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"I don't know anything about a lot of things, but I would ask somebody and try to make a fair, honest decision for the majority of the people. Not the rich, not the poor, not the black, not the white. When you get elected to public office, you're supposed to represent everybody. Your job is not to take care of the rich or the poor or the black or the white. Your job is to take care of everybody."
"The Republicans are full of it. The Democrats are a little less full of it."
On her 17-year old daughter not dating yet: "Thank goodness. I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted."
"I always thought if a big man can't get 10 rebounds a night, he shouldn't be playing. Any big guy who can't get 10 rebounds a night, that [ticks] me off. That's why the game [ticks] me off at times, because rebounding is strictly just hard work. Come on now, a big guy's gotta get 10 rebounds. That's hard work and effort. I always thought scoring was overrated. If you want to score a lot of points, all you have to be is a gunner."
[B]Asked if he had ever been in the governor's office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. "They don't let many black people in the governor's mansion in Alabama," he said, "unless they're cleaning." [/B
A classic '92 Dream Team quote, after the USA played Angola and Charles had elbowed an Angolan national team member in the chest. When asked about it, he responded: "I shouldn't have done that. He probably hasn't eaten in weeks."
On Stromile Swift and his yet unrealized potential: "He's one of those guys. We're gonna be saying for years it's time for him and the time is going to be over. It's frustrating for me, man, when I see a guy with that kind of ability. I think we can fairly say the jury is still out, but we've been saying that for (six) years. You know, one of my favorite lines on television and he's in that category, is, man, that boy can run and jump. So can a deer. But I'd never put a deer in a game."
"I do have one question: Have you ever seen Gollum, John Clayton and Sam Cassell in the same place before?"
"It's always about the superstars. When you went to Chicago, you weren't gonna mess with Michael. When you go to LA, you weren't gonna mess with Magic. When in Boston, you weren't gonna mess with Larry. But when you go to Houston, you could beat the hell outta Kenny."
Just before the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship began: "I'm trying to get my game to peak tomorrow. My only goal at these tournaments is not to come in dead last."
July 11, 2006
"The only thing Christian Laettner has in common with Larry Bird is they both pee standing up."
At one point in the season, a player threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was penalized. They showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: "You know why that little girl's crying? It's because she's thinking 'my daddy's a wussy'".
June 16, 2006
To Kenny: "Tiny Archibald didn't even know you were alive before today...(when you called) he said, 'Kenny who?'"
[From the 2005 playoffs] "Steve Nash is willing his team to win. He has that mentality of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Magic Johnson, and says 'we're not going to lose tonight.' It is fun for me to watch because he represents everything that is good about the game."
[From the 2005 playoffs] Kenny Smith on the Fruit of the Loom label taped to Barkley's suit: "So now we know (if you wear) boxers or briefs."
Barkley: "(My underwear) don't even have sizes anymore, they just say 'HUGE.'"
June 07, 2006
"I'm rich, man. I can't be hitting people. It's a liability issue. Especially with all these white people in the crowd at golf tournaments. I can see the headlines: 'Charles Barkley kills white dude with a golf ball.' I don't need to be looking for my Al Cowlings."
June 2,2006
Ernie Johnson: "Okay, you're threatening to hit me again."
Charles: "Threatening is when you won't do it. I'll do it."
Barkley: Reggie was the stunt double in Brokeback Mountain.
Ernie Johnson, on Reggie Evans being caught grabbing the rocks of Chris Kaman: "(Reggie Evans) got caught with his hand in the cookie jar."
Charles Barkley: "Ernie, I don't know where you get your cookies at but the rest of us don't get ours there."
On a new TV show called "My Boys", which starred a blonde, Jordana Spiro, as a sportswriter. "Sportswriters don't look like that. They’re more like the troll variety."
On Steve Nash: "I’ve only said this two times in my life, but that's a bad ass white boy."
After a Brokeback Mountain joke showing Barkley and Kenny's heads superimposed onto the bodies of the film’s gay cowboys: "I was behind Kenny! I was the Mountain part. He was the Brokeback."
"Do I have a gambling problem? I do have a gambling problem, but it's not really a problem because I can afford to gamble."
"He (Popeye Jones) got ears like Reggie Miller and Grant Hill - they can all hear with the best of them."
When asked about his daughter getting to the age where she's going to start dating, Charles said, "I figure if I kill the first one, word will get out."
At a press conference before the Dream Team played Angola: "I don't know anything about Angola, but I know they're in trouble."
While with the 76ers he was asked what the game plan was. He said, "to score more points than the other team".
Talking about the Portland Trailblazers and their inconsistent play: "You never know what team is gonna show up on a given night, but you can bet they will be high."
I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove.
March 23, 2006
"Hey Kevin, let me tell you somethin. There are subliminal messages, and there are real messages. Like, if I hit somebody in the head with a hammer, that's a real message. When I offer you Altoids..."
"All those critics of Steve Nash last year, they should all shut up."
Kevin Harlan: "Here is Hakim Warrick... from Syracuse University."
Charles: "I gotta call Jim Boeheim. They gotta get a weight room up there."
Barkley (on David Letterman): I'm black and when I was growin up a lotta black people weren't sayin we gotta hurry up and grow up and move to Oklahoma. You never heard that, Dave! You know? We wanted to go to New York City, Philadelphia, Miami... none of the brothers said let's grow up and move to Oklahoma.
Letterman: I assume there are black people in Oklahoma.
Barkley: We got to assume that! We never been there!
At the dunk contest, as Josh Smith put a piece of tape down a ridiculous distance away from the hoop and the guys thought he was trying to jump from that point, Charles says: "That's impossible... that's like Dick Cheney trying to find another hunting partner."
On politicians: "You get two rich guys arguing over who's conservative and who's liberal - and you go, now, they just argued for an hour, and nothing got solved."
Reggie Miller: "Gonzaga. That's my dark horse."
Charles: "They ain't that dark."
"When you play for the Wizards, [Gilbert Arenas] is like Michael Jackson. He's playin with a lot of Tito Jacksons."
After Kenny agrees with Charles about a statement during Andre Igoudala's dunk -
Kenny: "I think that's the first time we agreed on anything"
Charles: "We both think you're ugly"
Thanks Rufus!
Kevin: "Iguodala was on fire!"
Charles: "He wasn't on fire. He was just excited he got to shoot in a game."
On Andre Iguodala scoring 30 points at the Rookie-Sophomore game: "He's just getting all that shooting out of his system before he goes back to work on Tuesday."
There was an on-screen graphic of the huge contracts the Knicks have doled out to account for one of the league's worst records, to which Charles replies, "I guess $123 million doesn't go as far as it used to."
"That's not a flagrant! I've been kissed harder than that... By Kenny!"
-Sir Charles while watching a recap from Miami @ Minnisota game while DWade was fouled.
"Being black or white isn't an accomplishment. What you do with your life — or what you accomplish with your life — dictates what you should be proud of."
Barkley on Seattle Supersonics guard Ray Allen in the three-point contest: "He's got the most effortless jump shot in the NBA. His shot is like my golf swing - no wasted motions."
Reggie Miller, after reigning three-point shooting contest champion and New York Knicks guard Quentin Richardson was eliminated in the first round: "To sum it up short, that's the way the Knicks season has gone all year."
Barkley: "Short? I don't even think midgets are that short."
"When I saw [Nowitzki] in Germany before he got to the NBA, I told him 'I'll give you any amount of money you want to go to Auburn'."
Kenny Smith: "The Knicks beat Detroit the other day."
Barkley: "Even a broken clock is right twice a day."
At halftime of the all star game, in response to seeing Beyonce in the crowd, Barkley said, "All I wanna know is when ya see someone that pretty, how can you go to Brokeback Mountain?"
When David Letterman asked if he was looking forward to attending All Star weekend, Charles replied "I am now. I was supposed to go hunting with Dick Cheney."
February 07, 2006
"I just wish all these young black kids would realize how significant it is to stop acting a fool out there, killing each other, not getting their education. You know, people have died to put us in a situation to be successful."
When asked to say something about the L.A. Sports Arena: "This place? Nothing positive. OK, I want to say something positive. It's positively a dump."
"I'm not going to argue with you, Ernie. I'll hit you in the left eye."
On Allen Iverson wearing a throwback jersey: "You know when you get a certain age you shouldn't be allowed to wear throwback jerseys. Throwbacks don't look good at the parent-teacher meetings"
January 10, 2006
"Black people get treated like crap in this country. White folks who don't have money get treated like crap. So listen, if you don't like it - Don't watch! Okay Ernie, let's talk about basketball."
Thanks Kenny!
"You know like you go to a big city they have like Ruth's Chris or Morton's Steakhouse? If you in a small town you gonna get a Sizzler and that's it."
Charles (To Kenny) : We both think you're ugly
Kenny: I'd rather be smart than beautiful
Charles: Well you're 0-2 (0 for 2)
"I'm gonna go home and get naked again in the mirror cuz I don't look like Rerun or Al Roker. There's some deception going on. I'm not fat y'all! I'm big-boned."
November 30, 2005
On Phil Jackson handing out books to his team: "He needs to give that team a Bible. Only God can help them. They're terrible."
Here's one in response to San Antonio's opening night victory over the Nuggets, which includes Reggie and Charles trying to pronounce Fabricio Oberto's name.
