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A woman was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), and passed over a bridge only to find a cop (LSUFan)with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. Jimmy pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
Oh yeah," said the Jimmy, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
Jimmy stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
Well, "she said," I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
:christmas
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
The Look on Jimmy's Face............... PRICELESS
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
Oh yeah," said the Jimmy, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
Jimmy stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
Well, "she said," I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
:christmas
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
The Look on Jimmy's Face............... PRICELESS
It's always noon somewhere! 
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