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  • Dear Senator Sarbanes,

    July 7, 2006



    The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
    309 Hart Senate Office Building
    Washington DC, 20510

    Dear Senator Sarbanes,

    As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
    Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
    Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
    becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
    illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
    and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions
    is
    accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
    years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
    income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I
    see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone
    figures it out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
    every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
    taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
    apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
    for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
    room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
    premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost
    $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that
    my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law
    school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
    throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
    of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
    premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college
    age children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
    illegal(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms,I
    would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,

    Pete McGlaughlin
    It's always noon somewhere!

    My Fish and Aquariums

    Griffey's Posted Record
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