Charles: "That's bad news for the West."
Ernie: "It certainly is."
Charles: "Because San Antonio, number one, with Tim Duncan and Ginobili playing basketball all summer...They won it last year, and they're much better, I think Nick Van Exel is going to be a great addition, and Michael Finley, and I can't pronounce that big kid's name, but he's gonna play well also."
Reggie: "Francisco Oberto!"
Charles: "Oh, you bilingual now!"
November 11, 2005
"Hey first of all, I love Mark Cuban. He ain't never gonna know more about basketball than me. I ain't never gonna have as much money as him, I'll never know more about computers, but he'll live to be 1000, and he'll never know more than us two about basketball. If he knew that, he wouldn't have put that little 'soft cake' team together."
November 7, 2005
After seeing Mark Cuban wearing that ugly blue jacket: "Wow, all that money and he dresses like Craig Sager."
November 2, 2005
After the spurs received their 04-05 championship rings: "They [The NBA] could save some time and just give em the rings they're gonna give em next year."
October 29, 2005
"If I didn't have my gambling problem I would never work at all." Thanks Ryan!
"...that light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it's a train."
Jay Leno - "You ever bet on something and just said: This is crazy?"
Barkley - "Sunday night Jay. I bet on the Houston Texans. I have no idea what I was feelin. I'm like, I call my guy I said, 'Houston's gotta win a game sooner or later don't they?' I'm thinkin ok they on national television. Every jock gets excited when they on national television. There's no way you gonna embarass yourself... I was wrong."
Ernie: "Here's Shaquile O'Neal, he's put on 15 pounds in the offseason, all muscle he says."
Charles: "That's what all fat people say - 'It's all muscle'"
To Kenny the Jet, who was late to work: "When we say go on at seven, that don't mean black folk time."
On hypnotism today on the Oprah Winfrey Show, in regards to his terrible golf swing:
"I went to go get hypnotised so I would get rid of the yips with my golf swing....all i got was a good nap."
October 14, 2005
According to the Chicago Sun-Times TNT's Charles Barkley entered Rosebud Steakhouse in Chicago on Monday night and said to the bartender: "Why don’t I buy everybody a drink to congratulate them on their White Sox, because I know there’s not a lot of winning teams in town right now."
On why he doesn't vote: "You're voting for who'll do the best for you, and I don't like that system. You should vote to help everybody."
While watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: "Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can't just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the 'hood."
When asked why blacks excel at basketball: "It doesn't cost anything to play."
"Sports are a detriment to blacks, not a positive. You have a society now where every black kid in the country thinks the only way he can be successful is through athletics."
October 10, 2005
Post Hurricane Katrina:
"A lot of kids just think about playing sports instead of being doctors, lawyers or even reporters. That's why you have to get your education. You cannot be at the mercy of the government."
"It's a really tough situation - sad and unfortunate, but hopefully, it's a wake-up call for people who are less fortunate. I stress a lot you have to get your education, especially black kids, poor white kids and Hispanic kids."
"You know what's amazing to me? America. There have been so many people who have stepped up, and I'm just proud to be an American. Yeah, there were some mistakes made, but I don't play the blame game. Let's move forward and rebuild New Orleans."
[The reports I've read have mentioned Charles saying he was going to be donating $1 million to relief efforts, with $250,000 going to a charity in Alabama. He also planned to buy five houses in Atlanta to provide housing for evacuees.]
Barkley: "I tell you what's going to be an interesting team. The Utah Jazz."
Kenny: "Good interesting or bad interesting?"
Barkley: "I don't know yet."
[B]When Charles was playing for the Rockets and the Lakers needed to win one more game to finish up that series (early playoffs), Shaq and he were at the free throw line. Houston was about to win which meant LA had to stay there one more night. Problem was, LA had already packed up and booked flights back to LA, assuming it would be an easy game...Barkley was jawing at Shaq as usual and someone asked him later what he said:
[Paraphrased] "I was just asking Shaq if he needed a place to stay here in Houston."]
September 9, 2005
On Supreme Court nominee John Roberts: "I'm disappointed that George Bush is going to get to pick, most likely, two Supreme Court Justices. I'm very disappointed in that. It's a good thing I don't need an abortion and it's a good thing I don't need an affirmative action job."
Chris Rose: You used to be called The Round Mound of Rebound. Just how round are you these days?
Charles Barkley: A few doughnuts away from a complete circle.
July 22, 2005
"People who talk on the radio are idiots. It's the worst thing that ever happened to sports -- talk radio."
On no longer being a republican: "That was until they went crazy, before all those religious fanatics took over. My man (President Bush) started a war for no reason. He's getting innocent kids killed over there."
July 8, 2005
[From STEVE KING - Philadelphia Daily News]: When asked about a possible career as an analyst in another field - maybe golf - Barkley said: "Trust me, there are enough jackasses on television right now who think they know about every sport, so I'm going to stick to basketball... If you don't play the sport, then you're just a guy voicing his opinion. Dan Marino would be great on Monday Night Football, but I wouldn't want him coming over to the NBA."
On playing a celebrity golf tournament: "As long as Chris Webber is playing, I know I won't come in dead last. I know I can at least beat him."
On the camera shot of Steve Nash's wife and twin baby daughters:
EJ: And there we see the wife of the MVP and his newborn twins.
Charles: She's an MVP too!
July 5, 2005
Sir Charles, on Bill Maher's show, about the Democratic Presidential Debates, "Al Sharpton need to get out, too. And that sistah-girl (Carrol Moseley Braun). Hey, I love Al Sharpton and I love the sistah-girl, but hey, we can't even get black coaches in the NFL, you think we gonna have a black president?"
Discussing the revisionist, positive views on Ronald Reagan:
"Let me say this on that. I don't go to funerals anymore. Because, every time you go to a funeral, even if the person's an asshole you have to sit there and listen to what a great guy they were. And, that's why I refuse to go to funerals anymore. THAT'S THE TRUTH! (He) can be the biggest asshole in the world, but when you go to someone's funeral, you say, 'I'm at the wrong funeral!'"
Thanks Joe!
During the NBA finals, Ernie Johnson points to a sign that reads:
"Barkley = Dumb, Van Gundy = Dumber"
Barkley responds, "Hey, at least that guy knows who I am. I have no idea who that guy is."
June 21, 2005
When asked by Bob Costas why he wants to be the governor of Alabama: "I want to help poor people, Bob. Somehow, I'm going to help poor people."
Charles on Jim Brown: "He’s not a martyr. He’s an ass."
When Chuck was asked by the judge if he had any regrets about throwing guy through a window in Orlando he said, "I regret we weren't on a higher floor."
Earlier in Shaq's career, Chuck's advice: "He needs to learn the 2 words I tried to teach Oliver Miller....I'M FULL!"
June 9, 2005 - Sorry for the delay - I was on vacation!
Summarizing Hootie Johnson's stance on keeping women out of Augusta: "Translating it into Ebonics. ... What he's saying is, 'We are golf, we've always been racist and sexist.'"
"I hope a lot of these young kids look at [Dwayne Wade], who went to college. Everybody is in such a hurry. Hey, the money is not going anywhere... and if you go to the right college, you can get paid there... Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee"
New Jersey and Washington never looked at a scouting report," Barkley said, referring to the book on Wade. "Every time Dwyane Wade goes left, he stops and shoots a step-back jumper. Every time he goes right, he goes all the way to the basket. I don't think any of these NBA players today ever look at a scouting report. This is just very simple and they're just dumb.
EJ: "The Wizards have not won a playoff series since 1988."
Barkley: "That's only because they sucked."
Kenny: "I think New Jersey has a chance to beat them. If they had Vince Carter all year they'd be the three seed."
Barkley: "Have you been drinking again?"
"Isiah Thomas is building a championship team... too bad it's in San Antonio."
Charles Barkley on the Nazr Mohammed deal.
Ernie: "We're on our way to Detroit, aren't we?"
Barkley: "Damn, I gotta get my bulletproof vest."
Charles Barkley on TNT about winning the 1993 NBA Most Valuable Player award: "Oh, that's the paperweight in my office. That was a great honor and the best year of my basketball life. I played with Magic on the Dream Team, I beat the hell out of Kenny [Smith] one night in a nightclub... that was one of the better years of my life."
Thanks John!
Charles responding to an Orlando Sentinel poll that showed that 62% of respondents did not want the Orlando Magic to re-sign free agent Shaquille O'Neal: "Just shows you that 62% of the people in Orlando are stupid."
On his attempts to lose weight: "I'm trying, but food just tastes too damn good!"
Sir Charles to Steve Kerr: "Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn't shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive."
After TNT showed a stat that Charles had the lowest career three point percentage amongst players who took at least 250 3 point attempts in the playoffs - "To whoever put that stat together... 'Yo Mama'".
"I saw what the governor makes. That's like four hands of blackjack."
-- Charles Barkley on why he wasn't seriously considering becoming the Governor of Alabama
"I got two pet peeves: If you watch American Idol, or you're one of those doofuses who dress up as Star Wars and sleep outside, you're a stone-cold loser."
"I thought it was very weird the way Tony Parker came in today. He was very casual, hugging on his girlfriend a little bit. First of all, the Spurs are not the defending champions. You don't wear an old shirt from two years ago I might add."
(In the TNT studio when EJ and Kenny brought up the fact that he knew something about throwing people through windows) "He poured a drink on my head! I should've KILLED him!!"
TNT shows a clip of Scottie Pippen being honored by the Chicago Bulls. Barkley remarks on Pippen's suit, "That's a good looking suit, Scottie looks good from the neck down."
"Poor People and minorities tend to vote Democrat. That's why they're poor."
After hearing Kenny & Charles mocking foreign-born NBA draftee's poor English languague skills during their post-selection interviews on TNT in 2002, Commisioner Stern walked up to the podium in between picks, and in front of the live television audience as well as the crowd at MSG, said "You know, when Kenny and Charles first came into the league, they didn't speak English either."
"People try to compare (Wade) to Michael Jordan, but he's not. Michael Jordan would have guarded Rip Hamilton. Miami said, 'We're not going to put him on Rip Hamilton because he would use too much energy.' [Jordan] guarded Reggie Miller, who is better than Rip Hamilton, and he never got tired. That was why Michael Jordan was the greatest player."
TNT showed a clip of Allen Iverson saying he was so happy, he wanted to kiss his new coach on the lips. Ernie then asked the crew if they ever felt the same way. Charles said, "I played for some ugly coaches: Billy Cunningham, Jim Lynam, and Rudy Tomjonavich".
After Ernie asks if Charles has ever been to another country: "I've been to Alabama, that's like a third world country."
During the Bruno's Memorial Classic Pro-Am: "Cat [Reddick, a female soccer player] was fantastic but when you lose to a woman, it means you suck at something. There are two times when you know you suck at sports -- when you can't beat the women and when you can't beat the smart kids." and later "Like a couple of years ago when I went to the Auburn-Georgia Tech game. We lost and I knew we were in trouble. We couldn't beat the smart guys."
Ernie was talking about Ray Allen's complaints of Bruce Bowen.
Charles: It's called defense, Ernie. I wouldn't know anything about it, personally. But I've heard it through the grapevine.
May 10, 2005
You can't compare preseason to regular season. Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money."
On the 1991 Indiana Pacers: "They could be scary if they ever learn how to play basketball, which they haven't yet."
"These guys who have three or four babies by different women should have their balls cut off."
Summing up management for the Philadelphia 76ers: "We can't have beer in the locker rooms. I can't have a beer after I run up and down the court for two hours, but they're going to serve it to the guy who's got a wife and two kids to drive home. That is so gutless. They're only concerned about making money."
As part of a segue for some team that had just lost their series, Kenny Smith said: "Oh look... I got a big one" and he reeled up the sign that said "gone fishing".
Then Barkley said: "That's probably the first time you have had a chance to say that."
After Kenny Smith expressed surprised at Barkley's ability to pronounce Suns guard Leandro Barbosa's name, Charles replied: "I'm bilingual. I speak profanity and English."
I don't have the exact line, but Sir Charles said that if Dwayne Wade is Robin to Shaq's Batman, then Damon Jones must be Alfred [Batman's butler].
"Mark Jackson says he loves his fiancee so much he would give up basketball for her. Not me. I love my wife but she can't pay the bills like this NBA money can. I'd have to pick John Nash (general manager at the time of the 76ers, Barkley's then-team) over her."
During the 1992 Olympics in Spain: "I really miss America. I miss hearing if anybody's shot somebody lately."
Also during the '92 Olympics: "Christian (Laettner) is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys."
May 5, 2005
To Kenny: "Oh man! I can't stand the X-Files! I don't believe in Extra-Terrestrials... until I saw your girlfriend one night. She needs to phone home."
Kenny: Well my brother vincent always told me...
Charles: Is he still a skycap?
On the Washington Wizard's poor playoff performance in the early games of the Bulls/Wizards series: "They have the worst shot selection. They take more one-pass shots than any team that I've seen in a long time. No one can get in a rhythm. It's like they're going one-on-one every time. It's frustrating to watch."
Later, he told the Washington Post: "I don't have to defend [what I said]. The way they play is horrible to watch. I picked them to win the series but I don't know if they can win it now. When I voice my opinion, if people don't like it, they know what they can kiss. There is a reason that teams don't win playoff games ... because they aren't any good."
Thanks Chris! (via the brilliant daily madness that is Jay Mariotti's column)
On Magic Johnson's return to basketball: "We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."
Charles is recalling a 1986 Philly playoff loss at the hands of the Washington Bullets.
Charles: "That game, we were up big with 3 minutes to play, and they scored 18 straight points and had a game-winning three at the buzzer..."
Kenny: "What happened? Did your sphincter tighten in that game?"
Charles: "No, Doctor J's did."
April 28, 2005
"That boy'd be a fool to marry that damn runaway bride."
April 28, 2005
Kenny: "I worked out with my brother, Vincent, when I was growing up -"
Charles: "What do you think this is, Family Tree Hour? People at home don't care who the hell your brother is!"
April 27, 2005
"I don't think there's any doubt. Anybody in their right mind knows I'm the best forward in basketball. Well, the only person comparable to me is Karl Malone, but his body is so different from mine. Even my wife loves his body, and that's the main reason I say I'm the best. With a body like that, he is supposed to be awesome. With a body like mine, I'm supposed to be a couch potato."
To Kenny Smith: "What kind of self-respecting man walks around with only $20 bucks on him?"
"Of course Yao hasn't gone up against guys his own size, doesn't she realize there aren't any black guys over there [in China]?"
Thanks Ian!
Charles: "You mean you don't teach your kids defense?"
Quin Snyder: "No, we are taking after you, Charles."
"Craig Sager is the only guy on TV that can't get a date. It is almost impossible to be on TV and not be able to get a date."
"Hey Commissioner, I would like to tell you that I take great pride that I can say I knew you when your hair was all black!"
"It ain't even close. Kobe Bryant is a really good player, but to compare him -- I know they have to hype up today's athletes -- but it ain't even close." - about Bryant being compared to Michael Jordan
April 12, 2005
"On learning that Don MacLean tested positive for steroids in 2000 (remember MacLean from UCLA?): "Don MacLean. I've seen Don MacLean naked, and he doesn't use steroids."
"I know we have to work a lot during the playoffs, and that's part of working. But I look at those five months of vacation where I do nothing but play golf and go to Vegas and lay on the bench and be the big sex symbol that I am."
While honoring Cotton Fitzsimmons, Charles tells a story about his Phoenix Suns days: "He had the roof down. I was like, 'It's like 122 degrees out here. Is it always this hot?' Cotton said, 'You’re going to hell one day, so this will help you get used to it.'"
and
"He meant a great deal to me because he brought me to Phoenix, the best thing to ever happen in my life."
Greg Gumbel: " Happy St Patrick's Day".
Barkley: "Great. Another reason for the Irish to go out and drink."
After Ben Gordon made a floater in the Bulls vs. Cavs game...
Charles: That is one shot that every player should learn
Kenny: Yea I am teaching my daughter and son that shot.
Charles: I thought your daughter and son were the same person.
Charles on how so many NBA players think they are better than they really are, aka his "Playboy Bunny Theory":
"Most guys think they are married to Playboy bunnies, when in reality they're married to rabbits."
Question: Any chance down the road of you succeeding David Stern as Commissioner of the NBA?
Barkley: I think the NBA has been very fortunate to have David Stern, and I'm not just blowing smoke. He is easily the best commissioner in sports today. But I am against working. I think working is overrated, so I have no intention right now, or at any time in the near future, to get a real job."
The famous lines from Chuck's infamous tv commercial: "These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it."
"My family got all over me because they said Bush is only for the rich people. Then I reminded them, 'Hey, I'm rich'."
"I don't care what people think. People are stupid."
Thanks Ian!
"Colonel Sanders is the greatest white man that ever lived."
"I always preface anything I say with 'it's my opinion' I'm not an expert. There are too many guys on television who think they're experts."
"If I offend someone, I'm not trying to do it. If they get offended, they'll get over it."
March 16, 2005
According to Sir Charles, Chris Webber has "become a 6-10 jump shooter. Get your butt in the box and take the ball to the basket."
March 2, 2005
At All Star Weekend, watching Voshon Leonard shoot threes:
Kenny Smith: Voshon Lenard doesn't appear to have the conditioning to hold up in the second round.
Charles: He's in the condition to hold up his pants.
February 24, 2005
At All Star Weekend, watching Voshon Leonard shoot threes:
Kenny: You can see he put on a couple pounds.
Chuck: A couple? That's an understatement. That's like calling the Titanic a small boating accident. We could wear the same underwear now!
Talking about Karl Malone and his retirement on Jay Leno:
Jay Leno: "Karl's in great shape though!"
Charles Barkley: "Me too. Round is a shape!"
Thanks Joe!
"I hope whoever was in charge of the Halftime show is getting their resume ready" - Charles Barkley on the Country Music Halftime show @ The 2005 NBA All Star Game
Thanks [email protected]!
When Chuck was asked if he'd ever used steroids: "No, never. I've always had to try and lose weight. I've never heard the words, 'Charles, you need to bulk up.'"
On the NHL season being cancelled: "I will always side with the players against the owners because the owners are crooks. Players work their behinds off."
"That's the same Minnesota team that was a couple of games away from the Finals last year. Do they think that suddenly Flip no longer knows how to coach? That's just stupid. He did not become a bad coach overnight. They should have broken up that team months ago. It's clear they have quit."
Ernie Johnson said relates a Barkley moment:
"Like the night he came out on the set at halftime and started eating a hamburger as his own personal protest of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). He said something to the effect that animals were 'only good for eating and testing,' to which I replied, 'You know you might have 'em protesting outside our studio with talk like that.' "
Barkley: "That's fine, we'll just run 'em down like dogs."
Johnson: "Oooooh-K ... and we'll be back."
PETA was not so amused.
"It was alarming to say he would run us down like dogs," Lisa Lange, vice president of communications for PETA in Los Angeles, said Thursday.
"Everybody is automatically better when they play with Shaquille O'Neal. Look at it this way: We haven't heard anything from Devean George or Derek Fisher. Rick Fox retired. All those (Lakers) guys were good players, but they are not nearly as good without Shaquille. We didn't even know (Heat guard) Damon Jones was alive three months ago, and now he's leading the league in thee-point shooting because his man is camped in Shaquille O'Neal's lap."
On the Lakers chances to make the playoffs: "I think the six, seven, eight, nine, and 10 seeds in the West are going to fluctuate a lot in the last couple months, but you can go ahead and plan your vacation after the regular season if you are associated with the Lakers."
"People keep saying I'm crazy as hell, but sooner or later they're going to realize I know what I'm talking about."
.
After TNT's Kenny Smith said that the Indiana Pacers' Jermaine O'Neal believes that he is the best forward in the NBA, Charles Barkley said, "Well, I think I am skinny, but that doesn't mean I am."
Charles to Kenny: "If you think Tony Parker is better than Manu Ginobili, you need to stop drinking before you come in here."
"In the old days, you didn't take two days off for a hangnail or a yeast infection like they do these days. I can't believe a guy would sit out of a game for a broken nose. I played with a broken nose. I strapped one of those head gears on, couldn't see side-to-side, so I took it off like a man and played. I saw Larry Bird do it too. You can't sit out with a broken nose. You don't need your nose to play basketball."
Said to Karl Malone: "Hey, have you totally given up on the Rogaine thing?"
"Danny Ainge has to realize that some of the best basketball players are some of the best dumb guys in the world. Until he learns that, the Boston Celtics will not be successful. You don't go to Harvard and Yale to get great basketball players...you go there to get lawyers and accountants. You have to go to the ghetto to get the good players. You have to learn that Danny Ainge." -- Barkley, on Ainge's plan of finding "smart" players.
"I owe basketball every single thing in my life, because I grew up a poor kid. All these kids aren't going to make it to the NBA, but one thing about sports is it can give you a chance to go to college. And that's what I think more kids should use college for instead of trying to make it a profession."
Charles Barkley: "I'm so sick of fat people."
Kenny Smith: "Why? You can't live with yourself?"
Barkley: "First of all, they killed Oreos. You know they can't make the Double-Stuff Oreos anymore because fat people can't keep their mouths shut. Now they're killing the McDonald's super-size. Can you believe that? Just because fat people are lazy and don't work out and can't keep they're mouths shut, they have to ruin it for everybody. They'll probably kill ice cream next! Is that my fault they can't stop eating? I'm so sick of these fat people suing these companies. Stop eating!"
Barkley - "Byron Scott just got out of the hospital."
EJ - "For what?"
Barkley - "He got stabbed in the back."
"Carson, if you're watching, I would prefer to be called a big, young, strapping lad." - Charles Barkley, on being called "cute" by Carson Kressley from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."
"You should be able to go and pick out one fan a game, and just beat the hell out of him." - Barkley, after watching footage of Denver fans throwing garbage on Latrell Sprewell.
Charles: How much do I have to pay if I leave the bench to kick his (Bill Laimbeer's) butt.
A teammate: I think 150,000 dollars.
Charles: I'll do it!
"Most sportswriters don't know their ass from a hole in the ground."
"Kobe Bryant is like OJ Simpson - you know, the guy who killed those two people."
"Back in the old days, Paul Silas and I almost had a couple of fist fights and I would have kicked his ass. If I was Sam Mitchell, I'd just get (Alston) in the locker room one night, mano y mano, and just kick his ass...but that's just me."
Latrell Sprewell: "You don't know anything about fashion, Charles."
Charles Barkley: "Both you and Craig Sager think that when you put on a famous designer's clothing, we are supposed to give you a pass on it."
Sprewell: "Hey, a lot of people like what I wear."
Barkley: "Is that Prada?"
Sprewell: "That's right."
Barkley: "What is that...the black J.C. Penney's?"
December 2, 2004
How can it be fair to ask fans of a team that already stinks to pay full price for a seat, and then be told to 'be patient' while a 19-year-old kid learns how to be a professional? Ticket buyers don't get to say, 'I'll pay you full price in four years when Kwame Brown or Eddie Curry is ready to play.' The fans have every right to resent that.
On James Jones logging heavy minutes for the depleted Pacers: "I didn't know he was alive until this week."
November 24, 2004
Ainge: (to Barkley in the locker room) How is your back?
Barkley: Like your face. It needs surgery!
Anytime a fan touches you, you have the right to beat the hell out of him.
November 15, 2004
This thing with Ron Artest, it's just stupid whether you're old school or new school. I would love to see one of these young guys defend this -- then I'd know they were stupid also.
October 29, 2004
On rumors of Micheal Jordan coming back: "That would be stupid. ... Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever. I love him like a brother. ... (But) if he came back again, it would just be like: 'You know what, I just can't give it up. I can't give adulation up.' And that would disappoint me greatly. I'm very content being as good as I was. If Michael can't be content being the greatest basketball player ever, it becomes a point where your ego just runs amok."
Thanks Joe!
On becoming a GM of an NBA team soon. Where? "Anywhere I want to. I'll tell you what - I could do a lot better than some of the [expletives] who are running teams right now."
October 5, 2004
On a Vegas golf course...
Tiger: I hear they're going to build a new Super Kmart here.
Barkley: Yeah, where?
Tiger: In the space between your ball and mine.
Thanks Fendi!
I always say two things: Black people will borrow money and not pay you back and white people cannot dance. If somebody wants to think that is racist, I said it in humor and jest. If somebody wants to make it into racism, I don't worry about it.
September 2, 2004
About Craig Sager wearing a reflective silver suit to the 2001 NBA All-Star game: "I don't have anything against black people, white people or any kind of people, but when you start letting pimps interview people, that's where I draw the line."
Thanks Chente! (this has to be one of the all-time great Charles lines)
On a TNT telecast a few years ago, Kenny Smith was going on and on about his two championship rings. He said that, in a show of appreciation for their efforts, he gave one ring to his father and the other to his brother because "they were the ones who helped me get them". Charles quipped, "You should have given them to Hakeem."
On the USA Olympics Team's recent Olympic performance: "It's a copout to say we didn't send our best team over there. They just don't know how to play. If these guys aren't scoring, they don't do anything else to help their team win."
July 8, 2004
I trust the public to have a little common sense. If they're not smart enough to have a sense of humor, they're just stupid and I don't worry about it.
Thanks Howard!
The only problem I ever had with the Rockets was all those coin flips or lotteries. They must have had two or three rabbit's feet in their pockets all those years. How in the hell do they keep getting all those centers? Moses (Malone), Ralph (Sampson), Hakeem. Now Yao (Ming).
June 24, 2004
On Detroit Piston point guard Isiah Thomas: "Isiah will cut your balls off in order to win."
Thanks Ryan!
On his eating habits: "People say I eat a lot. I really don't. More or less I just eat all the time."
Thanks Ryan!
On his image: "Sooner or later, I'll probably get what i deserve. I'll probably be dead and gone, but people will say, 'That mother was awesome.' "
Thanks Ryan!
On being late to a January 19, 1987, Philadelphia 76ers pregame meeting before a game against the Phoenix Suns: "These games interfere with my soap operas."
Thanks Ryan!
To a heckler that said he would never win a championship ring: "Yeah, but I've got $20 Million, so I can afford to buy one."
Thanks Ryan!
June 15, 2004
Barkley never worries about being politically correct. "If you don't want an honest answer," he said, "don't ask the question."
I made a birdie, all hell broke loose, that's when the sky fell in. I can't remember the last time I made a birdie.
I'll tell you what was really funny was ... we always thought it was an insult when they put (Bird) on one of us, because he was the worst defensive player ever.
Barkley, to George Clooney: "I'm depressed, I finally met a guy better looking than me."
Thanks Jake!
June 7, 2004
When you have that big monster [Shaq] on your team, even when he doesn't want the ball you should throw it to him.
My life is fun, man. I played basketball for a living, and now I get to talk about it. You can't beat that.
Politics is too corrupt. You know how you can tell politics is corrupt? President Bush is going to raise $250 million for a job that pays $400,000. Now tell me there isn't something wrong there.
You can't leave all that money to your freeloading family. When it's time for the Chuckster to keel over, I'll be dead broke.
Golf is a technique. You can go to the corner 7-Eleven store, take the fat, bald guy from behind the counter and teach him to play golf. But you ain't gonna teach him to make the NBA
Ernie (to the panel): In one word, who's gonna win the Heat/Hornets series?
Michael Redd: Miami
Kenny Smith: Toss-up
Barkley: That's two words, stupid!
Karl Malone and Gary Payton were great in their day, but they're not in their day.
Thanks Jan (from Poland!!)!
May 26, 2004
They (the Lakers) don't care if Michael Olowokandi gets points. If he explodes... he's gonna get 8.
We as black folks have to do a better job... . Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard...
"The Republicans are full of it. The Democrats are a little less full of it."
On her 17-year old daughter not dating yet: "Thank goodness. I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted."
"I always thought if a big man can't get 10 rebounds a night, he shouldn't be playing. Any big guy who can't get 10 rebounds a night, that [ticks] me off. That's why the game [ticks] me off at times, because rebounding is strictly just hard work. Come on now, a big guy's gotta get 10 rebounds. That's hard work and effort. I always thought scoring was overrated. If you want to score a lot of points, all you have to be is a gunner."
[B]Asked if he had ever been in the governor's office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. "They don't let many black people in the governor's mansion in Alabama," he said, "unless they're cleaning." [/B
A classic '92 Dream Team quote, after the USA played Angola and Charles had elbowed an Angolan national team member in the chest. When asked about it, he responded: "I shouldn't have done that. He probably hasn't eaten in weeks."
On Stromile Swift and his yet unrealized potential: "He's one of those guys. We're gonna be saying for years it's time for him and the time is going to be over. It's frustrating for me, man, when I see a guy with that kind of ability. I think we can fairly say the jury is still out, but we've been saying that for (six) years. You know, one of my favorite lines on television and he's in that category, is, man, that boy can run and jump. So can a deer. But I'd never put a deer in a game."
"I do have one question: Have you ever seen Gollum, John Clayton and Sam Cassell in the same place before?"
"It's always about the superstars. When you went to Chicago, you weren't gonna mess with Michael. When you go to LA, you weren't gonna mess with Magic. When in Boston, you weren't gonna mess with Larry. But when you go to Houston, you could beat the hell outta Kenny."
Just before the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship began: "I'm trying to get my game to peak tomorrow. My only goal at these tournaments is not to come in dead last."
July 11, 2006
"The only thing Christian Laettner has in common with Larry Bird is they both pee standing up."
At one point in the season, a player threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was penalized. They showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: "You know why that little girl's crying? It's because she's thinking 'my daddy's a wussy'".
June 16, 2006
To Kenny: "Tiny Archibald didn't even know you were alive before today...(when you called) he said, 'Kenny who?'"
[From the 2005 playoffs] "Steve Nash is willing his team to win. He has that mentality of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Magic Johnson, and says 'we're not going to lose tonight.' It is fun for me to watch because he represents everything that is good about the game."
[From the 2005 playoffs] Kenny Smith on the Fruit of the Loom label taped to Barkley's suit: "So now we know (if you wear) boxers or briefs."
Barkley: "(My underwear) don't even have sizes anymore, they just say 'HUGE.'"
June 07, 2006
"I'm rich, man. I can't be hitting people. It's a liability issue. Especially with all these white people in the crowd at golf tournaments. I can see the headlines: 'Charles Barkley kills white dude with a golf ball.' I don't need to be looking for my Al Cowlings."
June 2,2006
Ernie Johnson: "Okay, you're threatening to hit me again."
Charles: "Threatening is when you won't do it. I'll do it."
Barkley: Reggie was the stunt double in Brokeback Mountain.
Ernie Johnson, on Reggie Evans being caught grabbing the rocks of Chris Kaman: "(Reggie Evans) got caught with his hand in the cookie jar."
Charles Barkley: "Ernie, I don't know where you get your cookies at but the rest of us don't get ours there."
On a new TV show called "My Boys", which starred a blonde, Jordana Spiro, as a sportswriter. "Sportswriters don't look like that. They’re more like the troll variety."
On Steve Nash: "I’ve only said this two times in my life, but that's a bad ass white boy."
After a Brokeback Mountain joke showing Barkley and Kenny's heads superimposed onto the bodies of the film’s gay cowboys: "I was behind Kenny! I was the Mountain part. He was the Brokeback."
"Do I have a gambling problem? I do have a gambling problem, but it's not really a problem because I can afford to gamble."
"He (Popeye Jones) got ears like Reggie Miller and Grant Hill - they can all hear with the best of them."
When asked about his daughter getting to the age where she's going to start dating, Charles said, "I figure if I kill the first one, word will get out."
At a press conference before the Dream Team played Angola: "I don't know anything about Angola, but I know they're in trouble."
While with the 76ers he was asked what the game plan was. He said, "to score more points than the other team".
Talking about the Portland Trailblazers and their inconsistent play: "You never know what team is gonna show up on a given night, but you can bet they will be high."
I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove.
March 23, 2006
"Hey Kevin, let me tell you somethin. There are subliminal messages, and there are real messages. Like, if I hit somebody in the head with a hammer, that's a real message. When I offer you Altoids..."
"All those critics of Steve Nash last year, they should all shut up."
Kevin Harlan: "Here is Hakim Warrick... from Syracuse University."
Charles: "I gotta call Jim Boeheim. They gotta get a weight room up there."
Barkley (on David Letterman): I'm black and when I was growin up a lotta black people weren't sayin we gotta hurry up and grow up and move to Oklahoma. You never heard that, Dave! You know? We wanted to go to New York City, Philadelphia, Miami... none of the brothers said let's grow up and move to Oklahoma.
Letterman: I assume there are black people in Oklahoma.
Barkley: We got to assume that! We never been there!
At the dunk contest, as Josh Smith put a piece of tape down a ridiculous distance away from the hoop and the guys thought he was trying to jump from that point, Charles says: "That's impossible... that's like Dick Cheney trying to find another hunting partner."
On politicians: "You get two rich guys arguing over who's conservative and who's liberal - and you go, now, they just argued for an hour, and nothing got solved."
Reggie Miller: "Gonzaga. That's my dark horse."
Charles: "They ain't that dark."
"When you play for the Wizards, [Gilbert Arenas] is like Michael Jackson. He's playin with a lot of Tito Jacksons."
After Kenny agrees with Charles about a statement during Andre Igoudala's dunk -
Kenny: "I think that's the first time we agreed on anything"
Charles: "We both think you're ugly"
Thanks Rufus!
Kevin: "Iguodala was on fire!"
Charles: "He wasn't on fire. He was just excited he got to shoot in a game."
On Andre Iguodala scoring 30 points at the Rookie-Sophomore game: "He's just getting all that shooting out of his system before he goes back to work on Tuesday."
There was an on-screen graphic of the huge contracts the Knicks have doled out to account for one of the league's worst records, to which Charles replies, "I guess $123 million doesn't go as far as it used to."
"That's not a flagrant! I've been kissed harder than that... By Kenny!"
-Sir Charles while watching a recap from Miami @ Minnisota game while DWade was fouled.
"Being black or white isn't an accomplishment. What you do with your life — or what you accomplish with your life — dictates what you should be proud of."
Barkley on Seattle Supersonics guard Ray Allen in the three-point contest: "He's got the most effortless jump shot in the NBA. His shot is like my golf swing - no wasted motions."
Reggie Miller, after reigning three-point shooting contest champion and New York Knicks guard Quentin Richardson was eliminated in the first round: "To sum it up short, that's the way the Knicks season has gone all year."
Barkley: "Short? I don't even think midgets are that short."
"When I saw [Nowitzki] in Germany before he got to the NBA, I told him 'I'll give you any amount of money you want to go to Auburn'."
Kenny Smith: "The Knicks beat Detroit the other day."
Barkley: "Even a broken clock is right twice a day."
At halftime of the all star game, in response to seeing Beyonce in the crowd, Barkley said, "All I wanna know is when ya see someone that pretty, how can you go to Brokeback Mountain?"
When David Letterman asked if he was looking forward to attending All Star weekend, Charles replied "I am now. I was supposed to go hunting with Dick Cheney."
February 07, 2006
"I just wish all these young black kids would realize how significant it is to stop acting a fool out there, killing each other, not getting their education. You know, people have died to put us in a situation to be successful."
When asked to say something about the L.A. Sports Arena: "This place? Nothing positive. OK, I want to say something positive. It's positively a dump."
"I'm not going to argue with you, Ernie. I'll hit you in the left eye."
On Allen Iverson wearing a throwback jersey: "You know when you get a certain age you shouldn't be allowed to wear throwback jerseys. Throwbacks don't look good at the parent-teacher meetings"
January 10, 2006
"Black people get treated like crap in this country. White folks who don't have money get treated like crap. So listen, if you don't like it - Don't watch! Okay Ernie, let's talk about basketball."
Thanks Kenny!
"You know like you go to a big city they have like Ruth's Chris or Morton's Steakhouse? If you in a small town you gonna get a Sizzler and that's it."
Charles (To Kenny) : We both think you're ugly
Kenny: I'd rather be smart than beautiful
Charles: Well you're 0-2 (0 for 2)
"I'm gonna go home and get naked again in the mirror cuz I don't look like Rerun or Al Roker. There's some deception going on. I'm not fat y'all! I'm big-boned."
November 30, 2005
On Phil Jackson handing out books to his team: "He needs to give that team a Bible. Only God can help them. They're terrible."
Here's one in response to San Antonio's opening night victory over the Nuggets, which includes Reggie and Charles trying to pronounce Fabricio Oberto's name.
Charles: "That's bad news for the West."
Ernie: "It certainly is."
Charles: "Because San Antonio, number one, with Tim Duncan and Ginobili playing basketball all summer...They won it last year, and they're much better, I think Nick Van Exel is going to be a great addition, and Michael Finley, and I can't pronounce that big kid's name, but he's gonna play well also."
Reggie: "Francisco Oberto!"
Charles: "Oh, you bilingual now!"
November 11, 2005
"Hey first of all, I love Mark Cuban. He ain't never gonna know more about basketball than me. I ain't never gonna have as much money as him, I'll never know more about computers, but he'll live to be 1000, and he'll never know more than us two about basketball. If he knew that, he wouldn't have put that little 'soft cake' team together."
November 7, 2005
After seeing Mark Cuban wearing that ugly blue jacket: "Wow, all that money and he dresses like Craig Sager."
November 2, 2005
After the spurs received their 04-05 championship rings: "They [The NBA] could save some time and just give em the rings they're gonna give em next year."
October 29, 2005
"If I didn't have my gambling problem I would never work at all." Thanks Ryan!
"...that light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it's a train."
Jay Leno - "You ever bet on something and just said: This is crazy?"
Barkley - "Sunday night Jay. I bet on the Houston Texans. I have no idea what I was feelin. I'm like, I call my guy I said, 'Houston's gotta win a game sooner or later don't they?' I'm thinkin ok they on national television. Every jock gets excited when they on national television. There's no way you gonna embarass yourself... I was wrong."
Ernie: "Here's Shaquile O'Neal, he's put on 15 pounds in the offseason, all muscle he says."
Charles: "That's what all fat people say - 'It's all muscle'"
To Kenny the Jet, who was late to work: "When we say go on at seven, that don't mean black folk time."
On hypnotism today on the Oprah Winfrey Show, in regards to his terrible golf swing:
"I went to go get hypnotised so I would get rid of the yips with my golf swing....all i got was a good nap."
October 14, 2005
According to the Chicago Sun-Times TNT's Charles Barkley entered Rosebud Steakhouse in Chicago on Monday night and said to the bartender: "Why don’t I buy everybody a drink to congratulate them on their White Sox, because I know there’s not a lot of winning teams in town right now."
On why he doesn't vote: "You're voting for who'll do the best for you, and I don't like that system. You should vote to help everybody."
While watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: "Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can't just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the 'hood."
When asked why blacks excel at basketball: "It doesn't cost anything to play."
"Sports are a detriment to blacks, not a positive. You have a society now where every black kid in the country thinks the only way he can be successful is through athletics."
October 10, 2005
Post Hurricane Katrina:
"A lot of kids just think about playing sports instead of being doctors, lawyers or even reporters. That's why you have to get your education. You cannot be at the mercy of the government."
"It's a really tough situation - sad and unfortunate, but hopefully, it's a wake-up call for people who are less fortunate. I stress a lot you have to get your education, especially black kids, poor white kids and Hispanic kids."
"You know what's amazing to me? America. There have been so many people who have stepped up, and I'm just proud to be an American. Yeah, there were some mistakes made, but I don't play the blame game. Let's move forward and rebuild New Orleans."
[The reports I've read have mentioned Charles saying he was going to be donating $1 million to relief efforts, with $250,000 going to a charity in Alabama. He also planned to buy five houses in Atlanta to provide housing for evacuees.]
Barkley: "I tell you what's going to be an interesting team. The Utah Jazz."
Kenny: "Good interesting or bad interesting?"
Barkley: "I don't know yet."
[B]When Charles was playing for the Rockets and the Lakers needed to win one more game to finish up that series (early playoffs), Shaq and he were at the free throw line. Houston was about to win which meant LA had to stay there one more night. Problem was, LA had already packed up and booked flights back to LA, assuming it would be an easy game...Barkley was jawing at Shaq as usual and someone asked him later what he said:
[Paraphrased] "I was just asking Shaq if he needed a place to stay here in Houston."]
September 9, 2005
On Supreme Court nominee John Roberts: "I'm disappointed that George Bush is going to get to pick, most likely, two Supreme Court Justices. I'm very disappointed in that. It's a good thing I don't need an abortion and it's a good thing I don't need an affirmative action job."
Chris Rose: You used to be called The Round Mound of Rebound. Just how round are you these days?
Charles Barkley: A few doughnuts away from a complete circle.
July 22, 2005
"People who talk on the radio are idiots. It's the worst thing that ever happened to sports -- talk radio."
On no longer being a republican: "That was until they went crazy, before all those religious fanatics took over. My man (President Bush) started a war for no reason. He's getting innocent kids killed over there."
July 8, 2005
[From STEVE KING - Philadelphia Daily News]: When asked about a possible career as an analyst in another field - maybe golf - Barkley said: "Trust me, there are enough jackasses on television right now who think they know about every sport, so I'm going to stick to basketball... If you don't play the sport, then you're just a guy voicing his opinion. Dan Marino would be great on Monday Night Football, but I wouldn't want him coming over to the NBA."
On playing a celebrity golf tournament: "As long as Chris Webber is playing, I know I won't come in dead last. I know I can at least beat him."
On the camera shot of Steve Nash's wife and twin baby daughters:
EJ: And there we see the wife of the MVP and his newborn twins.
Charles: She's an MVP too!
July 5, 2005
Sir Charles, on Bill Maher's show, about the Democratic Presidential Debates, "Al Sharpton need to get out, too. And that sistah-girl (Carrol Moseley Braun). Hey, I love Al Sharpton and I love the sistah-girl, but hey, we can't even get black coaches in the NFL, you think we gonna have a black president?"
Discussing the revisionist, positive views on Ronald Reagan:
"Let me say this on that. I don't go to funerals anymore. Because, every time you go to a funeral, even if the person's an asshole you have to sit there and listen to what a great guy they were. And, that's why I refuse to go to funerals anymore. THAT'S THE TRUTH! (He) can be the biggest asshole in the world, but when you go to someone's funeral, you say, 'I'm at the wrong funeral!'"
Thanks Joe!
During the NBA finals, Ernie Johnson points to a sign that reads:
"Barkley = Dumb, Van Gundy = Dumber"
Barkley responds, "Hey, at least that guy knows who I am. I have no idea who that guy is."
June 21, 2005
When asked by Bob Costas why he wants to be the governor of Alabama: "I want to help poor people, Bob. Somehow, I'm going to help poor people."
Charles on Jim Brown: "He’s not a martyr. He’s an ass."
When Chuck was asked by the judge if he had any regrets about throwing guy through a window in Orlando he said, "I regret we weren't on a higher floor."
Earlier in Shaq's career, Chuck's advice: "He needs to learn the 2 words I tried to teach Oliver Miller....I'M FULL!"
June 9, 2005 - Sorry for the delay - I was on vacation!
Summarizing Hootie Johnson's stance on keeping women out of Augusta: "Translating it into Ebonics. ... What he's saying is, 'We are golf, we've always been racist and sexist.'"
"I hope a lot of these young kids look at [Dwayne Wade], who went to college. Everybody is in such a hurry. Hey, the money is not going anywhere... and if you go to the right college, you can get paid there... Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee"
New Jersey and Washington never looked at a scouting report," Barkley said, referring to the book on Wade. "Every time Dwyane Wade goes left, he stops and shoots a step-back jumper. Every time he goes right, he goes all the way to the basket. I don't think any of these NBA players today ever look at a scouting report. This is just very simple and they're just dumb.
EJ: "The Wizards have not won a playoff series since 1988."
Barkley: "That's only because they sucked."
Kenny: "I think New Jersey has a chance to beat them. If they had Vince Carter all year they'd be the three seed."
Barkley: "Have you been drinking again?"
"Isiah Thomas is building a championship team... too bad it's in San Antonio."
Charles Barkley on the Nazr Mohammed deal.
Ernie: "We're on our way to Detroit, aren't we?"
Barkley: "Damn, I gotta get my bulletproof vest."
Charles Barkley on TNT about winning the 1993 NBA Most Valuable Player award: "Oh, that's the paperweight in my office. That was a great honor and the best year of my basketball life. I played with Magic on the Dream Team, I beat the hell out of Kenny [Smith] one night in a nightclub... that was one of the better years of my life."
Thanks John!
Charles responding to an Orlando Sentinel poll that showed that 62% of respondents did not want the Orlando Magic to re-sign free agent Shaquille O'Neal: "Just shows you that 62% of the people in Orlando are stupid."
On his attempts to lose weight: "I'm trying, but food just tastes too damn good!"
Sir Charles to Steve Kerr: "Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn't shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive."
After TNT showed a stat that Charles had the lowest career three point percentage amongst players who took at least 250 3 point attempts in the playoffs - "To whoever put that stat together... 'Yo Mama'".
"I saw what the governor makes. That's like four hands of blackjack."
-- Charles Barkley on why he wasn't seriously considering becoming the Governor of Alabama
"I got two pet peeves: If you watch American Idol, or you're one of those doofuses who dress up as Star Wars and sleep outside, you're a stone-cold loser."
"I thought it was very weird the way Tony Parker came in today. He was very casual, hugging on his girlfriend a little bit. First of all, the Spurs are not the defending champions. You don't wear an old shirt from two years ago I might add."
(In the TNT studio when EJ and Kenny brought up the fact that he knew something about throwing people through windows) "He poured a drink on my head! I should've KILLED him!!"
