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* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. .
* A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You don't have to monitor your friends' love lives.
* Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Old friends don't care whether you've lost or gained weight.
* Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
* You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go.
* You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
* Your last name stays put. .
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
* If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* Flowers fix everything.
* You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
* Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
* You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."
* One mood, all the time.
* You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too dirty.
* Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
* Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.
* You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
* If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
* The remote control is yours and yours alone. .
* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. .
* Your pals can be trusted to never trap you with, "So... notice anything different?"
* A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You don't have to monitor your friends' love lives.
* Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Old friends don't care whether you've lost or gained weight.
* Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
* You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go.
* You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
* Your last name stays put. .
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
* If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* Flowers fix everything.
* You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
* Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
* You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."
* One mood, all the time.
* You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too dirty.
* Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
* Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.
* You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
* If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
* The remote control is yours and yours alone. .
* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. .
* Your pals can be trusted to never trap you with, "So... notice anything different?"
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