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    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
    the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
    and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
    programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such asPoker
    Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
    favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
    uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    Thanks,
    A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
    ______________________________________

    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
    is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete
    Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or
    purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
    allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I
    recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest
    installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software
    augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
    ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will
    return to normal anyway.
    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife
    1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,Cook It 1.5
    and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause
    the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way
    to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I
    recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!
    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
    irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support
    ...winning and grinning...
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