TNT shows a clip of Scottie Pippen being honored by the Chicago Bulls. Barkley remarks on Pippen's suit, "That's a good looking suit, Scottie looks good from the neck down."
"Poor People and minorities tend to vote Democrat. That's why they're poor."
After hearing Kenny & Charles mocking foreign-born NBA draftee's poor English languague skills during their post-selection interviews on TNT in 2002, Commisioner Stern walked up to the podium in between picks, and in front of the live television audience as well as the crowd at MSG, said "You know, when Kenny and Charles first came into the league, they didn't speak English either."
"People try to compare (Wade) to Michael Jordan, but he's not. Michael Jordan would have guarded Rip Hamilton. Miami said, 'We're not going to put him on Rip Hamilton because he would use too much energy.' [Jordan] guarded Reggie Miller, who is better than Rip Hamilton, and he never got tired. That was why Michael Jordan was the greatest player."
TNT showed a clip of Allen Iverson saying he was so happy, he wanted to kiss his new coach on the lips. Ernie then asked the crew if they ever felt the same way. Charles said, "I played for some ugly coaches: Billy Cunningham, Jim Lynam, and Rudy Tomjonavich".
After Ernie asks if Charles has ever been to another country: "I've been to Alabama, that's like a third world country."
During the Bruno's Memorial Classic Pro-Am: "Cat [Reddick, a female soccer player] was fantastic but when you lose to a woman, it means you suck at something. There are two times when you know you suck at sports -- when you can't beat the women and when you can't beat the smart kids." and later "Like a couple of years ago when I went to the Auburn-Georgia Tech game. We lost and I knew we were in trouble. We couldn't beat the smart guys."
Ernie was talking about Ray Allen's complaints of Bruce Bowen.
Charles: It's called defense, Ernie. I wouldn't know anything about it, personally. But I've heard it through the grapevine.
May 10, 2005
You can't compare preseason to regular season. Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money."
On the 1991 Indiana Pacers: "They could be scary if they ever learn how to play basketball, which they haven't yet."
"These guys who have three or four babies by different women should have their balls cut off."
Summing up management for the Philadelphia 76ers: "We can't have beer in the locker rooms. I can't have a beer after I run up and down the court for two hours, but they're going to serve it to the guy who's got a wife and two kids to drive home. That is so gutless. They're only concerned about making money."
As part of a segue for some team that had just lost their series, Kenny Smith said: "Oh look... I got a big one" and he reeled up the sign that said "gone fishing".
Then Barkley said: "That's probably the first time you have had a chance to say that."
After Kenny Smith expressed surprised at Barkley's ability to pronounce Suns guard Leandro Barbosa's name, Charles replied: "I'm bilingual. I speak profanity and English."
I don't have the exact line, but Sir Charles said that if Dwayne Wade is Robin to Shaq's Batman, then Damon Jones must be Alfred [Batman's butler].
"Mark Jackson says he loves his fiancee so much he would give up basketball for her. Not me. I love my wife but she can't pay the bills like this NBA money can. I'd have to pick John Nash (general manager at the time of the 76ers, Barkley's then-team) over her."
During the 1992 Olympics in Spain: "I really miss America. I miss hearing if anybody's shot somebody lately."
Also during the '92 Olympics: "Christian (Laettner) is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys."
May 5, 2005
To Kenny: "Oh man! I can't stand the X-Files! I don't believe in Extra-Terrestrials... until I saw your girlfriend one night. She needs to phone home."
Kenny: Well my brother vincent always told me...
Charles: Is he still a skycap?
On the Washington Wizard's poor playoff performance in the early games of the Bulls/Wizards series: "They have the worst shot selection. They take more one-pass shots than any team that I've seen in a long time. No one can get in a rhythm. It's like they're going one-on-one every time. It's frustrating to watch."
Later, he told the Washington Post: "I don't have to defend [what I said]. The way they play is horrible to watch. I picked them to win the series but I don't know if they can win it now. When I voice my opinion, if people don't like it, they know what they can kiss. There is a reason that teams don't win playoff games ... because they aren't any good."
Thanks Chris! (via the brilliant daily madness that is Jay Mariotti's column)
On Magic Johnson's return to basketball: "We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."
Charles is recalling a 1986 Philly playoff loss at the hands of the Washington Bullets.
Charles: "That game, we were up big with 3 minutes to play, and they scored 18 straight points and had a game-winning three at the buzzer..."
Kenny: "What happened? Did your sphincter tighten in that game?"
Charles: "No, Doctor J's did."
April 28, 2005
"That boy'd be a fool to marry that damn runaway bride."
April 28, 2005
Kenny: "I worked out with my brother, Vincent, when I was growing up -"
Charles: "What do you think this is, Family Tree Hour? People at home don't care who the hell your brother is!"
April 27, 2005
"I don't think there's any doubt. Anybody in their right mind knows I'm the best forward in basketball. Well, the only person comparable to me is Karl Malone, but his body is so different from mine. Even my wife loves his body, and that's the main reason I say I'm the best. With a body like that, he is supposed to be awesome. With a body like mine, I'm supposed to be a couch potato."
To Kenny Smith: "What kind of self-respecting man walks around with only $20 bucks on him?"
"Of course Yao hasn't gone up against guys his own size, doesn't she realize there aren't any black guys over there [in China]?"
Thanks Ian!
Charles: "You mean you don't teach your kids defense?"
Quin Snyder: "No, we are taking after you, Charles."
"Craig Sager is the only guy on TV that can't get a date. It is almost impossible to be on TV and not be able to get a date."
"Hey Commissioner, I would like to tell you that I take great pride that I can say I knew you when your hair was all black!"
"It ain't even close. Kobe Bryant is a really good player, but to compare him -- I know they have to hype up today's athletes -- but it ain't even close." - about Bryant being compared to Michael Jordan
April 12, 2005
"On learning that Don MacLean tested positive for steroids in 2000 (remember MacLean from UCLA?): "Don MacLean. I've seen Don MacLean naked, and he doesn't use steroids."
"I know we have to work a lot during the playoffs, and that's part of working. But I look at those five months of vacation where I do nothing but play golf and go to Vegas and lay on the bench and be the big sex symbol that I am."
While honoring Cotton Fitzsimmons, Charles tells a story about his Phoenix Suns days: "He had the roof down. I was like, 'It's like 122 degrees out here. Is it always this hot?' Cotton said, 'You’re going to hell one day, so this will help you get used to it.'"
and
"He meant a great deal to me because he brought me to Phoenix, the best thing to ever happen in my life."
Greg Gumbel: " Happy St Patrick's Day".
Barkley: "Great. Another reason for the Irish to go out and drink."
After Ben Gordon made a floater in the Bulls vs. Cavs game...
Charles: That is one shot that every player should learn
Kenny: Yea I am teaching my daughter and son that shot.
Charles: I thought your daughter and son were the same person.
Charles on how so many NBA players think they are better than they really are, aka his "Playboy Bunny Theory":
"Most guys think they are married to Playboy bunnies, when in reality they're married to rabbits."
Question: Any chance down the road of you succeeding David Stern as Commissioner of the NBA?
Barkley: I think the NBA has been very fortunate to have David Stern, and I'm not just blowing smoke. He is easily the best commissioner in sports today. But I am against working. I think working is overrated, so I have no intention right now, or at any time in the near future, to get a real job."
The famous lines from Chuck's infamous tv commercial: "These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it."
"My family got all over me because they said Bush is only for the rich people. Then I reminded them, 'Hey, I'm rich'."
"I don't care what people think. People are stupid."
Thanks Ian!
"Colonel Sanders is the greatest white man that ever lived."
"I always preface anything I say with 'it's my opinion' I'm not an expert. There are too many guys on television who think they're experts."
"If I offend someone, I'm not trying to do it. If they get offended, they'll get over it."
March 16, 2005
According to Sir Charles, Chris Webber has "become a 6-10 jump shooter. Get your butt in the box and take the ball to the basket."
March 2, 2005
At All Star Weekend, watching Voshon Leonard shoot threes:
Kenny Smith: Voshon Lenard doesn't appear to have the conditioning to hold up in the second round.
Charles: He's in the condition to hold up his pants.
February 24, 2005
At All Star Weekend, watching Voshon Leonard shoot threes:
Kenny: You can see he put on a couple pounds.
Chuck: A couple? That's an understatement. That's like calling the Titanic a small boating accident. We could wear the same underwear now!
Talking about Karl Malone and his retirement on Jay Leno:
Jay Leno: "Karl's in great shape though!"
Charles Barkley: "Me too. Round is a shape!"
Thanks Joe!
"I hope whoever was in charge of the Halftime show is getting their resume ready" - Charles Barkley on the Country Music Halftime show @ The 2005 NBA All Star Game
Thanks [email protected]!
When Chuck was asked if he'd ever used steroids: "No, never. I've always had to try and lose weight. I've never heard the words, 'Charles, you need to bulk up.'"
On the NHL season being cancelled: "I will always side with the players against the owners because the owners are crooks. Players work their behinds off."
"That's the same Minnesota team that was a couple of games away from the Finals last year. Do they think that suddenly Flip no longer knows how to coach? That's just stupid. He did not become a bad coach overnight. They should have broken up that team months ago. It's clear they have quit."
