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Red Skelton
Subject: RED SKELTON'S TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage,
good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in
Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere
I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread
maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I
bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water
in
the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the
TV?" I
said "Dust!"
I love it.........this is the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........just clean and simple fun!
Subject: RED SKELTON'S TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage,
good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in
Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere
I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread
maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I
bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water
in
the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the
TV?" I
said "Dust!"
I love it.........this is the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........just clean and simple fun!
Are you trying to convert us back to the "old" days? 
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