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MILITARY WISDOM
>> Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long
>> commercial flight. After they're airborne and the
>> plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat
>> abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud
>> voice, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married,
>> two sons, both surgeons."
>>
>> After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states
>> through a tight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States
>> Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both Judges."
>>
>> After some thought, the fellow in the center seat
>> decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his
>> eye he proclaims, "Master Gunnery Sergeant, United
>> States Marine Corps, retired. Never married, two sons,
>> both Admirals.
>> -------------
>> During training exercises, the lieutenant who was
>> driving down a muddy back road encountered another
>> jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the
>> wheel.
>>
>> "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he
>> pulled alongside.
>>
>> "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing
>> him the keys, "Yours is."
>> -----------
>> Having just moved into his new office, a pompous,
>> new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman
>> knocked on the door.
>>
>> Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly
>> picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then
>> said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him
>> this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In
>> the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
>> Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the
>> young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
>>
>> "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm
>> just here to hook up your telephone."
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
>> Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
>> Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now
>> let's try it again!
>> Do you have change for a dollar?"
>> Soldier: "No, SIR!"
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>> An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general
>> were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just
>> getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers
>> reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
>> The general shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on
>> me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"
>> The sergeant turned to his barber and said, "Go
>> ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the
>> inside of a whorehouse smells like."
>> -------------------------------------------------------------
>> "Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the
>> bewildered seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged
>> from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so
>> you can come and pee on my grave."
>>
>> "Not me, Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get
>> out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line
>> again!"
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>> The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by
>> plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.
>> "You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the
>> customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent
>> admitted that he had been to France previously.
>> "Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport
>> ready for inspection."
>> The American said, "The last time I was here, I
>> didn't have to show it."
>> "Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your
>> passports on arrival in France!"
>> The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard
>> look. Then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came
>> ashore at Omaha Beach in '44 I couldn't find any
>> Frenchmen to show it to."
>> Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long
>> commercial flight. After they're airborne and the
>> plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat
>> abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud
>> voice, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married,
>> two sons, both surgeons."
>>
>> After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states
>> through a tight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States
>> Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both Judges."
>>
>> After some thought, the fellow in the center seat
>> decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his
>> eye he proclaims, "Master Gunnery Sergeant, United
>> States Marine Corps, retired. Never married, two sons,
>> both Admirals.
>> -------------
>> During training exercises, the lieutenant who was
>> driving down a muddy back road encountered another
>> jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the
>> wheel.
>>
>> "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he
>> pulled alongside.
>>
>> "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing
>> him the keys, "Yours is."
>> -----------
>> Having just moved into his new office, a pompous,
>> new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman
>> knocked on the door.
>>
>> Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly
>> picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then
>> said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him
>> this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In
>> the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
>> Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the
>> young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
>>
>> "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm
>> just here to hook up your telephone."
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
>> Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
>> Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now
>> let's try it again!
>> Do you have change for a dollar?"
>> Soldier: "No, SIR!"
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>> An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general
>> were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just
>> getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers
>> reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
>> The general shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on
>> me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"
>> The sergeant turned to his barber and said, "Go
>> ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the
>> inside of a whorehouse smells like."
>> -------------------------------------------------------------
>> "Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the
>> bewildered seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged
>> from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so
>> you can come and pee on my grave."
>>
>> "Not me, Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get
>> out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line
>> again!"
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>> The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by
>> plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.
>> "You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the
>> customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent
>> admitted that he had been to France previously.
>> "Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport
>> ready for inspection."
>> The American said, "The last time I was here, I
>> didn't have to show it."
>> "Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your
>> passports on arrival in France!"
>> The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard
>> look. Then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came
>> ashore at Omaha Beach in '44 I couldn't find any
>> Frenchmen to show it to."