Urgent Please Read/respond!!!! Part 2

[jcindaville]

I thought you had both of us on ignore

Sorry, swamped

[ToDaClub]

PRICELESS




Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Kate, my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an “asshole” . He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So Kate called him a “shit head”. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with "OBAMA 2012 stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

[ToDaClub]

Sorry, swamped

Want me to come down there and cover for you next week? You've witnessed my mad skills!!!

[kbsooner21]

Only mad skills you got are in sweeping driveways

[ToDaClub]

So what does dad think of Chiropractors?

[kbsooner21]

So what does dad think of Chiropractors?

Witch doctors

If I do end up going, no way I'll tell him

[ToDaClub]

That's what I thought


How about this.....



HAVELOCK, N.C. -- Police say a North Carolina man is dead after he accidentally drank from a jar of gasoline and then smoked a cigarette.

Havelock police received a 911 call about 9:55 p.m. Monday after 43-year-old Gary Allen Banning set himself on fire. Banning was transported to UNC Burn Center in Chapel Hill, where he died early Tuesday morning.

City spokeswoman Diane Miller said investigators believe Banning was at a friend's apartment when he apparently mistook a jar of gasoline sitting by the kitchen sink for a beverage. After taking a gulp, he spit the gas out and got some on his clothes.

Sometime later, investigators say Banning went outside to smoke a cigarette and burst into flame.

Havelock police and the city fire marshal are continuing their investigation.

[kbsooner21]

How fucking drunk was he?

[ToDaClub]

Want me to come down there and cover for you next week? You've witnessed my mad skills!!!

Here is what I can do, after your boss tells me how great I am at picking players for the masters,

Someone calls for an estimate, I say send me a blueprint and I will have you an estimate in a couple hours.

Two days later I give them an estimate Cost x 400% plus change orders.

If they hire us(thats you and I) I tell them we will be there in the morning, and then not show up.

When they call, I will say we needed payment in advance.

Then I tell them we will show up the next day. When we don't show I tell them we had to make sure the check cleared.

By then you'll be back!

[ToDaClub]

How fucking drunk was he?

Obviously not the brightest bulb.

[BettorsChat]

A survey called the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index reveals which states are happiest. The index includes questions about six types of well-being, including overall evaluation of their lives, emotional health, physical health, healthy behaviors (such as whether a person smokes or exercises), and job satisfaction.

Here are the 50 U.S. states in order of their well-being scores, which are out of 100 points.

1. Hawaii: 70.2
2. North Dakota: 70.0 (Move to North Dakota, freeze your ass off and be happy about it!!!)
3. Minnesota: 69.2
4. Utah: 69.0
5. Alaska: 69.0
6. Colorado: 68.4
7. Kansas: 68.4
8. Nebraska: 68.3
9. New Hampshire: 68.2
10. Montana: 68.0
11. South Dakota: 67.8
12. Vermont: 67.7
13. Maryland: 67.6
14. Virginia: 67.4
15. Iowa: 67.4
16. Massachusetts: 67.4
17. California: 67.3
18. Washington: 67.3
19. Connecticut: 67.2
20. Oregon: 67.1
21. Wyoming: 66.9
22. Wisconsin: 66.9
23. Idaho: 66.9
24. New Mexico: 66.8
25. Maine: 66.7
26. Arizona: 66.6
27. Texas: 66.4
28. Georgia: 66.3
29. New Jersey: 66.2
30. North Carolina: 66.1
31. Pennsylvania: 66.0
32. Illinois: 65.9
33. South Carolina: 65.7
34. New York: 65.7
35. Rhode Island: 65.6
36. Louisiana: 65.5
37. Michigan: 65.3
38. Oklahoma: 65.1(Was thinking this state would be lower)
39. Indiana: 65.1
40. Nevada: 65.0
41. Tennessee: 65.0
42. Florida: 64.9
43. Missouri: 64.8
44. Arkansas: 64.7
45. Alabama: 64.6
46. Ohio: 64.5
47. Delaware: 64.2
48. Mississippi: 63.4
49. Kentucky: 63.3(No wonder JC is such a grump!!!)
50. West Virginia: 62.3


It also appears the south is still a little pissed off about losing the war, with the exception of Ohio and Deleware, the bottom 10 are southern states and are pissed about everything except the SEC

Have to disagree that Oklahoma is too far down on the list. Arkansas could be lower.

[kbsooner21]

Have to disagree that Oklahoma is too far down on the list. Arkansas could be lower.

Who the fuck is this guy?

[kbsooner21]

Morning all Tiger lovers, Dale Jr haters, and married suckers

[ToDaClub]

Morning Tiger lovers, Dale Jr lovers, marriage lovers, and Chicago Cub lovers....

[vols fan]

My asshole is throwing up like crazy. I don't think I will ever shit a solid turd again