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You may be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than you and your wife
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"Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant'
is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'" -
A young teenage girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl.
The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighbourhood, but little old Grandma.
The young girl was frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line.
A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"Comment
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Yo Maddux!!!!! Yard For My Man Maddux!!! 8-2 Cubbies!!!!!!!!Comment
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Even Maddux goes yard!
WOW!Comment
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Two rednecks are playing golf behind two flamingly effeminate golfers who are just flitting about after every shot, every putt, everything.
The rednecks are getting so mad watching the unmacho behavior of the two at the "gentleman's game," so they decide they're going to hit into them to get off.
The rednecks' shots are getting dangerously close to the two gays, and finally, a shot from one of the rednecks hits one of the gays on the head and it knocks him out cold.
The other gay is in an angry panic, shaking his friend to get up, "Felipe! Felipe! Get up! Get up!"
He shouts at the rednecks, "You bad men! We are going to sue you!"
One of the rednecks yelled back, "You ain't gonna sue us! I'd just as soon suck your winney!"
The gay heard that and started shaking his friend,"Felipe! Felipe! Get up! Hurry! They want to settle out of court!"Comment
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Things You'll Never Hear A Redneck Say....
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Do you think my hair is too big?
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
The tires on that truck are too big.
I've got it all on a floppy disk.
Do you think this ball cap goes with this shirt?
Damned if that polititian ain't honest!
We're vegetarians. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
You can't feed that to the dog.
Trim the fat off that steak.
I just love the Opera
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
Wrasslin's fake.Comment
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hahaha I have to ride out the storm pal ... hahahaOriginally posted by wayne1218Comment
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Originally posted by SPARK
aww Spark, we love you! BTW, Bry started it all!Comment
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9-2 Cubbies!!!
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Non
Athletic
Sport
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Around
Rednecks"Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant'
is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'"Comment
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Originally posted by RJeremy
yep you did2013 NCAA POD Record
8-3ATS +3.80 units
2013 NFL POD Record
1-2 ATS -4.50 unitsComment
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yeah, Bry started itOriginally posted by SPARK
"Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant'
is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'"Comment
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Sparks so old his twin brother is dirt2013 NCAA POD Record
8-3ATS +3.80 units
2013 NFL POD Record
1-2 ATS -4.50 unitsComment
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On a different note...Lsufan how do you feel about your new coach Lester Miles???Comment
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Burnitz yard again!!! 2 run jack!!! 11-2 Cubbies!!
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