Joke

[Spark]

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One
day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex,they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes,he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the
grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house."Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'cLocK." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".

[Spark]

There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted After months of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He
went to his wife and told her there was no way he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife jus smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time!"

[Spark]

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated,he made an amazing discovery. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz", said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." With that, the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's penis. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase. "Oh my God!" the wife screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"

[Meg30]

[Spark]

BEST DRINKING STORY EVER


From the state where drinking and driving is considered a sport,
comes a true story from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbor-
hood bar. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the
bar so intoxicated he could barely walk. The man stumbled around
the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into.
He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left
the bar and drove off.

Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn
and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a
few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few
more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled
out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started
up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the
man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement
the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed
alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany
me to the police station; this breathalyzer equipment must be
broken."

"I doubt it", said the man, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

[Lsufan]

Very Good Pappy!!!



I'm affraid that Post #5 might give KB and his friends a new idea

[Spark]

[KazDog]

Funny stuff Spark....You're a regular Jan Murray

Bwhaaa.....KAZ

[CheCheBoFumbe]

as a golfer I love it. but don't think it will work on Mrs CheChe.

[Spark]

Try it ... Let me know how it worked for you Che Che ... hahaha

[Meg30]

Try it ... Let me know how it worked for you Che Che ... hahaha

there's no mud out side my condo

[Spark]

there's no mud out side my condo

hahahaha Oh but there is ...

[CheCheBoFumbe]

You are a bad bad man Spark. Trying to get me in trouble with Mrs. CheChe.

[Lsufan]

You are a bad bad man Spark. Trying to get me in trouble with Mrs. CheChe.

Pappy is a bad, bad man .... He only wants you to go out so he can make a move on Mrs. Che Che

[Spark]

Pappy is a bad, bad man .... He only wants you to go out so he can make a move on Mrs. Che Che

Damn it Jimmy ... giving away all my secrets .... I dream about that woman ...