The 12 Most Annoying Things Sports Services Do

[Spark]

The 12 Most Annoying Things Sports Services Do

1. Abuse of the American Language. They are guilty of crimes against the dictionary. Two words in particular are misunderstood with amazing regularity. It must be a learning disorder or something. None of these Bozo's are able to comprehend the meaning of the words "Absolutely" and "Free." They advertise a "Game Of The Year," "The Season Package," or a "Lock Of The Century" ABSOLUTELY FREE! Of course when you call, nothing is free.

2. Number two. That's what most of these guys are full of. Number two.

3. They run ads hyping ridiculous, intelligence insulting records like 183 and 24 followed by the words "fully documented." But they never tell you who did the documentation. The Tooth Fairy would be my guess. Possibly Santa. Maybe their mommies. If you check with the only two barely legitimate monitoring services in the country, even they will confirm that these are bald faced lies.

4. When you call no one can ever talk to you. They need your name address and phone number for some reason. Better to hound and badger you with my dear. My, what big teeth you have grandma. Don't take the bait, hang up.

5. They want to know how much you can move on a game. Like we're talking about furniture here, and not hard earned cash. They need to know this so they can figure out how much to overcharge you for those bogus games they want you to buy.

6. After you buy the season package for several thousand dollars, they immediately start to offer you special games for even more dough. Hundreds, sometimes more than a thousand a pop. These games are not included in the package you bought they say. Funny they never mentioned that before they maxed out one of your credit cards.

7. Your salesman is always trying to make you play way over your head. Seems like an awfully strange money management scheme to me. Bet more than you can afford, then leave town if you lose.

8. After you've been sufficiently crucified, and you're dead in the water, your salesman doesn't seem to want to talk to you anymore. While the green was flowing, he was your best buddy. Now you're in deep trouble. He doesn't phone, he doesn't write.

9. Bottom feeders from all corners of the globe seem to know your name and number. They call at all hours and they all say the same thing. "How have your games been doing?" Try answering this way. "Much better since I started banging your mother thank you."

10. Magical things begin to start happening. Garbage mysteriously starts filling your mailbox. You can't believe the amount of trash. The mailman starts to look at you funny and your wife starts plotting your death.

11. You watch the show on Saturday morning. The guy says he was 6-0, so you call. You go 1-5. Next week you turn on the show. Guy says he went 6-0.

12. Many of the biggest names in the industry run multiple services out of one building or location. I'm talking as many as 15 or more. They pass your name around like a hot potato. Opposite siding, fraud, and theft run rampant. These people can really put a hurting on you. Just keep this in mind and you'll be OK. Serial Killers generally have more integrity than your average dishonest sports tout, and are more trustworthy too. You'd be better off with O.J. Simpson Sports. How about this one… KILL YOUR MAN! JEFFREY DHAMER SPORTS WILL EAT HIM ALIVE! Every time they lie to you, call them on it. Don't take any shit. Stand up for yourself. Keep your eyes peeled and your ears open. Beware strangers bearing empty promises. Place both hands firmly on your wallet, and hold tight. It’s Hunting Season, and you are the prey. Aren’t they going to be surprised when they realize Bambi is packing an Uzi this year.

[Spark]

Want More??


1. Give out their plays early in the day, based on non-existent lines that nobody who actually gambles ever got. Then, call the winners and losers off those lines.

2. Don’t play their own games, but expect you to.

3. Give out games that are not even on the board, or worse, give out their plays for the entire weekend on Friday. How can you be a Late Phone Service and give out your plays on Friday? The team plane could crash, the quarterback could die, there could be a blizzard, a hurricane, or an earthquake, or all the starters could come down with the Bubonic Plague?!?

