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THE MOST FUNNY THING EVER! Chuck Norris - the facts

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  • THE MOST FUNNY THING EVER! Chuck Norris - the facts

    22 Chuck Norris Facts

    1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
    2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
    3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
    4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
    5. Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.
    6. Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
    7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
    8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
    9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
    10. Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
    11. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.


    12. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
    13. Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people
    14. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
    15. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
    16. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
    17. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
    18. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
    19.When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
    20. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
    21. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
    22. When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

    THERE ARE MORE ANYBODY LET ME NOW IF YOU WNT THE OTHERS
    2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
    2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
    2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

  • #2
    lol u a fan or not
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    • #3
      Originally posted by tech fan
      lol u a fan or not
      of what... Chuck?
      2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
      2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
      2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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      • #4
        Those are great Charlie! Keep em coming!

        Fucking Chuck Norris!


        BWHAHAHHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        It's always noon somewhere!

        My Fish and Aquariums

        Griffey's Posted Record

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        • #5
          Originally posted by bhs4life
          of what... Chuck?

          Yeah a big fan myself
          MLB 2012***100-98 +$215 OR +2.15 UNITS
          HUGE PLAYS 2-1

          NFL 2011-2012** 6-10
          0-0TOP PLAYS

          NCAA FBL 2011-2012**** 26-23

          4-1 TOP PLAYS


          GOY 33-12 ALL SPORTS

          AS of 6/3/12

          Comment


          • #6
            Those are hillarious

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            • #7
              Once Gandhi tried to convince Chuck Norris that violence isn’t always the answer. Chuck Norris smiled, then tore out Gandhi’s stomach. Gandhi then fasted for many days.
              2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
              2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
              2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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              • #8
                Before e-mail was invented, chuck norris would attatch messages to kittens and roundhouse them.
                2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
                2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
                2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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                • #9
                  Chuck Norris doesn’t need to shower. Dirt is too scared to touch him.

                  150,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris related accidents every year.

                  Chuck Norris isn’t cool, cool models itself after Chuck Norris.

                  When someone sneezes, God says Chuck Bless you.

                  Chuck Norris knows the secret to world peace, He just thinks its more fun to kill people

                  Someone once told Chuck Norris his hair looked good. He roundhouse kicked him in the face and told him that he made the hair look good.
                  2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
                  2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
                  2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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                  • #10
                    While on a nature trek in Wasington State, Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on a rock and proceeded to deliver the tiny rock a roundhouse. This event is also known as the Mt. St Helens eruption of May 1980.
                    2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
                    2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
                    2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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                    • #11
                      Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
                      2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
                      2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
                      2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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                      • #12
                        lol keep them coming
                        MLB 2012***100-98 +$215 OR +2.15 UNITS
                        HUGE PLAYS 2-1

                        NFL 2011-2012** 6-10
                        0-0TOP PLAYS

                        NCAA FBL 2011-2012**** 26-23

                        4-1 TOP PLAYS


                        GOY 33-12 ALL SPORTS

                        AS of 6/3/12

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
                          2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
                          2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
                          2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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                          • #14
                            Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

                            To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

                            Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
                            2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
                            2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
                            2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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                            • #15
                              A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
                              2007 BCS and 2009 BCS CHAMPS
                              2006 & 2007 NCAA MENS BASKETBALL CHAMPS
                              2008 & 2010 RAYS BASEBALL AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPS

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