KAPTAINs "New Ship"---"New Crew" thread

[Kaptain]

rwall---the Kaptain has already asked the shipyard to add some additional quarters, and label above the door---rwall---...we needs some good sense of humor aboard our new ship....The crew speaks good about you, and the old Kaptain welcomes you aboard our new ship when she comes out.....We'll determine your duties---after we seez how big our crew is....Kaptain....

[ItsBillBelichick]

Kaptain I hope there is still room for me

I know I can't be the helmsman with my bad eye.

I can light a match and fire off some cannons though

[Spark]

rwall---the Kaptain has already asked the shipyard to add some additional quarters, and label above the door---rwall---...we needs some good sense of humor aboard our new ship....The crew speaks good about you, and the old Kaptain welcomes you aboard our new ship when she comes out.....We'll determine your duties---after we seez how big our crew is....Kaptain....

and good sense of humor we will have with rwall ... Great choice kapt .. Welcome rwall and never forget your wit buddy ...

[Kaptain]

ItsBill---ye be safe on the Kaptains crew my man...this beez for the new baseball ship the Kapt beez building...Coverboy/FrankB03 will be sailing her...CB beez the helmsman---Frank B the first mate and navigator...those 2 are pretty close...we'll continue to sail our ships (football/basketball)---theirs beez a baseball only ship....We stay as we are. ItsBill at the helm---Spark (First Mate)---we needs to gets a new cook/navigator for the old ships...Mights have to finds out if rwall can cook/navigate...kapt

[The Lovedoc]

Rwall, Congrats on your promotion!! Have fun on the ship buddy!!

[rwall]

I just got home from Daytona. That's why I did not answer sooner.
Kman - Thank you very much. It is an honor.

LovDoc and Spark As always Thanks to you guys also.

[CoverBoy]

Wally --- Congrats Pal and Welcome Aboard - Now we need to think of your initiation ceremony - Nothing as severe as mine, Pal, so dont start worrying now. Jeez they locked me in the brig for 2 days with 3 insurance salesmen. I felt like I gave birth ... to twin accountants !!!

We'll think of something good for you.

Congrats again Crewmate - you're THE GOODS !!!

***************************************

Kaptain Karl and Crew Thanks for considering and accepting my proposal of Wally for membership. He's Sicilian, Scottish and German ... Good Christ I know who's going to be in charge of bringing in the babes for our parties !!! Madonna !!! Lol .

Take a very close look at each and everyone who posted in this thread . We all know Lovedoc is in ... come to think about it …. he was very slick about it too ... he never had an initiation ceremony ... he quietly slipped through the cracks LOL UNTIL NOW THAT IS. Doc did you think you're getting off THAT easy?

The young blood is JUST AWESOME.

Look at these quotes:


Wally:

"No matter what as long as I'm healthy, there will always be ways to make money."

"The sheep's names are Woolma and Baahbara"



Paco:

"I can do it all.
remember that I have a VIP card to home depot!!!!


Cowboys:

"im of asian decent, and you know those crazy asians love to gamble. especially the small ones that have something to prove"


PRICELESS !!!

It's Bill - Welcome back Buddy. We know you took some well needed and well deserved time off. It's always great when you're around.


So we have a lot of work ahead of us with the fleet expansion and the gearing up of our crew for baseball season. We have 6 weeks to get everything ship - shape and I'll tell ya - things look real promising.

Karl, just tell us what's next and we'll carry out your every command.

[rwall]

CB
Thanks, I'm starting to think this is
"La Cruisa Nostra"

[RJeremy]

well damn, now that the asian, mexican, and sicilian spots are filled, the only thing i have left to offer is some irish, german, and english. haha.

btw, are we checking VISA's, Green Cards, and Passports upon boarding??

[Spark]

btw, are we checking VISA's, Green Cards, and Passports upon boarding??

Oh shit

[CoverBoy]

Kaptain Karl and Mates

Yup ... this is going to be one helluva season. I took the liberty of jotting down some ideas with the hope of making things much less complicated for you.


Transportation : Manning each ship is a problem what with all of the sports overlapping. There must be some way to simplify everything.
Ahhhh - here's an idea ... let's invest in a helicoptor so we can more easily shuttle our crew members from one ship to the next. This method will prove to be much more efficient than last summer. Another benefit is that it's much easier to ping - pong all the prostitutes. But now we're going to have to name the chopper... decisions, decisions. ... lol

Snacks : And here's a key question we need to address . Who's going to supply us with cold cuts this summer? I hope you're not thinkin about using Benny The Groin again . His Genoa Salami and Virginia Ham were inconsistent at best. And remember the night when Spark almost choked on the mozzarella cheese? FrankieB gave him the Heimlich maneuver and thank God he was OK but Spark walked around with a hard - on for 2 days after that.

Now ... Speaking of Frankie B - You mentioned that he and I will be working closely together which is just fine with me as always. But what's with him parading around all the time in just a scanty towel wrapped around his waist? ... and his matching head band is a nice touch, too. You know what I mean - THE RICKY RICARDO LOOK .... We all know he's our primo statistician and systems analyst but he's distracting the crew.... especially Spark. We can't have this, Kaptain. Not good for concentration. So for Chrissakes tell Pretty Boy with his fine Italian ass and 6 pack of abdominals and chiseled back and legs and long waivy hair and piercing hazel eyes and cleft chin and high cheek bones --- Well ... just tell him to quit flaunting it so much ... OK? ( Spark asked me to tell you that )



"LA CRUISA NOSTRA" - Wally's idea, and it has a nice ring to it . It means "Our Voyage" - I felt the need to translate for you ... you know ... you being from Oklahoma and all ... (~wink~)


Question from RJ : "are we checking VISA's, Green Cards, and Passports upon boarding?? "

RJ - no, that wont be necessary but we do have a firm ( but not set in stone ) policy about hand guns, brass knuckles, baseball bats and Colombian Neckties.


