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THE RETIREMENT BONUS
> If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humour impaired!
>
>
> The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
> early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
> retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
> between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those
> two points would be.
>
>
> The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
> his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
> out with a bonus of $72,000.
>
>
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
> measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
> with $96,000.
>
>
> The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,
> when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my
> weenie to my testicles."
> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
> explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had
> received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him
> providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
> The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which
> he did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
> Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed,
> "Where are your testicles?"
> The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."
> If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humour impaired!
>
>
> The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
> early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
> retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
> between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those
> two points would be.
>
>
> The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
> his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
> out with a bonus of $72,000.
>
>
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
> measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
> with $96,000.
>
>
> The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,
> when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my
> weenie to my testicles."
> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
> explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had
> received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him
> providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
> The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which
> he did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
> Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed,
> "Where are your testicles?"
> The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."
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