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HEY BOYS BOB COME OVER LATE LAST NIGHT AND WANTED TO GO TROLLING FOR LOVELY LARGE LADIES OF THE NIGHT. I TOLD BOB I DIDNT FEAL LIKE GETTING BODY SLAMMED TONIGHT. BOB SAYS JUST KEEP YOUR BIG YAP SHUT AND JUST SHAKE THE FEED BUCKET. I FINALLY AGREED TO GO WHEN HE AGREED TO BUY ALL THE BOOZE. WELL THERES A BAR THAT EXTREMELY LARGE WOMEN HANG OUT AND BOB IS PRETTY WELL KNOWN THERE. SO WE WHEEL IN BOB SAYS NO WISE ASS COMMENTS I AM REALLY WANTING A LARGE HOG TONIGHT I WANT TO BREAK MY RECORD OF 387LBS. I AGREE TO BE QUITE WE TROLL ON IN AND BOB GOES TO WORK FIGHTING THREW THE CROWD OF LOVELY LARGE LADIES. WELL I FIND A SEAT AND GET A BRUSKY WHEN THIS BIG MAMMA COMES UP TO ME AND SAYS I LOST 5LBS I SAYED OH YEAH YOU ON THE CLAY HENRY DIET. SHE SAYS SMART ASS WALKS OFF BELIEVE ME 5LBS WAS NOTHING SHE NEEDED TO LOSE 205LBS. WELL OLD BOB GETS HOOKED UP INSTANTLY AND SAYS CAN YOU FIN D YOUR OWN WAY HOME. I SAID FUCK KNOW I AINT FINDING A RIDE HOME IN HERE. BOBSAYS YA ALWAYS GOT TO FUCK UP MY PLANS. I SAID ME IF YOU WASNT SUCH A SICK FUCK AND HAVE TO DO A FAT GIRL EVERY WEEKEND WE WOULD GET ALONG MUCH BETT ER. WELL HE TAKES OFFS AND SAYS I WILL BE BACK IN HOUR TO GET YOU. WELL I SIT THERE ALL PISSED OFF WHEN ANOTHER LOVELY LARGE HOG COMES UP I THINK WHAT THE FUCK DO I LOOK LIKE A FEED TROUGH. SHE SAYS YA WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN I SAID BABY IF YOUR LOOKING FOR SEX YOUR SHIT OUT OF LUCK HERBIE HERE HAS A WEIGHT LIMIT AND YOUR WAY TO FUCKING BIG FOR HIM. SHE SAYS YOUR A HORSESASS. I SAID OH WELL AT LEAST I DIDNT EAT THE WHOLE FUCKING HORSE. I TURN AROUND TO LEAVE AND THERE IS THE BIGGEST FREAKING LADY BOUNCER I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. I SAID OH MY GOD WHERE DID YOU COME FROM AND SHE SAYS YOUR A DEAD DUCK AND POUNCES ON ME. SHE LITERALLY KNOCKED THE HELL OUT OF ME AND OUT THE DOOR I FLY. BOB STROOLS BACK IN LOOKING LIKE HE JUST FUCKED THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND. BOB SAYS YOU NEED TO LEARN TO KEEP YOUR YAP SHUT. I REPLY YOU NEED TO TEACH YOUR GOOD FRIEND DOWN STAIRS SOME DIGNITY. AND BY THE WAY HIS GIRL TOPPED THE SCALE AT 395LBS