Good Morning Spark

[rwall]

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

[rwall]

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty dollars," the dentist says. "That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!" "Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20." "Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much." "Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10." "Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"

[rwall]

An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to
ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are
divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said.
"We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about
this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs
up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like
heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man,
"You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get
there.
I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until
then
don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way!!

[Spark]

Hahaha

[rwall]

Spark Gets Home Early From Work And Hears Strange Noises Coming From The Bedroom. He Rushes Upstairs To Find His Wife Naked On The Bed, Sweating And
Panting.

"what's Up?" He Says:

"i'm Having A Heart Attack," Cries His Wife.

Spark Rushes Downstairs To Grab The Phone, But Just As He's Dialing, His
4-year-old Son Bryan Comes Up And Says "daddy! Daddy! Uncle Homer"s Hiding In Your Closet And
He's Got No Clothes On!"

Spark Slams The Phone Down And Storms Upstairs Into The Bedroom, Past His
Screaming Wife, And Rips Open The Wardrobe Door. Sure Enough, There Is Homer, Totally Naked, Cowering On The Closet Floor.

"you Rotten Sob ," Says Spark:

"my Wife's Having A Heart Attack And You're Running Around Naked Scaring The Kids!"

[Spark]

hahahaha In tears .. roflmfao ... Very Good ....

[The Lovedoc]

hahaha... the truth is, that really did happen..hahaha

[rwall]

A woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, Her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Her husband died. Alas, she finally died.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?” The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”

[rwall]

Spark goes The LoveDoc and says, "Doc, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says LoveDoc, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

[rwall]

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

[rwall]

A white haired, old man named Spark walked into a jeweler's shop late one Friday, with a beautiful young lady on his
side. "I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend", he said.

The jeweler looks through his stock, and takes out an
outstanding ring priced at $5,000. "I don't think you
understand . I want something very unique," Spark said.

At that, the jeweler went and fetched his special stock from
the safe. "Here's one stunning ring at $40,000." The girls'
eyes sparkled, and when Spark said that he would take it.

"How are you paying?" "I'll pay by check, but of course you
would want to make sure that everything is
in order, so I'll write a check and you can phone the
bank tomorrow, then I'll fetch the ring on Monday".

Monday morning a very pissed jeweler phones the man.
"You sorry rascal, you lied! There's no money in that account."

Old man Spark replied, "I know, but can you imagine
what a fantastic weekend I had?"

[rwall]

Enjoy your breakfast......

[rwall]

An older man goes to the Doctor in desire of a ************ for Viagra. The Doctor looks over the man, and says, "Viagra can be very dangerous and we do not just dispense it indiscriminately, Please bring your wife to my office next week and we'll discuss this in more detail. So the following week he shows up with his wife. The Doctor asks to see the wife by herself for a few moments and she follows him back to the examining room. The doctor asks her to disrobe and she does. He then asks her to turn around in 360 degrees a few times then instructs her to get up on the examining table and to turn in various positions. He then tells her she can get dressed and goes out to meet the Male Patient. "Sir," The Doctor Says, "There is nothing wrong with you, I couldn't get an erection either.

[Spark]

hahahaha I was wondering what Happened to the jokes .. I was starting to feel left out ... haha Thanks

[Lsufan]

Good Morning Pappy!!!

Our beloved Modfather, Spark, lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Spark goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit, smoke a cigar, listen to music, ponder his MLB plays, and reflect on his long life. One evening, Mildred, age 86, wanders into the garden.

They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Spark turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Spark says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for awhile."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood, and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Spark's penis.

Then, one night, Spark didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Spark and make sure he was OK.

She walked around the senior citizen's home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Spark's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! - What does Ethel have that I don't have?"





Old Spark smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's!"