Good Morning Spark

[rwall]

Spark,
This thread is for you. I will try to post one new joke for you to read every morning with your cup of coffee or metamusil. I hope some of the others who post jokes will do the same. Consider this an "olive branch" for busting your stones regularly.

[Spark]

I will be here rwall ... Just that avatar is good enough to get me going every day .. hahaha Thanks

[RJeremy]

SPARK, you take so much shit buddy. But you take it all so well!!! Man, I have to sneak into the Service Thread just to talk to you sometimes.

[10DimeBry]

SPARK, you take so much shit buddy. But you take it all so well!!! Man, I have to sneak into the Service Thread just to talk to you sometimes.

WTF you talkin about???? I take more shit on this site than 10 Sparks combined. I love it all!!!!!!!

[rwall]

In pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name, Tylenol is Acetaminophen, Advil is Ibuprofen, and so on. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, and announced today that they have settled on Mycoxafloppin.

[rwall]

The first was short so here's another....

Mrs Spark asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Bacon and eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit, and a cup of fresh coffee?"
Spark declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?"
Again Spark declines. "No, thanks. It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At dinner time, Mrs. Spark asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe and buy him a burger for supper. "Or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or, how about a tasty stir fry? That'll only take a couple of minutes...?"
Once more, the old man declines. "Again, thanks, but it's this Viagra. It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
"Well, then", Mrs. Spark says, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm fucking STARVING!"

[Spark]

hahahaha Bravo .. You did it again rwall .... Thanks my friend .. haha

[rwall]

Kman woke up one morning with an enormous erection so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Wifemann, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, Kman called his little boy, Stuman into the room and asked him to bring it to his wife. The note read:

The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.

Wifemann answered the note and then asked Stuman to bring it to her husband. The note read:

Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.

Tha Kaptain read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked Stuman to bring it to his wife. The note read:

The Tent Pole's Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.

Wifemann answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:

I'm Sure That Your Pole's
The Best In The Land.
But I'm Busy Right Now,
So Do It By Hand!

[Spark]

hahahaha damn, we needed that tonght rwall ... Thanks bravo

[rwall]

This guy is banging a girl, when the girl asks, "You don't have Herpes right?" He replies, "No." She responds, "Oh, thank god for that! I don't want to get it again!"

[rwall]

A retired gentlemen went into the social security office to apply for Social Security.

After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks. The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."

So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too."

[Spark]

hahahaha ...


Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the M A L L? There was a power
>outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.

[rwall]

FATAL THINGS TO SAY IF YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT
============================================

"I finished the Oreos."

"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty
pounds."

"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a
baby..!!"

"I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."

"Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit
from that Richard Simmons fella."

"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard
Scott!"

"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

"Get your *own* ice cream."

"Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

"Got milk ?"

"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

"You don't have the guts to pull the trigger........."

[Spark]

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
>hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
>repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
>some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really
>hard,
>and all the dents would pop out.
>
>So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
>started blowing into her tailpipe.
>
>Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happen.
>
>Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?
>
>The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
>into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate
>rolled
>her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

[rwall]

The blond had been married about a year when
one day she came running up to her husband jumping
for joy. Not knowing how to react, the husband started
jumping up and down along with her.

"Why are we so happy?" he asked.

"Honey, I have some really great news for you!" She
said, "I'm pregnant!"

The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying
for a while.

Then she said "Oh, honey there's more."

"What do you mean more?", he asked.

"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going
to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting
pregnant, he asked her how she knew.

"It was easy" she said, "I went to the pharmacy and
bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit and both
tests came out positive!"