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I think this was George Carlin's bit)
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD...
Well, it's shit... That's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
And tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference
between shit and shinola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.
There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit,
shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
And some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit,
the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes your breath smells like shit
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit
and other times you fall in a bucket of shit
and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts,
it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit,
you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit;
or not do so if you don't give a shit!
Well, Shit, it's time for me to go.
Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit
and hope you had a nice day without a bunch of shit.
But, if you happened to catch a load of shit
from some shit-head...........
Well, Shit Happens!!!
HOPE YOUR SHITTY DAYS ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD...
Well, it's shit... That's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
And tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference
between shit and shinola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.
There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit,
shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
And some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit,
the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes your breath smells like shit
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit
and other times you fall in a bucket of shit
and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts,
it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit,
you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit;
or not do so if you don't give a shit!
Well, Shit, it's time for me to go.
Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit
and hope you had a nice day without a bunch of shit.
But, if you happened to catch a load of shit
from some shit-head...........
Well, Shit Happens!!!
HOPE YOUR SHITTY DAYS ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN