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Sent to me by one of my buddies still in the Marines. This is supposed to be a true essay written by a young Private who had to write an essay because he forgot his poncho. This is suppose to be punishment........Cannot say it is 100% true, I was not there, but if it is, he is still doing push-ups!
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My Very Long, One Thousand Word R.B.I. (Re-enforcement by Indorsement) On Why It Is Important To Bring My Equipment.
By Jason "Roadkill" Phipps
It is extremly Important that I bring my equipment every day because if I don't, the Drill Sergeant makes me write a stupid R.B.I, which I must write, because if I don't the Army will kick me out, instantly runining my life because I will be unable to get a job and I will wind up living in a cardboard box becuase sometimes society can be a cruel, cruel, entity.
Therefore, I will always from now on bring my poncho to chow becuase as everyone knows, it often rains inside of the Mess Hall. I also do not lke to live in a cardboard box.
As a Delta Dog, I should have known better and brought my poncho, but that darn common sesnse of mine keeps getting in the way, dog gone it.
Another reason the poncho is useful in the Mess Hall is becuase of it's caomflaging properties. For instance, if a Drill Sergeant catches me getting cake AND ice cream, and is about to throw a tantrum, I put on my poncho and "poof!" I am rendered virtually invisible. I blend in with my surroundings and disappear!
Another important function of the rain poncho is that it can also be used as a poortable, mini greenhouse, very useful for growing some stunning orchids or perhaps maybe a Rhodendron. Normally, as civilians, we had to pay $19.95 for a mini greenhouse, but we as soldiers get this valuable piece of plastic for free. And I foolishly didn't bring mine with me to the Mess Hall, dog gone it!
It is because of my own incompetence that I didn't bring my invaluable, priceless poncho. But wait a minute, why was I shipped here three weeks early? That's right! Incompetence! Incompetence on the part of the beauracracy because everyone knew that Echo Company would be closing a year ago! Dog gone incompetence! But I digress. I am getting off the subject here.
I love my poncho! We will never be apart again! I can't think of anything else to write, so now I'll just copy stuff out of my smart book.
PONCHO: The poncho is made of coated nylon and is waterproof (duh, really?). It can be used as a rain garment, ground cloth, or sleeping bag. It can also be used to make a shelter or tent (Figure 2-26). Two ponchos can be snapped together to make a two person shelter. If possible, air dry the poncho before folding it up. It should be hand washed with warm, soapy water.
Figure 2-26
[NOTE: The PVT Phipps drew a picture of a poncho shelter on the original document at this point.]
Here are some uses for the poncho that the military hasn't thought of yet:
- Kevorkian parachute
- Camoflage colestomy bag
- Appropriate wear for those spur of the moment combat toga parties
- A hot, uncomfortable turban
- One size fits all prophilactic
I know that this is complete off the subject of my poncho, but it is intreguing none the less. Sometimes I just wonder, what ever happended to Chef Boyardee? I mean the actual Chef Boyardee, the who who started the Beef n Cheez Ravioli legacy. What was his first name, and is he alive or dead? If he's dead, how did he die? If he's alive, where is he now? And does the thought of eating ravioli make him puke, or is he some sort of obsessed sicko eating it every day, for every meal, for years and years? The answer is...I don't know. I'm just a curious guy I guess. I wonder if he had a poncho?
Well, I'm almost to the end of this RBI. I'll bet you didn't think that anyone could write this much stuff about a poncho, huh? Well, I admint it was a challange, but I did it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (take that anyway you want! Hooah!) But seriously, this wasn't a punishment, it was fun. I LOVE creative writing! Expecially in this military environment where every smidgen of creativity or humor is squashed out of existence.
Drill Sergeant, thank you for conditioning my mind and my writer's cramp. Please feel free to do so at any time. I will now recover.
Wow! That's impressive! My lovely poncho has more uses than a wheel! (Another exellent object!).
I still can't think of anything else to say, so I'll just write anything that pops into my head. When the drill sergeants say "R.B.I.", it kind of sounds like "Ribeye". "Write me a Ribeye, Private!" Well, to make sure I didn't misunderstand the drill sergeant, I will write a Ribeye here...
[Pencil drawing of a ribeye steak]
Mmm! Looks good, huh? here's a song I wrote about my pohcho..
Poncho Man
I say, young man, are you getting all wet?
I say young man, are you cold and upset?
I say youngman, do you want to be dry?
Then why, don't, you, be, a ...
Doot, Doot, Doot, doot,
I'm talkin bout a,
Pon-cho, Pon-cho man,
I wanna be a Ponco man
(Oh yea!) Pon-cho, Pon-cho man
I wanna be a Poncho ...Man!
Oh, P-O-N-C-H-O
P-O-N-C-H-O
It's got every-thing to keep you dry,
It will hide you from enemy eyes.
Oh, P-O-N-C-H-O
P-O-N-C-H-O
You don't have to be smart, to put the thing on
It's got only one big hole.
I'm talkin bout a,
Pon-cho, Pon-cho man,
I wanna be a Ponco man
I'm talkin bout a,
Pon-cho, Pon-cho man,
I wanna be a Ponco...man!
Here's a list of words that sort of rhyme with poncho...
Honcho
Sancho
Rauncho
launch-o
Bunch-o
lunch-o
Punch-o
Munch-o
Crunch-o
I can't think of any more words that rhyme with Poncho.
