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So this guy who's having a difficult time taking off his shirt ... Phelps ... this is our newest American Hero ?
His pics are plastered all over the newspapers every day.
No doubt he'll be modeling Speedo Swimwear's latest line.
And going on the TV circuit ... Oprah ... Leno ... Letterman ... Tyra ... and whoever else is engaged in small talk for a living.
... and Energy Drinks and Power Bars.
Then of course ... The Hall of Fame ... his mug in the front of a Wheaties Box
Wheaties ... lol ... dried up crap in cardboard.
" Swimming " is not a sport ... it's what you do so you shouldn't drop dead from suffocation when water tries to cover your head.
So the "hero" will now cash in big ... all because of being blessed with buoyancy.
You know who the Real hero is ? He's the life guard at the beach nearest your home ... out in the blazing sun ... zinc oxide smeared all over his nose and mouth ... making sure no one loses his or her life.
... and he's being paid $ 12.00 an hour.
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NFL Sunday 9/14/08
Before I start … Bet The Dodgers to win The World Series … take the great odds now before they go down.
NFL Notes:
So a couple of top flight quarterbacks were coddled in the pre-season by their coaches, and look at what happened … neither Brady nor Manning were particularly sharp last week … one guy got banged up real bad … maybe permanently … the other was slow, looked old and weird, and also got rolled. I don’t understand the “rationale” in resting football players … especially in the pre-season .
In fact it’s a freaking joke.
Well, this “ strategy “ sure did backfire on those 2 teams last Sunday.
I mean … it’s like taking a 4 hour nap … one hour after you wake up from an 8 hour sleep , then get thrown into battle.
Are you going to be sharp ? Of course not !!! Odds are you’ll be groggy and get the shit kicked out of you.
Unfortunately we’ll never really know the reasoning behind this mistake . No one can ask Dungy or Belichick for a real explanation because, after all ….. the one can’t speak no damned English and the other lies through his teeth every opportunity he gets the chance.
Pretty soon ALL of the NFL stars will be wanting to sit out the pre season games and I’ll bet their coddling coaches will let them. I’ll also bet that the number of injuries will increase in regular season games 1 and 2.
And who ultimately gets screwed ?
The fans ( who’ll be paying good money to watch pro football not being played at it’s highest level )
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And please for God’s Sake work out a deal with your fat ass bookies to give you the ½ point on sides and totals in exchange for your NFL action. In all fairness he shouldn’t let you take 3 ½ when the line is 3 but you should take 3 if the line is 2 ½ .
Always take or lay your best whole number.
Really guys there’s no reason why any one of you should ever get hooked in a football ( or basketball ) game.
The Games:
Oakland at Kansas City 1:00 PM
A Regular Play on the Over 36 … the side is just too tough to call . I’d have played on Oakland if Chief QB Brody Croyle were playing. I have my eye on this kid - he just might be a great go – against pigeon in upcoming games.
Take Oakland in your football pools … most of the garden variety guessers will be on KC.
Green Bay at Detroit 1:00 PM
Is it Thanksgiving already ?
This is a tough game for side and total … GB is very overish but Detroit plays under in this situation.
Only a leaner to Detroit + 3 , based on a single system which is 15-2 ATS in Detroit’s favor … (1 or 2 systems don’t mean dick … I need many multiple hits before I send it in on any team or total. )
Tennessee at Cincinnati 1:00 PM
Regular Play on Cincinnati –1 ( down from an opening line of –3 )
Regular Play on The Over 37
Cincy game totals go high after playing The Ravens.
Chicago at Carolina 1:00 PM
Top Play on Chicago ( I see 3 ½’s out there but try to hunt down a +4 ) … Panther history is absolutely dreadful in this spot .
No feel for the total.
Buffalo at Jacksonville 1:00 PM
Total – wise , this game I like a lot … Play the OVER 37 as a Top Play Both teams should shoot ‘em up pretty good in this particular situation.
As for the side I’d have LOVED to see Jacksonville as a double digit fave … then I’d play on The Jags with confidence … but -5 is a real stinkeroo and it tells me that Buff has a shot here , enough to scare me off playing The Jags for a bunch … Gun to my head ? … only a light play on Jacksonville.
I just can’t get a pulse on why this line smells so badly. Buffalo would be favored by 1 – 2 points at home !!! Is this because The Linesmaker knows that Buff has improved or has Jack regressed ? Maybe neither. … he just might be scamming the public who usually think that teams’ performances from last week will invariably carry over into next … and that is a fallacy which has proven to be very expensive.
Very few teams will play badly as the bad game they played the week before ( or as good for that matter ) So you really must block that last impression out of your minds.
Be it as it may , I love Jack Del Rio, but I respect The Linesmaker too . Like I said , a snack on The Jags …
but Bang the Over.
New Orleans at Washington 1:00 PM
Top Play on The OVER 42
A Pass on the Side.