The Bankroll : Karl you'll need to hire an outfit to set up our off shore accounts so when the money starts tumbling in we are bullet proof from any pains in the ass tax collectors. I've taken the liberty of engaging the Law Firm of " DEWEY, CHEATUM, and HOWE" They'll want to meet with you next week and you guys will finalize the arrangements.


Computers : We need an across the board upgrade of all equipment - in all 3 ships. You know how touchy Frank can be when there are any delays in information gathering. Remember the Don Best Run - Line Incident and he absolutely trashed our mess hall ? Enough said.



Security : We need to cut costs up and down the line. The Tattaglia Family, I must admit, has been most effective but as you are well aware they want 15% of the profits ... of all 3 ships. I say screw them ... I can get the Provenzano Lanza family out of Red Hook Brooklyn for a flat fee. Saves us a fortune. Come to think of it ... they're in Cold Cuts too. I'll get on the horn with them this afternoon.



Beverages : The Nuzzoleze Family is 2nd to none. Reliable and Reasonable. In addition to the booze they'll supply ice too. One Stop Shopping. And here's something cool ... when we have our new member induction ceremony I want Ice Molds of all the faces of our new members. Nuzzoleze is a genius when it comes to the shaving and sculptoring of ice and ice related goods.



Medical and Dental: LoveDoc runs the Medical and I'll do the Dental. He'll do all the blood testing for every female visitor and I'll make sure their teeth are not too sharp. Just dont ask me what you should do if your teeth are turning yellow - I'll advise you to wear a brown neck tie. And we'll require a live - in Psychiatrist too. Preferably a red headed full figured female with gigantic YABOs. Good for morale. Hmmmm ... on 2nd thought we'll need two ... See if you can hire twins... Shiizophrenics ... then we'll have 4 .. you see ? now THAT'S COST CUTTING AT IT's VERY BEST.


So our plate is full and I suggest we get to work ... lots to do before the 1st week in April.

Talk with you soon !!

[ChuckLazar]

You guys are great, congrats Rwall and Doc. I just hope Frank doesn't bring any of those hot babes that he showed me. If he does you better get Hepatitis shots and shrubbing to them before they board. I hate to see anything happen to your "Big Bats".
I'm Greek, Slovanian and German, my wifes Irish and Italian, so I send over some free samples of food. I bet you'd like Greek Spaghetti. It has pasta, butter, parmasian cheese, and more butter.
This should be a fun Baseball season ahead, I can't wait!

[Kaptain]

Coverboy-- et. al.

You made the Kaptain realize we needs a lot more getting organized than I thought......

rwall--lovedoc--Paco--bhs4Life--cowboys-- coming aboard is gonna puts areal test on the Kapt...all ready looking in to 3 Complete Computers---direct line to Dunkel Index--and 3 ea 36" monitors....Large screen is when we're viewing Waynes Pics Section...

Regarding the Visa/Passport talk, the Old Kaptain gots his ways of getting around requirements of that kind

Thanks for the translation for La Cruisa Nostra...didn't learn that one in the bayous of Louisiana...Appreciate your offering some of your contacts (regarding food)--but something tells me they are of Italian descent...With bloodlines of German--Irish--Cajun--Espanol--Scottish---not to mention Greek--Slovanian (whats that---a new sandwich)--..

Seems like you've got plenty of Medical/Dental help aboard....I'll keep the Optometrist (eye Dr on our ship for ItsBill)...you guys will be sailing on your own...You/FrankB plot the course---you guys lay it out---the Kaptain will stay aboard his other ships---cause, as you know---the Sports seasons overlap....

I'll try and talk to Frank about his skimpy outfits--wraparound towel---advertising those tight cheeks and Abs---and yes---I've noticed when he's aboard---Spark just can't seem to concentrate...know what you mean...I believe when rwall comes aboard, brings Woolmah and Baahbarah along---Frank won't get the attention he has in the past...

Gots the Offshore accts hooked up (8) of em---we should get good lines--have acct set up in Switzerland---and a contract with Loomis/Fargo security...

we cantz afford a helicopter right now---maybe after the (baseball) seasons over--until then---we'll use 460CC hydro boat the kaptain has...It'll get us to and fro---pretty fast...

gotz to go now---appears a lot of people depending on the Old Kaptain...should be a lots of fun and good sailing....any one else (better be thick skinned) wanting to come aboard...state so....Lazar Man---we could use your bright beam on the way...Course once you sail with these clowns---your reputaion may be shot

[Spark]

Looks like you have all the bases(no pun intended) covered CB .. hahahaha One thing if I could add .. I think all females going on-board should to be strip-searched by the First Mates .. You never know what and WHERE they may be hiding weapons and drugs ...

I like the security issue cause we do not want any crew members sleeping with the fishes .. Please always remember that is top priority ...

I do remember when i was choking on that damn mozzarella cheese and Frank came to my rescue with the Heimlich maneuver ... When he was performing that maneuver I told him I would give him an half hour to stop what he was doing ... hahahaha roflmfao ...

Guys, lets have a great baseball season ... and thanks

[caper]

rwall, for a little added activity march Baahbara (while in hip waders) to the edge of a cliff or high roof...she'll tend to back up rather forcefully, to your heightened enjoyment/pleasure...umm, just a theory...ng