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Subject: THIS WOULD BE GREAT
>
> > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR
> > GEORGE W. BUSH OR JOHN KERRY GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
> >
> > My Fellow Americans:
> >
> > As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been
> > completed. Since congress does not want to spend
> > any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
> >
> > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal
> > of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be
> > complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the
> > reckoning.
> >
> > Before me, I have two lists One list contains the names of
> > countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq
> > conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain,
> > Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries
> > listed there.
> >
> > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most
> > of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary
> > will be distributing copies of both lists later this
> > evening.
> >
> > Let me start by saying that effective immediately,
> > foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately
> > and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year
> > alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
> >
> > The American people are no longer going to pour money into
> > third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders
> > grow fat on corruption.
> >
> > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
> > Call France.
> >
> > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to
> > redirect this money toward solving the vexing social
> > problems we still have at home.
> >
> > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations.
> > Screw with us and we will hunt you down and
> > eliminate you and all your friends from the face
> > of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to
> > terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
> >
> > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys.
> > Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David
> > is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for
> > negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
> > tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing of
> > diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia.
> > Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from
> > NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
> >
> > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing
> > the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with
> > more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those
> > vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't
> > care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
> > have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
> > tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos
> > be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the
> > world.
> >
> > I love New York.
> >
> > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List # 2.
> > Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other,
> > you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
> > Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire
> > corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I
> > will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
> > sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em?
> >
> > Yep, border security.
> >
> > So start doing something with your oil.
> >
> > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the
> > NAFTA treaty --- starting now.
> > We are tired of the one-way highway.
> > It is time for America to focus on its own welfare
> > and its own citizens.
> >
> > Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them
> > by saying, "darn tootin."
> >
> > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a
> > decent life around the world has only earned us the
> > undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
> > It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
> > eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to
> > eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.
> >
> > To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks
> > guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on
> > List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
> >
> > God bless America.
> >
> > Thank you and good night.
> >
> > If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are
> > reading it in English, thank a soldier.
>
> > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR
> > GEORGE W. BUSH OR JOHN KERRY GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
> >
> > My Fellow Americans:
> >
> > As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been
> > completed. Since congress does not want to spend
> > any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
> >
> > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal
> > of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be
> > complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the
> > reckoning.
> >
> > Before me, I have two lists One list contains the names of
> > countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq
> > conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain,
> > Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries
> > listed there.
> >
> > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most
> > of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary
> > will be distributing copies of both lists later this
> > evening.
> >
> > Let me start by saying that effective immediately,
> > foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately
> > and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year
> > alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
> >
> > The American people are no longer going to pour money into
> > third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders
> > grow fat on corruption.
> >
> > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
> > Call France.
> >
> > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to
> > redirect this money toward solving the vexing social
> > problems we still have at home.
> >
> > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations.
> > Screw with us and we will hunt you down and
> > eliminate you and all your friends from the face
> > of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to
> > terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
> >
> > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys.
> > Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David
> > is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for
> > negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
> > tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing of
> > diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia.
> > Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from
> > NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
> >
> > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing
> > the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with
> > more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those
> > vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't
> > care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
> > have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
> > tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos
> > be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the
> > world.
> >
> > I love New York.
> >
> > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List # 2.
> > Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other,
> > you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
> > Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire
> > corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I
> > will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
> > sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em?
> >
> > Yep, border security.
> >
> > So start doing something with your oil.
> >
> > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the
> > NAFTA treaty --- starting now.
> > We are tired of the one-way highway.
> > It is time for America to focus on its own welfare
> > and its own citizens.
> >
> > Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them
> > by saying, "darn tootin."
> >
> > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a
> > decent life around the world has only earned us the
> > undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
> > It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
> > eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to
> > eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.
> >
> > To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks
> > guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on
> > List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
> >
> > God bless America.
> >
> > Thank you and good night.
> >
> > If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are
> > reading it in English, thank a soldier.
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