Joke

[savage1]

Teacher Arrested


At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide
rule, and a calculator.


At a morning press conference, Attorney General Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.


Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzales said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'
and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used
to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."


When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes"

[TwoTonTony]

Teacher Arrested


At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide
rule, and a calculator.


At a morning press conference, Attorney General Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.


Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzales said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'
and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used
to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."


When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes"

i love ya buddy....but that joke was terrible!!!

[savage1]

i love ya buddy....but that joke was terrible!!!

Try this one then:

CUTE JOKES FOR THE OLDER CROWD

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know,

"that the medication you prescribed has

to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,

"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition

because this ************ is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

-----------------------------------------

An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table

awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,

a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia

he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son;

do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,

if something happens to me,

your mother is going to come

and live with you and your wife...."

-----------------------------------------

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you

stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

------------------------------------------

The older we get, the fewer things seem

worth waiting in line for.

------------------------------------------

Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and some of the

roads weren't paved.

--------------------------------------------

When you are dissatisfied and would

like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

---------------------------------------------

You know you are getting old when everything

either dries up or leaks.

----------------------------------------------

I don't know how I got over the hill

without getting to the top.

----------------------------------------------

One of the many things no one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change from being young.

----------------------------------------------

Ah, being young is beautiful,

but being old is comfortable.

-----------------------------------------------

Old age is when former classmates are so gray

and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

----------------------------------------------

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,

you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

--------------------------------------

First you forget names, then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper

It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

-------------------------------------------

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground

with sticks, it was called witchcraft..

Today, it's called golf.

[TwoTonTony]

it kind of reminds me of a joke about this old guy who goes to the dr. and the dr. asks him why is he here...."he says it has to do with my bowel movements"...the dr. proceeds to ask him a series of questions about how regular he is going and he responds, "I go every day at 8 a.m."....the doctor is perplexed and asks, " that is very regular...i do not see a problem".....the older gent replies, "but i do not wake up until 9"

[savage1]

it kind of reminds me of a joke about this old guy who goes to the dr. and the dr. asks him why is he here...."he says it has to do with my bowel movements"...the dr. proceeds to ask him a series of questions about how regular he is going and he responds, "I go every day at 8 a.m."....the doctor is perplexed and asks, " that is very regular...i do not see a problem".....the older gent replies, "but i do not wake up until 9"

Nice!