brewing" mine, as Blackbeard would say.

[Blackbeard]

It was the year 2503.06 OF THE 3RD BLACKBEARDIAN DYNASTY, the starship USS GAMBLER, had just telported their landing party back to the ship after a long stay on planet BEAVER 4, WHICH IS RENOWNED FOR EXOTIC ALIEN T&A, HOMOEROTIC SPACE CHICKENS AND FAINTING GOATS. 10DIMEBRY took off his space BUTT PLUG and signaled the GUY WHOSE NAME HE CAN NEVER REMEMBER ON THE BRIDGE, JOH... NO JASO...NO, WAYNE!! that they could break orbit. Captain KMANN turned to his navigator LSUFAN, and told him to set a course for URANUS, JUST KIDDNG HE SAID, WERE GOING TO THE BETTORSCHAT POSTING CONTEST ON URASSHOLE, when his communications officer WAYNECHUNG said they were being hailed by an enemy BAMIRONCHUNGRAMALMADINGDONG. The weapons officer RJEREMY who was half man, half SHE APE FROM RECORDITRON11 turned the weapons array & guidance systems to HIS FAVORITE LITE SPACE MUSIC CHANNEL OPENED A BOTTLE OF CABERNET, AND PERUSED THE SPACE ADS FOR VINTAGE C-CLASS DRIVING MACHINES.

Suddenly off the port side of the ship, space began to warp and a tear in space opened up, a ARMY OF EVIL HOOSIERDADDY CLONES emerged and began PIMPING OUT THE HO'S on the ship. The Captain signaled for red MONKEY ASS LOVIN' and ordered all hands to BITCH SLAP THE INVADERS and told the crew to put on their space PIMP HATS WITH ROOSTER FEATHERS AND ANTI-GRAVITY PLATFORM SHOES. Time began to PLAY AS BLACKBEARD LISTENED TO HIS FAVORITE CD DARK SIDE OF THE MOON as the ship was drawn into the rip in space. The captain shouted WHERE IS MY GODDAMN RIM JOB DAMN IT but his words SOUNDED LIKE WHERE IS MY BEAN BURRITO as the ship got closer to the hole. The crew blacked out and the ship vanished into the hole followed by a COVERBOY ROBIN TROWER GUITAR LICK sound, and a SMELL OF SKIDMARKS and than nothingness.

The ship emerged on the other side of the galaxy orbiting the SHITIGOTCRABS nebula. The captain began to awake and called the medical center on the ships COMMUNICATION THING. Doctor SPARK was wrapping a BLANKET AROUND A SAUSAGE CREATURE FROM BEEFINME 3, and nurse BH$4LIFE was applying a funny looking ointment to BIG WEINER'S WEINER. The infirmary was overloaded with HO'S, PIMPS, SKANKS, SCALLAWOPS AND HOMER WHO HAD BURNED HIMSELF AGAIN DOIN IT WITH A HOLOGRAM, and some of the crew had space ANAL FISSURES. The doctor told the captain that he was going to have to CONTINUE MODERATING and got back to his SERVICE POSTS AND BANISHMENT THREATS.

Outside the ship, the nebula began to coalesce and take the shape of A LAZAR2 TANNING STATION INSIDE A GIANT HEAD. A booming voice could be heard throughout the ship. The crew had to PUT EACH OTHERS BALLSACKS over their ears to keep from going STRAIGHT. That’s no nebula shouted MOONDOG22, that’s a POD from CHUCKECHEESE. The captain shouted “open WIDE, THATS IT ” but that had no affect. He shouted to the helmsman to prepare for lightspeed and turn on the space BEAVER TRIMMER WITH WOOD FLOOR FINISHING ACCESORIES, but the helm was not responding. Suddenly the GIANT HEAD opened its mouth and STARTED TANNING the ship.

The cyborg science officer RWALL told the captain that they only had one chance to save the ship. He began BY CASTING HIS VOTE FOR AOTM and after a minute of CAMPAIGNING FOR RJEREMY he pulled the positron cable out of HOMERS SOCCERBALL and inserted it into KBSOONERS NASCAR/DEATH RAY. The lights on the bridge dimmed and then the creature began to TURN LEFT and LDAWG CHEERED. The ship shook violently as the creature BOUGHT A $6 HOT DOG AT THE CONCESSION STAND. After a minute the cyborg removed the ANAL BEADS FROM HIS HALF METAL ASS and the creature screamed and SAID THIS SUCKS. The ensuing explosion forced the ship through a new tear in space and they tumbled to a stop near MONTE'S SPACE MUSEUM SPONSERED BY PINNACLE.

