Stimulus plan explained

[baseballdave]

Stimulus Plan Explained



"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. Only a smidgen.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase high-definition TV sets and DVD players, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala.


If you buy a car it will go to Japan .

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America!





You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

[ToDaClub]

You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

This shows what I have known all along, KB is an all american

[wayne1218]

On a serious note, are we getting a stimulus? Has it been finalized or determined yet?

[ToDaClub]

It will be mid February before the House and Senate agree on a plan that will total between 850 and 900 Billion.

[PhilJr]

Maybe they shouldn't have spent $120 million dollars for an inauguration party.

[ToDaClub]

You mean 200 million right? I think Bushes last one was 120 million

[harold_bush]

This is the most retarded "plan" I've ever seen. There are so many ridiculous pieces to this "stimulus" package I don't even know where to start.
__________________________________________________ ______
$335,000,000 FOR STD PREVENTION IN ECONOMIC STIMULUS BILL
Wed Jan 28 2009 09:58:30 ET

Democrats may have eliminated provisions on birth control and sod for the National **** in the "job stimulus" -- but buried on page 147 of the bill is stimulation for prevention of sexually transmitted diseases!

The House Democrats' bill includes $335 million for sexually transmitted disease education and prevention programs at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

In the past, the CDC has used STD education funding for programs that many Members of Congress find objectionable and arguably unrelated to a mission of economic stimulus [such as funding events called 'Booty Call' and 'Great Sex' put on by an organization that received $698,000 in government funds.]

"Whether this funding has merit is not the question; the point is it has no business in an economic plan supposedly focused on job creation," says a stimulated Hill source.

Developing...

[ToDaClub]

Not all of that is taxpayer money however, I think the tax payer is on the hook for about 120 million mainly for security, the rest is picked up by private monies.

[harold_bush]

David Brooks: Stimulus bill has three flaws
Saturday, January 24
( updated 3:00 am)
By David Brooks
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There is a strong case to be made for a short, sharp stimulus package to restrain the collapse of the American economy. This would involve big, simple programs with immediate impact -- a temporary cut in the payroll tax, big aid to the states, expanded unemployment insurance and food stamps.

There's also a very strong case to be made for long-term government reform. America could fundamentally rethink its infrastructure policies -- create a new model adapted to new modes of community-building. It could fundamentally rethink human capital policies -- create a lifelong menu of learning options, from pre-K programs to service opportunities for the elderly.

But the stimulus bill emerging in the House of Representatives does neither of these things. The bill marked up Wednesday in the Appropriations Committee is a muddled mixture of short-term stimulus haste and long-term spending commitments. It is an unholy marriage that manages to combine the worst of each approach -- rushed short-term planning with expensive long-term fiscal impact.

The bill has three essential failings.

First, it lacks any strategic vision. This $825 billion bill has to be passed within weeks. There's no time for fundamental rethinking or new approaches. Instead, there's a sloppy profusion of 152 different appropriations -- off-the-shelf ideas that mostly create costlier versions of the status quo.

The committee staff took the kernel of President Barack Obama's vision -- infrastructure programs to create jobs -- and surrounded it with an undisciplined sprawl of health, education, entitlement and other spending. There's money for nurse training, Medicare, Head Start, boat yard support, home weatherization and so on. Eleven of the programs in the bill account for the vast majority of the actual job creation. The rest may be worthy or not, but they have little to do with stimulus. The total package is so diffuse, it costs $223,000 to create a single job.

Second, the bill has relatively modest short-term impact. Many parts don't even pretend to be stimulus measures, like funding for basic research or special education programs. But even the parts of the bill that aim to stimulate will have modest near-term impact. A study by the Congressional Budget Office found that less than half of the money for infrastructure and discretionary programs would be spent by Oct. 1, 2010.

According to The Washington Post, of the $30 billion devoted to highway spending, only $4 billion will be spent in the next two years. Less than $3 billion of the $18.5 billion for renewable energy and less than half the financing for school construction will be spent by 2011.

The Appropriations Committee chairman, Rep. David Obey, D-Wis., fulminated against the CBO on Wednesday, and the uselessness of economists in general, but he had no answer to these findings.

Third, the spending measures in this bill have no sunset. In the middle of the Appropriations markup, the ranking member, Rep. Jerry Lewis, R-Calif., asked his chairman the crucial question: What happens when the economy recovers? Does this new spending disappear?

Obey refused to answer, but he didn't have to. The entire argument for these measures over the previous hours had been that they were good in themselves. The commitments in this bill will constitute the new budget base line. They will contribute to the coming $2 trillion deficits. Worse, these new structures, and the lobbyists they attract, will create more impediments to the innovation that Obama may seek in the years ahead.

On Tuesday, Obama was inaugurated and vowed a new era. On Wednesday, the House Appropriations Committee met and showed the old era was very much alive. Democratic subcommittee chairmen sat like potted plants because all power was wielded by Obey. Republicans were in the dark because of an information embargo placed on the majority staff.

Obama is clearly going to have to show the hard way that he meant what he said about bringing change. He didn't run for president just to sign whatever bills the Old Bulls put on his desk.

He's going to have to prove the hard way that he meant what he said about being pragmatic and evidence-based. That means he won't sweep a CBO study under the rug simply because the findings are inconvenient.

He's going to have to show that his plans have credibility, that a stimulus bill is really a stimulus bill, and not a Christmas tree for every special interest desire.

If he can do that, we'll look back on this stimulus as a timely, temporary and targeted success. If not, we'll just remember it as the sprawling mess that kicked up dozens of scandal headlines about $200 million programs to lay grass around the Jefferson Memorial.

The glow of the inauguration lingers, but the precedent-setting tests are already at hand.

David Brooks is a columnist for The New York Times.

[flarendep1]

On a serious note, are we getting a stimulus? Has it been finalized or determined yet?

What are you talking about?


You get stimulus every night, See Waynes "Picks for the day" plays for every night of the year! Gambling is a stimulus we all enjoy LOL.



Or, maybe Wayne is waiting for the stimulus he never gets unless it involves a porn video and a paper towel

[baseballdave]

What are you talking about?




Or, maybe Wayne is waiting for the stimulus he never gets unless it involves a porn video and a paper towel

I just spit up my drink !!!

[wayne1218]

What are you talking about?


You get stimulus every night, See Waynes "Picks for the day" plays for every night of the year! Gambling is a stimulus we all enjoy LOL.



Or, maybe Wayne is waiting for the stimulus he never gets unless it involves a porn video and a paper towel

No need for paper towels if your mouth is available!

[vols fan]

No need for paper towels if your mouth is available!

No clean up with Flare. He don't let a drop even hit his chin Wayne.

[wayne1218]

No clean up with Flare. He don't let a drop even hit his chin Wayne.

I think my response paralyzed him!

[flarendep1]

HAHA......... I have a stimulus "package" for all your wives, and it is a big one!