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Urgent Please Read/respond!!!! Part 2

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  • ToDaClub
    replied
    Originally posted by baseballdave View Post
    A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text...



    "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.



    If you are laughing, send me your smile.



    If you are eating, send me a bite.



    If you are drinking, send me a sip.



    If you are crying, send me your tears.



    I love you."





    He replied..."I'm on the toilet…What should I do?"


    LMFAO!!!!

    Leave a comment:


  • baseballdave
    replied
    A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text...



    "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.



    If you are laughing, send me your smile.



    If you are eating, send me a bite.



    If you are drinking, send me a sip.



    If you are crying, send me your tears.



    I love you."





    He replied..."I'm on the toilet…What should I do?"

    Leave a comment:


  • kbsooner21
    replied


    Good jokes lately Club

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  • ToDaClub
    replied
    Morning gents





    I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar.

    Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland ?"

    One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"

    So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland ?"

    And that's the last thing I remember.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ldawg
    replied
    Originally posted by 10DimeBry View Post
    What up peeps?
    Good job thread killer ....

    Leave a comment:


  • 10DimeBry
    replied
    What up peeps?

    Leave a comment:


  • kbsooner21
    replied
    Hey all

    Leave a comment:


  • ToDaClub
    replied
    Morning Joe, morning guys.

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  • Spark
    replied
    Morning Everyone

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  • Ldawg
    replied
    Originally posted by ToDaClub View Post
    Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!

    The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.


    My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

    I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

    After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, “Fuck it, soldier on!”

    I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.


    The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

    My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
    "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"


    A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.

    I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
    OMG Funny stuff club ... congrats on hanging in there for 30 long years ! You are probably lucky, like me (33/35 and counting) no one else would put up with us for that long...
    congrats
    Last edited by Ldawg; 02-04-2013, 10:13 PM.

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  • kbsooner21
    replied
    Originally posted by ToDaClub View Post
    No she never buys me flowers. Damm, she's lucky I keep her around.

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  • ToDaClub
    replied
    No she never buys me flowers. Damm, she's lucky I keep her around.

    Leave a comment:


  • kbsooner21
    replied
    You get those flowers yet

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  • ToDaClub
    replied
    Probably wasn't the nicest thing to post on my 30th anniversary

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  • kbsooner21
    replied

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