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This is a little lengthy, but I gaurantee you it is well worth it. All the talk about Nascar going on and now that I am living in Texas, I have to tell all of you just what is it like to be me for a single day:
Sunday, like any other I get up and do my routine of getting ready for work as I am traditionally late for of couse because I was up all night putting together reports from the labs I'd done the past week. Nevertheless, head off to work (chain resturant where I serve and bartend), this particular Sunday I'm serving. Like any other Sunday except with the little fact directly the opposite of groundhogs day where we wait for him to pop out, I'm dreading the IDIOTS that will show there head with the upcoming race on the television.
As some of you may know already, most resturants have a set of "regulars" that come in on almost a daily basis to eat or drink and converse for several hours. We are no exceptions and have quite a group of them. Although they bring steady income to the resturant, they usually take advantage of the service and are a pain in the ass to listen to because they are "special" in the resturant, or they think.
I go about my day, the boys and I are goofing around talking about the idiots that actually think this shit is a sport, yadda yadda. Jeannie, the bartender, (name may sound familiar to my cajun bastage buddy LSUfan
Bwahahahhaaa!) overhears up and decides to chime in for a little comment and a meager attempt to savage the name of this "activity" that is taking place. "My daddy watches Nascar are you saying he's an idiot?" I kindly take the time to deny that allogation and procede by explaining that I, myself, Tigger enjoy a great race. I love speed and even the occasional nice car, but it's not this that we are making fun of. I then explained to her that it's not the race, but the fucking idiots you have to hang out with and listen to while you're watching the race that I can't stand. Just to protect my sports, so she didn't backlash at those, I said, "I'm not saying that there are no idiots in football or basketball, believe me there are plenty. It just seems that per capita there appears to be more present in Nascar than any other sport and Texas seems to have a monopoly on all of them" She left and went back behind the bar and things went back to normal.
An hour later, it happened....... I was retrieving a drink from the bar where Jeannie and I had engaged in some lovely conversation when I saw a golden opportunity with the regulars wrapped around the bar and the drivers pulling into pit road. I stopped her in mid sentence to prove my point...... I asked her to watch the next 25 seconds of the race and listen, "It was bound to happen" (And like some moron in a grocery store checking out a snickers bar with a credit card, IT DID HAPPEN!!!)
Just like any systematic pit stop tires were changed, gas was refueled and the windshield was cleaned and then one could hear the most ignorant thing I think I've ever heard in my life bellow from an on-looker sitting around the bar (a regular). With the most seriously voice he could muster in his drunken stooper, as if Billy-Ray in the pit crew could hear him.... I hear, "Come on, Get that car back on the track" as he cheers on the two men helping to push the car back onto pit road as it tears out the block.........
There was silence as Jeannie turned around and caught my eyes looking back. "Now tell me Jeannie, there are not more idiots in Nascar than any other sport? Al, the regular, actually believes that Billy Ray and Joe Bob made a difference in the speed that the car was hurled back on pit road with. Not only does Al think they "helped", but the two guys on the pit crew believe they made a difference or they wouldn't be doing it. You mean to tell me that a car with about 600ft/lbs of rear wheel torque, and over 750 horsepower needed help from two men that can't gather enough force as to push a piano up a Uhaul ramp? You're telling me that this vehicle that has so much power that it could rip the tires off the rims needed Dipping Don and Spitton Sam for the push start? The two men don't add up to 1/20 of a single horsepower, but they're gonna make it happen?"
Like a light from heaven barrelled down upon her, she began to see.
And that my friends is why I can't stand to watch Nascar..... it's the idiots you have to listen to and watch that ruin it for the rest of the educated people.
~~~ Tigger
Sunday, like any other I get up and do my routine of getting ready for work as I am traditionally late for of couse because I was up all night putting together reports from the labs I'd done the past week. Nevertheless, head off to work (chain resturant where I serve and bartend), this particular Sunday I'm serving. Like any other Sunday except with the little fact directly the opposite of groundhogs day where we wait for him to pop out, I'm dreading the IDIOTS that will show there head with the upcoming race on the television.
As some of you may know already, most resturants have a set of "regulars" that come in on almost a daily basis to eat or drink and converse for several hours. We are no exceptions and have quite a group of them. Although they bring steady income to the resturant, they usually take advantage of the service and are a pain in the ass to listen to because they are "special" in the resturant, or they think.
I go about my day, the boys and I are goofing around talking about the idiots that actually think this shit is a sport, yadda yadda. Jeannie, the bartender, (name may sound familiar to my cajun bastage buddy LSUfan
Bwahahahhaaa!) overhears up and decides to chime in for a little comment and a meager attempt to savage the name of this "activity" that is taking place. "My daddy watches Nascar are you saying he's an idiot?" I kindly take the time to deny that allogation and procede by explaining that I, myself, Tigger enjoy a great race. I love speed and even the occasional nice car, but it's not this that we are making fun of. I then explained to her that it's not the race, but the fucking idiots you have to hang out with and listen to while you're watching the race that I can't stand. Just to protect my sports, so she didn't backlash at those, I said, "I'm not saying that there are no idiots in football or basketball, believe me there are plenty. It just seems that per capita there appears to be more present in Nascar than any other sport and Texas seems to have a monopoly on all of them" She left and went back behind the bar and things went back to normal.An hour later, it happened....... I was retrieving a drink from the bar where Jeannie and I had engaged in some lovely conversation when I saw a golden opportunity with the regulars wrapped around the bar and the drivers pulling into pit road. I stopped her in mid sentence to prove my point...... I asked her to watch the next 25 seconds of the race and listen, "It was bound to happen" (And like some moron in a grocery store checking out a snickers bar with a credit card, IT DID HAPPEN!!!)
Just like any systematic pit stop tires were changed, gas was refueled and the windshield was cleaned and then one could hear the most ignorant thing I think I've ever heard in my life bellow from an on-looker sitting around the bar (a regular). With the most seriously voice he could muster in his drunken stooper, as if Billy-Ray in the pit crew could hear him.... I hear, "Come on, Get that car back on the track" as he cheers on the two men helping to push the car back onto pit road as it tears out the block.........
There was silence as Jeannie turned around and caught my eyes looking back. "Now tell me Jeannie, there are not more idiots in Nascar than any other sport? Al, the regular, actually believes that Billy Ray and Joe Bob made a difference in the speed that the car was hurled back on pit road with. Not only does Al think they "helped", but the two guys on the pit crew believe they made a difference or they wouldn't be doing it. You mean to tell me that a car with about 600ft/lbs of rear wheel torque, and over 750 horsepower needed help from two men that can't gather enough force as to push a piano up a Uhaul ramp? You're telling me that this vehicle that has so much power that it could rip the tires off the rims needed Dipping Don and Spitton Sam for the push start? The two men don't add up to 1/20 of a single horsepower, but they're gonna make it happen?"
Like a light from heaven barrelled down upon her, she began to see.
And that my friends is why I can't stand to watch Nascar..... it's the idiots you have to listen to and watch that ruin it for the rest of the educated people.
~~~ Tigger
It's always noon somewhere! 
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