Jokes for those with Achy Joints

[rwall]

LoveDoc tells his patient Chuck Luck: "Well I have good news and bad news..."

The Chuck says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?"

"You have Alzheimer's disease."

"Good heavens! What's the good news?"

"You can go home and forget about it!"

[ChuckLazar]

I can't take it anymore.......

[rwall]

Last One....
I can't believe I left out the Kapt.

Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook. The first old guy Chuck said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved his morning, I cut my face."

The second old fogey Kapt Kmann one-upped him and said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers."

The third old man Spark laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times!"

Hope you enjoyed them
It was all in good fun. Please do not be offended.
Thanks I had a blast.

[Spark]

Hope you enjoyed them
It was all in good fun. Please do not be offended.
Thanks I had a blast.

On this forum??? Are you serious?? We love it .. Keep em coming .. Laughter is the best medicine .. I enjoyed every one of them ... Thanks rwall, you started my day off with a good laugh ..

[10DimeBry]

That is some funny shit rwall LOL

[kbsooner21]

LOL! Good stuff rwall!

[phonepole]

You Know you're getting old when...


18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

Hey...... I resemble that remark!!!!

[rwall]

Spark went into the social security office to apply for Social Security benefits. After waiting in line a long time, he finally arrived at the counter.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.

He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.

Will I have to go home and come back now? he asks.

The woman says, Unbutton your shirt.

So Spark opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair.

She says, That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me, and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office.

Spark's wife says, You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.

[rwall]

Spark went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.
The pharmacist said, That's no problem. How many do you want?

Spark answered, Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.

The pharmacist said That won't do you any good.

Spark said That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old.

I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes.

[Lsufan]

Spark and Mrs. Spark was lying in bed one night . Spark was falling asleep but Mrs. Spark felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, Spark reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck." Angrily, Spark threw back the bed covers and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. Spark replied, "To get my teeth!"

[Spark]

hahahahahahahaha