It's Official!!! God Hates the Cubs

[TheRook]

I stole Dimers line on that one...but it fits. He texted me, and I will copy this from what I read.


Get ready to cringe, fellas. From the Cubs official site,
...outfielder Felix Pie missed a couple of days early because of a twisted testicle.
Ouch.


At first I didn't believe it...but there it was on the offical cubs site. Bottom paragraph.

http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/art...=.jsp&c_id=chc



I think I may offically give up now.

[wayne1218]

If your season hinges on Felix Pie, you are in trouble anyway!

Soriano out too. Only 5 days for a broken finger?

[TheRook]

If your season hinges on Felix Pie, you are in trouble anyway!

Soriano out too. Only 5 days for a broken finger?

LOL...I know. But come on...first it's the relief pitcher that got the shit kicked out of him at a convienence store, then DeRosa had a heart attack, Ramierez has shoulder problems, and now Pie gets a twisted TESTICLE!!!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?

[KazDog]

If your season hinges on Felix Pie, you are in trouble anyway!

Soriano out too. Only 5 days for a broken finger?

Maybe Soriano's broken finger is related to Pie's twisted testicle....

KAZ

[wayne1218]

The 2 emails you sent at 4 pm yesterday came through today rook. I'm not sure what is going on but ever since i switched from Adelphia to Time Warner, weird shit happens once in awhile.

[kbsooner21]

Cubs Rule!!!

[TheRook]

The 2 emails you sent at 4 pm yesterday came through today rook. I'm not sure what is going on but ever since i switched from Adelphia to Time Warner, weird shit happens once in awhile.

Very strange. But i'm glad you got em finally.

I will send emails to your yahoo too just in case.

[TheRook]

Maybe Soriano's broken finger is related to Pie's twisted testicle....

KAZ

You might be right....lol

[Chado1]

Maybe Soriano's broken finger is related to Pie's twisted testicle....

KAZ

LMAO now thats funny right there...

[Kaptain]

KazDog

Maybe Soriano's broken finger is related to Pie's twisted testicle....

KAZ

There were some wittnesses that said Soriano, who is considered a Dr of sorts in his own country, was last heard saying, "Now turn your head and cough"......maybe there's something to this club house tom foolery, after all, it is the CUBS....

[jcindaville]

I hope the Cubs lose today

[musclemann]

Maybe Soriano's broken finger is related to Pie's twisted testicle....

KAZ

you know it is. he plays for the blue skirt ladies

[GrandPa]

I think Steve Bartman may have something to do with all of this

[PhilJr]

I hope the Cubs lose today

They won, but I think they are still officially eliminated from the playoffs

[bryce]

Maybe its what you need ROOK ever hear of a sick TWIST of fate??

See below.

Causes

Injury to the scrotum can initiate a muscle spasm that cause the testicles to twist. Some cases result from inadequate connective tissue that "anchors" the testicle within the scrotum. Many cases are idiopathic (i.e., have no known cause). Many causes can have reactive causes as gay men often experience this. Normally nothing life threatening can come from this. Usually the said perpetrator will experience a broken finger but is usually better within 5 to 7 days.


Signs and Symptoms

Symptoms include the following:

Blood in semen
Lower abdominal pain
Lump in testicle
Nausea and vomiting
Sudden, severe testicular pain, followed by diminishing pain after several hours (after necrosis begins to set in)
Redness of scrotum
Swelling of one testicle
Fingerprint of A.Soriano on testicle


I guess pretty much confirm our thoughts.