I know that Abraham Lincoln wore a poncho, when it was raining. This is a documented fact. I think. All the forefathers of our country wore ponchos as well.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Very Long, One Thousand Word R.B.I. (Re-enforcement by Indorsement) On Why It Is Important To Bring My Equipment.
By Jason "Roadkill" Phipps
It is extremly Important that I bring my equipment every day because if I don't, the Drill Sergeant makes me write a stupid R.B.I, which I must write, because if I don't the Army will kick me out, instantly runining my life because I will be unable to get a job and I will wind up living in a cardboard box becuase sometimes society can be a cruel, cruel, entity.
Therefore, I will always from now on bring my poncho to chow becuase as everyone knows, it often rains inside of the Mess Hall. I also do not lke to live in a cardboard box.
As a Delta Dog, I should have known better and brought my poncho, but that darn common sesnse of mine keeps getting in the way, dog gone it.
Another reason the poncho is useful in the Mess Hall is becuase of it's caomflaging properties. For instance, if a Drill Sergeant catches me getting cake AND ice cream, and is about to throw a tantrum, I put on my poncho and "poof!" I am rendered virtually invisible. I blend in with my surroundings and disappear!
Another important function of the rain poncho is that it can also be used as a poortable, mini greenhouse, very useful for growing some stunning orchids or perhaps maybe a Rhodendron. Normally, as civilians, we had to pay $19.95 for a mini greenhouse, but we as soldiers get this valuable piece of plastic for free. And I foolishly didn't bring mine with me to the Mess Hall, dog gone it!
It is because of my own incompetence that I didn't bring my invaluable, priceless poncho. But wait a minute, why was I shipped here three weeks early? That's right! Incompetence! Incompetence on the part of the beauracracy because everyone knew that Echo Company would be closing a year ago! Dog gone incompetence! But I digress. I am getting off the subject here.
I love my poncho! We will never be apart again! I can't think of anything else to write, so now I'll just copy stuff out of my smart book.
PONCHO: The poncho is made of coated nylon and is waterproof (duh, really?). It can be used as a rain garment, ground cloth, or sleeping bag. It can also be used to make a shelter or tent (Figure 2-26). Two ponchos can be snapped together to make a two person shelter. If possible, air dry the poncho before folding it up. It should be hand washed with warm, soapy water.
Figure 2-26
[NOTE: The PVT Phipps drew a picture of a poncho shelter on the original document at this point.]
Here are some uses for the poncho that the military hasn't thought of yet:
- Kevorkian parachute
- Camoflage colestomy bag
- Appropriate wear for those spur of the moment combat toga parties
- A hot, uncomfortable turban
- One size fits all prophilactic
I know that this is complete off the subject of my poncho, but it is intreguing none the less. Sometimes I just wonder, what ever happended to Chef Boyardee? I mean the actual Chef Boyardee, the who who started the Beef n Cheez Ravioli legacy. What was his first name, and is he alive or dead? If he's dead, how did he die? If he's alive, where is he now? And does the thought of eating ravioli make him puke, or is he some sort of obsessed sicko eating it every day, for every meal, for years and years? The answer is...I don't know. I'm just a curious guy I guess. I wonder if he had a poncho?
Well, I'm almost to the end of this RBI. I'll bet you didn't think that anyone could write this much stuff about a poncho, huh? Well, I admint it was a challange, but I did it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (take that anyway you want! Hooah!) But seriously, this wasn't a punishment, it was fun. I LOVE creative writing! Expecially in this military environment where every smidgen of creativity or humor is squashed out of existence.
Drill Sergeant, thank you for conditioning my mind and my writer's cramp. Please feel free to do so at any time. I will now recover.
Wow! That's impressive! My lovely poncho has more uses than a wheel! (Another exellent object!).
I still can't think of anything else to say, so I'll just write anything that pops into my head. When the drill sergeants say "R.B.I.", it kind of sounds like "Ribeye". "Write me a Ribeye, Private!" Well, to make sure I didn't misunderstand the drill sergeant, I will write a Ribeye here...
[Pencil drawing of a ribeye steak]
Mmm! Looks good, huh? here's a song I wrote about my pohcho..
Poncho Man
I say, young man, are you getting all wet?
I say young man, are you cold and upset?
I say youngman, do you want to be dry?
Then why, don't, you, be, a ...
Doot, Doot, Doot, doot,
I'm talkin bout a,
Pon-cho, Pon-cho man,
I wanna be a Ponco man
(Oh yea!) Pon-cho, Pon-cho man
I wanna be a Poncho ...Man!
Oh, P-O-N-C-H-O
P-O-N-C-H-O
It's got every-thing to keep you dry,
It will hide you from enemy eyes.
Oh, P-O-N-C-H-O
P-O-N-C-H-O
You don't have to be smart, to put the thing on
It's got only one big hole.
I'm talkin bout a,
Pon-cho, Pon-cho man,
I wanna be a Ponco man
I'm talkin bout a,
Pon-cho, Pon-cho man,
I wanna be a Ponco...man!
Here's a list of words that sort of rhyme with poncho...
Honcho
Sancho
Rauncho
launch-o
Bunch-o
lunch-o
Punch-o
Munch-o
Crunch-o
I can't think of any more words that rhyme with Poncho.
I know that Abraham Lincoln wore a poncho, when it was raining. This is a documented fact. I think. All the forefathers of our country wore ponchos as well.
Extra words
Extra words
Extra words
Extra words
Extra words
Extra words
Extra words
Extra words
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