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A must read with guys with daughters
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
>
> NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
> accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
> and
> current medical report from your doctor.
>
> NAME_____________________________________
>
> DATE OF BIRTH_____________
>
> HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
>
> SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________
>
> DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
>
> BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________
>
> HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY___________ CODE_____
>
>
> Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
>
> Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
>
> If No, explain:
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> Number of years they have been married
> ______________________________
>
> If less than your age, explain
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> ACCESSORIES SECTION:
>
> A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
>
> B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
>
> C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
>
> D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
>
> E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
>
> F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
> pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
>
> IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND
> LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.
>
>
> ESSAY SECTION:
>
>
> In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> REFERENCES SECTION:
>
> Church you attend
> __________________________________________________ _
>
>
> How often you attend
> ________________________________________________
>
>
> When would be the best time to interview your:
>
>
> father? _____________
>
>
> mother? _____________
>
>
> pastor? _____________
>
>
>
> SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
>
> Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are
> confidential.
>
> A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> C: A woman's place is in the:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?
>
>
> __________________________________________________ _____________
>
>
>
>
> F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room?
>
>
> __________________
>
>
> I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
> BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
> AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER
> TORTURE,
> RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
>
> __________________________________________________ _______
> Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> Mother's Signature
>
> ________________________________
> Father's Signature
>
> _______________________________
> Pastor/Priest/Rabbi
>
> ________________________________
> MP/ EMPLOYER
>
> Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
> non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be
> contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call
> or
> write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).
> If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman
> wearing white ties carrying violin cases
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
>
> NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
> accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
> and
> current medical report from your doctor.
>
> NAME_____________________________________
>
> DATE OF BIRTH_____________
>
> HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
>
> SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________
>
> DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
>
> BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________
>
> HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY___________ CODE_____
>
>
> Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
>
> Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
>
> If No, explain:
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> Number of years they have been married
> ______________________________
>
> If less than your age, explain
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> ACCESSORIES SECTION:
>
> A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
>
> B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
>
> C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
>
> D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
>
> E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
>
> F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
> pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
>
> IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND
> LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.
>
>
> ESSAY SECTION:
>
>
> In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> REFERENCES SECTION:
>
> Church you attend
> __________________________________________________ _
>
>
> How often you attend
> ________________________________________________
>
>
> When would be the best time to interview your:
>
>
> father? _____________
>
>
> mother? _____________
>
>
> pastor? _____________
>
>
>
> SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
>
> Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are
> confidential.
>
> A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> C: A woman's place is in the:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?
>
>
> __________________________________________________ _____________
>
>
>
>
> F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
>
> __________________________________________________ ____________
>
>
> G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room?
>
>
> __________________
>
>
> I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
> BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
> AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER
> TORTURE,
> RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
>
> __________________________________________________ _______
> Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> Mother's Signature
>
> ________________________________
> Father's Signature
>
> _______________________________
> Pastor/Priest/Rabbi
>
> ________________________________
> MP/ EMPLOYER
>
> Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
> non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be
> contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call
> or
> write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).
> If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman
> wearing white ties carrying violin cases
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