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It's worth a laugh

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  • It's worth a laugh

    Two Hillbillies from West Virgina walk into the local bar to wash the dust from their throats and grab a beer. They stand at the bar, drinking a beer and talking about current cattle prices. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swaller?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her panties, and runs his tongue all over her butt cheeks in a circular motion. The woman is so shocked, that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again,the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar and takes a drink from his beer. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there "Hind Lick" maneuver,but I ain't never seen nobody do it."

  • #2
    Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again

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    • #3

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      • #4
        Bobby Knight Goes to Heaven

        Bobby Knight, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded IU flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Bobby," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
        Bobby felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story mansion with a black and gold sidewalk, 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Purdue flag and, in every window, a Boilermaker logo.

        Bobby looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach, I won 3 NCAA titles, 600+ games and I even went to the hall of fame. So why does Gene Keady get a better house than me?"

        God chuckled, and said "Bobby, that's not Gene Keady's house, it's mine!"

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        • #5

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          • #6
            Great jokes! They made my day.

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            • #7
              Since Knowlez thinks I belong in a nursing home, I'll tell a nursing home joke....

              It is Ralph's first day in the nursing home and Merna, an elderly resident there, takes a shine to old Ralphie. Ralph tells her he is too old for that kind of stuff, but she stays after him and they end up in Merna's room

              Ralph is sitting on Merna's bed as she starts taking off her clothes. She is almost naked when she turns to him and says,"Ralph, you should know that I have acute angina."

              He looks at her and answers, "Well, I sure hope so, 'cause the rest of you isn't looking all that great!"

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              • #8
                What has 8 arms and 8 legs???


                :confused:


                8 pirates!!!!

                ARGH!!!!! GFY!!!!!
                The Rice Truck is NEVER Wrong!!!

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