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California Driver's License Application

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  • California Driver's License Application

    2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
    Name: ___________________ Stage Name:________________

    Agent: ___________________ Attorney:____________________

    Therapist's Name: _________________

    Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female* [ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female [ ] Both

    Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
    If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
    ________________________________________
    (Use extra pages, if necessary)

    Please check hair color.
    Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
    Teenagers:
    [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue
    [ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________

    Please circle all activities you perform while driving:
    Eating
    Drinking Starbucks coffee
    Applying make-up
    Shaving (male or female)
    Talking on the phone
    Lifting weights
    Slapping kids in the back-seat
    Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
    Tanning
    Snorting cocaine
    Watching TV
    Reading Variety
    Surfing the net via laptop
    Discharging firearms / reloading

    Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
    a) Shoot at other drivers ___ b) Be shot at ___

    If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
    a) Call the police to report the crime.
    b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch
    your car on the news in a high- speed chase.
    c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular
    phone company for your 911 call not going through.
    d) Call your therapist.

    In the event of an earthquake, you should:
    a) Stop your car.
    b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
    c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
    d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

    In the instance of rain, you should:
    a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
    b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
    c) You're not sure what "rain" is.

    Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week:
    ________

    Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
    a) Prozac
    b) Zovirax
    c) Lithium
    d) Zanax
    e) Valium
    f) Medical pot
    g) Zoloft
    h) All of the above
    i) None of the above*

    * If none, please explain: __________________.

    Length of daily commute:
    a) Less than 1 hour*
    b) 1 hour
    c) 2 hours
    d) 3 hours
    e) 4 hours or more

    * If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.

    When stopped by police, you should:
    a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
    b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
    c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to
    attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.

    When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window,
    it means:
    a) Her turn-signals are broken.
    b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
    c) She is drying her nails.

    Which part of your car will wear out first?
    a) The wiper blades
    b) The seat belts
    c) The horn

    Automatic door locks are good for:
    a) Security
    b) Convenience
    c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.

    The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
    a) Dark, poorly lit roads
    b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
    c) Revenge
    Remember the three R's:
    Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
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