( I like Washington to win the Division this year by simple process of elimination … you can’t win with Tony Romo and especially that awful AWFUL playoff nit wit , Wade Phillips . The Giants now have David Carr so we can rule them out just by his very presence gathering splinters on the bench … his ass really belongs on the bench for The Saskatchewan Rough Riders but he’s not good enough to make the team. As for Philly, it’s only a matter of time before McNabb will go into his usual injury act just when the Eagles will need him the most … Kevin Kolb is the smarter and better QB but he’s just not ready yet.)
Indianapolis at Minnesota 1:00 PM
Another Top Play on The Over 43 and a light play to The Colts, giving 1
NY Giants at St. Louis 1:00 PM
As monotonous as this seems … I like The Over here too , enough for another Top Play. Go Over 42
The side systems and team trends are good for both teams , a little more so for The Giants , but only enough to make them a leaner.
San Francisco at Seattle 4:05 PM
Only an inkling to the Under and nothing on the side … SF is 1-12 ATS following a game in which they committed 4+ turnovers, while Seattle is 0-9 ATS after a 20+ point road loss .One might expect The Seahawks to bounce after getting rolled in Buffalo last Sunday , but my old friend , that fat – ass, half of a faggot, mealy mouth, mumbling, stumbling (talks with a plastic card covering his chubby, pink face ) coach seems to be merely playing out the string and it appears that his team doesn’t give 2 craps about anything he says to them.
They sure did quit in Green Bay last January ( that was soooo funny ) and it’s spilling over into this season.
Do not turn this game into a pay per view affair … it’s just not worth it . Holmgren is a mutt. Hasselback is no bargain either.
Atlanta at Tampa Bay 4:05 PM
I like The Under 38 here … making it another Top Play.
As in the Seattle - SF game I’m not so sure the home team will bounce back after a road loss , so pass the side.
Miami at Arizona 4:15 PM
A Regular Play on The Under 39 …the team habits for a side selection are mixed for both teams and cancel out.
New England at NY Jets 4:15 PM
A Regular Play on The Under 37
Now let’s spend some time on the side play:
When this line jumped out Sunday night at Jets –3 points I immediately grabbed them with New England pretty strong , figuring that the tubby lying little weasel Bill Belichick has enough wit to outdo Mangini , even with Matt Cassell at QB. The Pats have the wherewithall to beat The Jets with point shaver SAM Cassell at QB. Moreover , there’s little chance Brett Favre will be able to get away with that shenanigence he pulled in Miami when closed his eyes and threw up one prayer after another like he did ( and miraculously got away with it ) … and if he tries that ridiculous Pop Warner shit against The Pats it will be a long , embarrassing, and painful afternoon .
Anyway, as I was doing the work for this week on Monday and Tuesday, I noticed that Jet line was moving down while seeing a few system advantages for The Jets. Then I uncovered a 26-0 ATS league system favoring The Jets as well.
So I came back and laid –1 with NY to balance out NE at +3 … if and when the line moves down to pick – em, or if I really luck out and The Jets become a dog , I’ll bang The Jets some more .
So there will be more on The Jets than on NE mainly due to the 26-0 system, with the “ Crown Jewel “ being the opportunity to side or even middle the whole game and wind up with a pile of meaningful dough.
Baltimore at Houston ... Game moved to Monday
This game features my Side Play for The month of September … in fact it’s very close to being a Total Dominator Play .
Take Houston , giving 4 at home , to defeat Baltimore in what I’m believing will be an easy game.
I love the Total in this game too … Play the Under as a Top Totals Play
San Diego at Denver 4:15 PM
Top Totals Play on The Over 45
Leaner to San Diego –1 … ( almost made them a Regular Play )
I wasn’t crazy about Philip Rivers at first, but he will be an excellent QB. He showed great attitude in a post loss interview last Sunday , demonstrating confidence in his teammates and most importantly, himself. Rivers is a winner and will take The Bolts to places that Marty Shott can only dream of. We had The Chargers to win outright in last season’s playoff game at Indy and they came through, albeit with an outrageous performance by their back up QB Billy Volek after Rivers just couldn’t go any more.
S.D. and Jacksonville each have a great shot at going to this year’s Superbowl.
Pittsburgh at Cleveland 8:15 PM
Every team that was home in week 1 is now on the road in week 2 … except for The Browns, who have another Prime Time Crack at proving that last year’s success was nothing more than a fluke. However, if they are a prideful team they should keep it close vs. Pittsburgh , and quite possibly winning the whole game straight up. If they are not … we’ll know soon enough.
A Regular Play on Cleveland , getting 6 at home , over Pittsburgh. ( try like hell for a +7 and you’ll probably get it
… all my golfing buddies love Pittsburgh and that spells doom for The Steelers ) ,
Nothing on the Over / Under .
Monday , Sept. 15
Philadelphia at Dallas 8:30 PM
A Regular Play on Philadelphia only if they are +7 or more. Do not play them at + 6 ½ or less. ( I have my reasons and they are very good reasons at that )
Also make a Regular Play on The Over 47
Best of Luck,
Neil
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