4. Claim Stevie Z. is their son. Right Don?

5. Invent ten or more counterfeit services. Make up ten fake names for ten little salesmen. Set up ten cubicles with ten telephones in a run down basement a.k.a. boiler-room. Start calling people and promising them the moon. Give out every side and total of every game. Pass around the customer list like the canoli tray at an Italian Wedding. Burn lots of plastic. Keep passing those names around. Lie, Lie, Lie. You the player, dangle like a marionette on a Merry-Go Round, hemorrhaging red and bleeding green until it all comes crashing down. You’re broke but you’ve learned your lesson. Maybe.

6. Have thirty, count em THIRTY 900 numbers, plus a Late Phone Service, Junior’s Late Phone Service (sound familiar Mark?) a Newsletter, and a Website, all giving out different picks. The upside? Somebody’s always winning. The downside? It’s probably not you.

7. Advocating mass suicide. Encouraging customers to play Round Robins and Parlays. "You can bet everything you own on this 4 teamer" the ad screams. Sure, and Jenna Jameson is frigid. Ask yourself this. What does your bookie do if he gets overloaded with action on either side of a game? If he’s smart, he lays off a portion to reduce his exposure if the over-bet side comes in. Now, what does he do with every parlay, reverse, teaser, and robin he gets? He holds it. He can’t wait to take it. He’d pay you to get him more. Why? Because he knows that these are sucker bets for squares only, and that the odds are stacked incredibly high against you. No self respecting wiseguy, would be caught dead or alive playing one of those things. Neither should you.

8. The salesman signs you up for the entire season at a flat rate price, and on the very first day tries to sell you additional games at two or three hundred a pop, informing you that the games you originally bought are worthless garbage. If you think this doesn’t happen, then you haven’t been around. If you let it happen after having read this, you’re an idiot.

9. You go to purchase a big game on some Clown’s 900 number, and right there on the tape, they try to talk you into calling another hideous 900 number for an even bigger game.

10. Here’s one I love, the Screamers are famous for it. You call the guy’s 900 hundred number and buy a game for 25 bucks, and it loses. Next day the cocksucker’s telling the world it won. Call the office to complain, and they’ll tell you the games on the 900 number suck, the good stuff costs much more. Finer and Duffy were famous for that one.

11. They advertise "The Full Season Package" or a "Game of The Century" ABSOLUTELY FREE, and then do the Lambada, The Macarena, and Patrick Swayze’s complete routine from "Dirty Dancing" when you call them on it.

And Finally... They say things like "I Swear to God" or "Trust Me" or even worse "How much can you move on a game?" Reply with "Go To Hell," "Drop Dead" and "I Move Furniture Not Money."

[Spark]

SpotThe Fraud

Every year the serious sports player finds himself deluged with sports service advertisements promising the world on a silver platter. How do you, the gambler, weed out the scamsters from the honest handicappers? Well, it’s damn hard if you don’t know what to look for. In my 22 years of gambling, I’ve learned a few things “the hard way” and I’d like to share with you some of my methods of “Spotting the Fraud”. My theory works on a simple principal. If a company is willing to lie to you in their print advertisements, then they’ll lie to you in person. You cannot trust them. Avoid any service that does any of the following.



Any service that advertises a winning percentage of over 62%, long term is LYING TO YOU, stay away.



Whenever you see an add for a 900 number selling Wise-guy Games, Syndicate Plays, or Late Money Moves, quickly go to the bottom of the page, look for the small print that tells you what time the 900 number is updated. If they post their selections before 12 noon, and most of these greedy bastards will be up and running by 9AM, then you’ve caught them. Gotcha! Anybody with real “hotside” information would never post that early, because the smart money usually comes in late.



Any Sports Service that claims to have a network of scouts is full of giant globs of Weasel Vomit.



Any selector who claims to have information on a “fixed,” “control,” or “black satchel” game is yanking your chain. History tells us that fixed games do happen. We’ve all read about people who have gone to jail for shaving points. Never in history has any sports service ever been implicated in any such scam. What does that tell you? If the fix is really in, the people who arranged it are busy betting and keeping their mouths shut. A service selling a fix would be committing a serious federal crime. Any sports service operator legitimately selling fixed games would find himself wearing an orange jumpsuit with silver arm bracelets in no time flat. Be smart, avoid like the plague anyone who offers you a dirty game. You’re about to get hosed.



