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BLONDE LOGIC
> Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde
says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
> The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
>
> CAR TROUBLE
>
>
>
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
> After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
> She says, "What's the story?"
> He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
>
>
>
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license.
> She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to
you!"
>
> RIVER WALK
>
>
>
> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other
side?"
> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You
ARE on the other side."
>
> AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE - my personal favorite!
>
>
>
> A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body
hurt wherever she touched it.
> "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
> The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
> likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her
scream.
> The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
> "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
> "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
>
> KNITTING
>
>
>
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting!
> Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper
cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
> "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF !"
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said,
"We were the first in space!"
> The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
> The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
> The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You
can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
> To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
night!"
>
> IN A VACUUM
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
> She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
>
>
> A girl was v isiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
named
> Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone
naming dogs like that?"
> "HELLLOOOOOOO.....," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
>
>
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> Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde
says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
> The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
>
> CAR TROUBLE
>
>
>
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
> After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
> She says, "What's the story?"
> He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
>
>
>
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license.
> She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to
you!"
>
> RIVER WALK
>
>
>
> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other
side?"
> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You
ARE on the other side."
>
> AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE - my personal favorite!
>
>
>
> A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body
hurt wherever she touched it.
> "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
> The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
> likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her
scream.
> The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
> "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
> "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
>
> KNITTING
>
>
>
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting!
> Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper
cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
> "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF !"
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said,
"We were the first in space!"
> The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
> The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
> The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You
can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
> To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
night!"
>
> IN A VACUUM
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
> She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
>
>
> A girl was v isiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
named
> Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone
naming dogs like that?"
> "HELLLOOOOOOO.....," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
>
>
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