The engines were up and running again and the POORLY WRITTEN PLOT was nowhere to be seen. In fact the other MEMBERS HAD LOGGED OFF AND was gone and everything was GREAT. "All that for nothing" said the MORON WITH THE BIG MOUTH. I wouldn’t say that the captains said, we did get to SEE THE POD and BLOW THE SHIT OUT OF that creature, that’s always good, and we are alive, which is quite DEPRESSING ACTUALLY. I would say it was a 45% GAY experience and we should be THANKFUL TO BLACKBEARD that we have SUCH A DEMENTED MEMBER TO WRITE THIS SHIT UP. Set a course for CLITORIUM 5, I think we all need a RUSTY TROMBONE and to remember that space HUMMERS ARE NOT AS GOOD AS EARTH HUMMERS and never forget TO GIVE ME THAT REACH AROUND

[CoverBoy]

Me too ... us artists are tempermental ... 95% temper and 5% mental.

[Blackbeard]

damn that was hard!! next week back to basics, bettorschat in the old west

[Lsufan]

This was a tough one

It was the year 2069, the starship USS Cum Shot had just teleported their landing party back to the ship after a long stay on planet ScratchYourCrack. Rwall took off his space pocket pussy and signaled the krew that they could break orbit. Captain Kmann turned to his navigator Blackbeard, and told him to set a course for Uranus, when his communications officer The Rook said they were being hailed by an enemy spam sports service that was trying to put him out of business. The weapons officer 10DimeBry, who was half man, half Fainting Goat, turned the weapons array & guidance systems to ”full load.”

Suddenly off the port side of the ship, space began to warp and a tear in space opened up, a bearded clam hole emerged and began wrapping pubic hair on the ship. The Captain signaled for red rover, red rover, send RJeremy right over and ordered all hands to put one thumb in their ass, and one in their mouth and told the crew to put on their space lube. Time began to keep on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’, into the future as the ship was drawn into the rip in space. The captain shouted ”I think I’m about to blow my load!!” but his words were just a wet dream as the ship got closer to the hole. The crew blacked out and the ship vanished into the hole followed by a ohhhhhh sound, and a ahhhhhh and than nothingness.

The ship emerged on the other side of the galaxy orbiting the MoonDog nebula. The captain began to awake and called the medical center on the ships call & cum phones. Doctor Tom Foolery was wrapping a lobster roll and nurse Spark was applying a funny looking ointment to KBSooner’s schlong. The infirmary was overloaded with open ass infection and some of the crew had space crabs. The doctor told the captain that he was going to have to order everyone to stop taking Viagra and got back to his lobster rolls.

Outside the ship, the nebula began to coalesce and take the shape of a giant yo-yo. A booming voice could be heard throughout the ship. The crew had to sprinkle booty dust over their ears to keep from going into a circle jerk frenzy. That’s no nebula shouted CoverBoy, that’s a Yo-Yo from my dreams. The captain shouted “open a new AOTM poll for July, I don’t like the results of this one” but that had no affect. He shouted to the helmsman to prepare for lightspeed and turn on the space jams, but the helm was not responding. Suddenly the yo-yo opened its mouth and scarf downed the ship.

The cyborg science officer, JMarty told the captain that they only had one chance to save the ship. He began pulling on the Kaptain’s piss pump and after a minute of stroking it he pulled the positron cable out of LoveDoc’s ass and inserted it into Homer’s ass. The lights on the bridge dimmed and then the creature began to swell and spit out white stuff. The ship shook violently as the creature became increasingly wet. After a minute the cyborg removed the butt plugs from his friend’s asses and the creature screamed and spit out the ship as if it were giving birth. The ensuing explosion forced the ship through a new tear in space and they tumbled to a stop near the nipple rings of Saturn.

The engines were up and running again and the Yo-Yo was nowhere to be seen. In fact the other bearded clam was gone and everything was back to being gay. "All that for nothing" said the blind mice. I wouldn’t say that the captain said, we did get to see a woman’s cooch for a change and tap the ass of that creature, that’s always good, and we are alive, which is quite peachy keen with me. I would say it was a overrated experience and we should be very blissful that we have not had that much anal sex this trip. Set a course for Spaarkie’s house, I think we all need a cow tipping lesson and to remember that space crabs is our friends and never forget to yell “Boom Goes The Dynamite” when blowing your load in your partner’s ass.

[Lsufan]

I finally got a chance to read the other two. LMAO

Favorite Lines:

Hoss took off his Uncle mo Space mask and signaled the Flag man that they could break orbit.

I think we all need a Golden Shower and to remember that space can be dangerous and never forget to dunk on bitches so they don’t fuck up your back.

…when his communications officer WAYNECHUNG said they were being hailed by an enemy BAMIRONCHUNGRAMALMADINGDONG.

Doctor SPARK was wrapping a BLANKET AROUND A SAUSAGE CREATURE FROM BEEFINME 3…

Chung makes a great communications officer!!!