If you see the words “documented” in an ad, but nothing about who, if anyone, did the documentation, be afraid, be very afraid.



Without exception avoid those who claiming to offer “The Full Season Package ABSOLUTELY FREE.” These are blatantly false ads. Don’t bother calling. It’s all bullshit. Nothing is free. You’re just gonna get aggravated. In fact, avoid any service that uses the phrase “absolutely free” it’s generally big lie number one.



If you respond to a big game promo from a printed ad, and no-one will talk you unless you give them your phone number and or address, for god sakes hang up. If you don’t you’ll be sorry. Boiler room scam artists will hound you by phone until you are forced to change your number. Your mailbox will be stuffed with garbage for years to come. Your mailman will start to eyeball you in a peculiar way.



Then there’s the postage test. Be wary of any selector offering game of the year selections in a monthly or weekly schedule or flyer. Use your head. Look at the postmark. Now add a minimum of 4-5 days needed to compose and get the flyer printed. Write down the date. If the scamdicapper is selling big game selections in the Big Dance before the match-ups are even known, or a baseball “game of the month” before anyone knows who’s pitching, you’ve done it. You’ve just spotted the fraud. I like to go all the way to the last few pages of my bogus schedule to see who’s selling his game of the century a month in advance. The entire team could die in a plane crash or be suspended. How about weather? What about injuries? No-one even has a clue what the line will be. Only one thing is certain. These people are sure that you are very stupid. You are an idiot and you will give them your money. That’s what they think of you. They call you a fish. Surprise them, spot the fraud, be a shark and don’t call.



Avoid any service that is just a little too anxious to recommend a particular off shore bookmaker. Chances are he’s got his hand in two pockets. The bookmaker is your enemy. He’s not supposed to know what you’re going to play.



Trust your instincts. If it smells like a rat, crawls like a rat, and looks like a rat, then it’s probably not an elephant. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. If you purchase a season package from a tout service, they should be willing give a guarantee, in writing, that no salesman will ever call to sell special or additional games for more money. If they won’t do it…run for the hills and keep your wallet in your pocket.



The guys that call you up and say…”How have you been doing with your games” are generally Boiler Room salesmen with holes in their shoes, usually operating from Florida, while claiming to be out west. Unless you are a fond of snake oil…stay away.



Any Service claiming to be owned and operated by a has-been coach or athlete is generally a front for a boiler room. This “Shill” took his money, usually between 50 and 100 grand, and ran. The leaches in the basement trade off “the name” so you, “the mark” will believe you’ll be getting information from an NFL or college insider. What you’re really getting is the shaft. Believe me.



You should give anyone who says to you “How much can you move on a game” a piece of your mind. As if we’re not talking about hard earned money here. If they try to get you to bet over your head, they’re trying to hurt you. Protect yourself. Don’t be afraid to tell these assholes off. The single most important factor in learning to play smart, is wagering within your means. If some evil bastard tries to talk you into making some huge bet on one of his flea bag games, don’t be afraid, let the prick have it. Both barrels. Any game can lose.



And finally, let’s face it. The reason the bottom feeders of this industry continue to prosper is greed. John Q Public wants to believe in fairy tales. He doesn’t want to hear about winning results over time. He wants mortal locks. He wants Cigar games. He wants a sure thing. And it doesn’t exist. Don’t buy dreams. Dreams die hard. You’ll wind up living a nightmare you can’t wake up from. Be smart. Watch your back, and don’t fall prey again this year.

[jcindaville]

They(scammers) take your hard earned money and give you more losers than winners. Hell i will do that for you for nothing.

[Bill the Thrill]

My two cents:
They align themselves with casino's (direct conflict of interest) thus making themselves a whore (Mr. N. Coast)

[Kaptain]

good write up Spark----kapt