Ernie Johnson said relates a Barkley moment:
"Like the night he came out on the set at halftime and started eating a hamburger as his own personal protest of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). He said something to the effect that animals were 'only good for eating and testing,' to which I replied, 'You know you might have 'em protesting outside our studio with talk like that.' "
Barkley: "That's fine, we'll just run 'em down like dogs."
Johnson: "Oooooh-K ... and we'll be back."
PETA was not so amused.
"It was alarming to say he would run us down like dogs," Lisa Lange, vice president of communications for PETA in Los Angeles, said Thursday.
"Everybody is automatically better when they play with Shaquille O'Neal. Look at it this way: We haven't heard anything from Devean George or Derek Fisher. Rick Fox retired. All those (Lakers) guys were good players, but they are not nearly as good without Shaquille. We didn't even know (Heat guard) Damon Jones was alive three months ago, and now he's leading the league in thee-point shooting because his man is camped in Shaquille O'Neal's lap."
On the Lakers chances to make the playoffs: "I think the six, seven, eight, nine, and 10 seeds in the West are going to fluctuate a lot in the last couple months, but you can go ahead and plan your vacation after the regular season if you are associated with the Lakers."
"People keep saying I'm crazy as hell, but sooner or later they're going to realize I know what I'm talking about."
.
After TNT's Kenny Smith said that the Indiana Pacers' Jermaine O'Neal believes that he is the best forward in the NBA, Charles Barkley said, "Well, I think I am skinny, but that doesn't mean I am."
Charles to Kenny: "If you think Tony Parker is better than Manu Ginobili, you need to stop drinking before you come in here."
"In the old days, you didn't take two days off for a hangnail or a yeast infection like they do these days. I can't believe a guy would sit out of a game for a broken nose. I played with a broken nose. I strapped one of those head gears on, couldn't see side-to-side, so I took it off like a man and played. I saw Larry Bird do it too. You can't sit out with a broken nose. You don't need your nose to play basketball."
Said to Karl Malone: "Hey, have you totally given up on the Rogaine thing?"
"Danny Ainge has to realize that some of the best basketball players are some of the best dumb guys in the world. Until he learns that, the Boston Celtics will not be successful. You don't go to Harvard and Yale to get great basketball players...you go there to get lawyers and accountants. You have to go to the ghetto to get the good players. You have to learn that Danny Ainge." -- Barkley, on Ainge's plan of finding "smart" players.
"I owe basketball every single thing in my life, because I grew up a poor kid. All these kids aren't going to make it to the NBA, but one thing about sports is it can give you a chance to go to college. And that's what I think more kids should use college for instead of trying to make it a profession."
Charles Barkley: "I'm so sick of fat people."
Kenny Smith: "Why? You can't live with yourself?"
Barkley: "First of all, they killed Oreos. You know they can't make the Double-Stuff Oreos anymore because fat people can't keep their mouths shut. Now they're killing the McDonald's super-size. Can you believe that? Just because fat people are lazy and don't work out and can't keep they're mouths shut, they have to ruin it for everybody. They'll probably kill ice cream next! Is that my fault they can't stop eating? I'm so sick of these fat people suing these companies. Stop eating!"
Barkley - "Byron Scott just got out of the hospital."
EJ - "For what?"
Barkley - "He got stabbed in the back."
"Carson, if you're watching, I would prefer to be called a big, young, strapping lad." - Charles Barkley, on being called "cute" by Carson Kressley from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."
"You should be able to go and pick out one fan a game, and just beat the hell out of him." - Barkley, after watching footage of Denver fans throwing garbage on Latrell Sprewell.
Charles: How much do I have to pay if I leave the bench to kick his (Bill Laimbeer's) butt.
A teammate: I think 150,000 dollars.
Charles: I'll do it!
"Most sportswriters don't know their ass from a hole in the ground."
"Kobe Bryant is like OJ Simpson - you know, the guy who killed those two people."
"Back in the old days, Paul Silas and I almost had a couple of fist fights and I would have kicked his ass. If I was Sam Mitchell, I'd just get (Alston) in the locker room one night, mano y mano, and just kick his ass...but that's just me."
Latrell Sprewell: "You don't know anything about fashion, Charles."
Charles Barkley: "Both you and Craig Sager think that when you put on a famous designer's clothing, we are supposed to give you a pass on it."
Sprewell: "Hey, a lot of people like what I wear."
Barkley: "Is that Prada?"
Sprewell: "That's right."
Barkley: "What is that...the black J.C. Penney's?"
December 2, 2004
How can it be fair to ask fans of a team that already stinks to pay full price for a seat, and then be told to 'be patient' while a 19-year-old kid learns how to be a professional? Ticket buyers don't get to say, 'I'll pay you full price in four years when Kwame Brown or Eddie Curry is ready to play.' The fans have every right to resent that.
On James Jones logging heavy minutes for the depleted Pacers: "I didn't know he was alive until this week."
November 24, 2004
Ainge: (to Barkley in the locker room) How is your back?
Barkley: Like your face. It needs surgery!
Anytime a fan touches you, you have the right to beat the hell out of him.
November 15, 2004
This thing with Ron Artest, it's just stupid whether you're old school or new school. I would love to see one of these young guys defend this -- then I'd know they were stupid also.
October 29, 2004
On rumors of Micheal Jordan coming back: "That would be stupid. ... Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever. I love him like a brother. ... (But) if he came back again, it would just be like: 'You know what, I just can't give it up. I can't give adulation up.' And that would disappoint me greatly. I'm very content being as good as I was. If Michael can't be content being the greatest basketball player ever, it becomes a point where your ego just runs amok."
Thanks Joe!
On becoming a GM of an NBA team soon. Where? "Anywhere I want to. I'll tell you what - I could do a lot better than some of the [expletives] who are running teams right now."
October 5, 2004
On a Vegas golf course...
Tiger: I hear they're going to build a new Super Kmart here.
Barkley: Yeah, where?
Tiger: In the space between your ball and mine.
Thanks Fendi!
I always say two things: Black people will borrow money and not pay you back and white people cannot dance. If somebody wants to think that is racist, I said it in humor and jest. If somebody wants to make it into racism, I don't worry about it.
September 2, 2004
About Craig Sager wearing a reflective silver suit to the 2001 NBA All-Star game: "I don't have anything against black people, white people or any kind of people, but when you start letting pimps interview people, that's where I draw the line."
Thanks Chente! (this has to be one of the all-time great Charles lines)
On a TNT telecast a few years ago, Kenny Smith was going on and on about his two championship rings. He said that, in a show of appreciation for their efforts, he gave one ring to his father and the other to his brother because "they were the ones who helped me get them". Charles quipped, "You should have given them to Hakeem."
On the USA Olympics Team's recent Olympic performance: "It's a copout to say we didn't send our best team over there. They just don't know how to play. If these guys aren't scoring, they don't do anything else to help their team win."
July 8, 2004
I trust the public to have a little common sense. If they're not smart enough to have a sense of humor, they're just stupid and I don't worry about it.
Thanks Howard!
The only problem I ever had with the Rockets was all those coin flips or lotteries. They must have had two or three rabbit's feet in their pockets all those years. How in the hell do they keep getting all those centers? Moses (Malone), Ralph (Sampson), Hakeem. Now Yao (Ming).
June 24, 2004
On Detroit Piston point guard Isiah Thomas: "Isiah will cut your balls off in order to win."
Thanks Ryan!
On his eating habits: "People say I eat a lot. I really don't. More or less I just eat all the time."
Thanks Ryan!
On his image: "Sooner or later, I'll probably get what i deserve. I'll probably be dead and gone, but people will say, 'That mother was awesome.' "
Thanks Ryan!
On being late to a January 19, 1987, Philadelphia 76ers pregame meeting before a game against the Phoenix Suns: "These games interfere with my soap operas."
Thanks Ryan!
To a heckler that said he would never win a championship ring: "Yeah, but I've got $20 Million, so I can afford to buy one."
Thanks Ryan!
June 15, 2004
Barkley never worries about being politically correct. "If you don't want an honest answer," he said, "don't ask the question."
I made a birdie, all hell broke loose, that's when the sky fell in. I can't remember the last time I made a birdie.
I'll tell you what was really funny was ... we always thought it was an insult when they put (Bird) on one of us, because he was the worst defensive player ever.
Barkley, to George Clooney: "I'm depressed, I finally met a guy better looking than me."
Thanks Jake!
June 7, 2004
When you have that big monster [Shaq] on your team, even when he doesn't want the ball you should throw it to him.
My life is fun, man. I played basketball for a living, and now I get to talk about it. You can't beat that.
Politics is too corrupt. You know how you can tell politics is corrupt? President Bush is going to raise $250 million for a job that pays $400,000. Now tell me there isn't something wrong there.
You can't leave all that money to your freeloading family. When it's time for the Chuckster to keel over, I'll be dead broke.
Golf is a technique. You can go to the corner 7-Eleven store, take the fat, bald guy from behind the counter and teach him to play golf. But you ain't gonna teach him to make the NBA
Ernie (to the panel): In one word, who's gonna win the Heat/Hornets series?
Michael Redd: Miami
Kenny Smith: Toss-up
Barkley: That's two words, stupid!
Karl Malone and Gary Payton were great in their day, but they're not in their day.
Thanks Jan (from Poland!!)!
May 26, 2004
They (the Lakers) don't care if Michael Olowokandi gets points. If he explodes... he's gonna get 8.
We as black folks have to do a better job... . Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard...
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