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SMART ASS ANSWER #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. Instead of handing
over his ticket, he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing
a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
SMART ASS ANSWER #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMART ASS ANSWER #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads,
"Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him
and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally,
a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
AND NOW...FOR THE...#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked:
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the
student,
shakes her head and sweetly says
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. Instead of handing
over his ticket, he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing
a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
SMART ASS ANSWER #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMART ASS ANSWER #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads,
"Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him
and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally,
a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
AND NOW...FOR THE...#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked:
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the
student,
shakes her head and sweetly says
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.
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