Some jokes for the day

[JBC13]

Q. What is the differnce between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

Q. What's a Mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother in law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. Whats the difference between a G spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q. What do tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "oooooooooh" and "aaaaaaaah"?

A. About three inches.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

Q. How do you circumsize a hillbilly?

A. Kick his siter in the jaw.

Q. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

Q. What is the difference between medium and rare?

A. 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

A. They dont have balls to scratch.

[Spark]

[Spark]

[Spark]

[Spark]

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She! has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

[Pitt37]

Funny Shit!!!