Big day for me today. It was one year ago today that I woke up and smoked a bowl of weed in the same pipe I smoked crack in the night before. The morning was Wednesday, March 28th, 2007. I finished up the bowl and was driven to detox where I dried up for about 5 days. I got out and came back on bettorschat and started this thread to let everyone know I was going for treatment and would be back in about 3 weeks.
http://www.bettorschat.com/forums/sh...d.php?t=122314
Ever since that dark and rainy morning I have not altered my state of mind with one single chemical substance. Even though I may still have anger issues or be crazy at times nobody is perfect NOBODY but I am glad to be alive today. I may have just lost all the money in my sportsbook account last night with Wazzou being unable to fucking score cause they suck bigger balls then a moose's nuts and Joe Alexander missed a free throw to fuck my WVU moneyline bet I really dont care about that. My life has never been better and after being stoned and drunk for the past 7 or 8 years straight and consistently masking the way I feel and living in a numbness of hiding my thoughts, feelings, and emotions it is truly a miracle that I have went an entire year with no substances. I am able to feel today. I am able to have thoughts today. I am able to utilize my emotions adn breathe and look at the sky and sun and mother nature and appreciate the little things that the beauty of natural living provides us today. I must say it was a VERY tough struggle for about the first 6 months or so trying to find comfort in my new way of living. If anyone else has tried or is trying to quit drinking or using drugs I encourage you to keep trying and never give up just dont EVER give up cause the moment you do could be your last. Alcohol and drugs are one of the worst things wrong with our society as a whole IMO. They are up there with the most negative things that affect families, relationships, children, and human life as a whole. Everything in life is a learning experience and I learn something new everyday. It sickens me when I hear about broken homes due to alcohol and drugs. Daughters and Sons having terrible childhoods due to their parents alcohol and drug use. Violent and abusive relationships due to alcohol and drugs. People dying at such a young age and wasted life that could have been so much more but was taken away due to alcohol and drugs. The list goes on and on and NOTHING is EVER positive. I dont take this fucking bullshit lightly when I hear at NA meetings about a guy or girl that used to come to those rooms all the time that just overdosed on the weekend and having people crying and balling their eyes out all over the fucking place cause they were great friends with him or her but they just gave up and this disease took their live(s). I could go on and on about this fucking disease of addiction but it would take forever. I also want to thank all you funny fuckers on this site that has made things very enjoyable for me. I have been living with my father for this past year and he is telling me its about time to move out again. The next year of my life is going to be another challenging journey filled with a lot of question marks about my life but I am looking forward to it. If my story that some of you may have read in that other thread (POST #160):
http://www.bettorschat.com/forums/sh...141936&page=11
or even this one too has even helped out one person or gave one single individual some inspiration to change their life for the better I am happy for that alone. Anyway, enough of my rambling on. Just wanted to say thanks and prosper in the moment of today because at the rate I was heading before it was not a possibility that I could have overdosed and been dead on this very day. Thanks again and take care fellas!
http://www.bettorschat.com/forums/sh...d.php?t=122314
Ever since that dark and rainy morning I have not altered my state of mind with one single chemical substance. Even though I may still have anger issues or be crazy at times nobody is perfect NOBODY but I am glad to be alive today. I may have just lost all the money in my sportsbook account last night with Wazzou being unable to fucking score cause they suck bigger balls then a moose's nuts and Joe Alexander missed a free throw to fuck my WVU moneyline bet I really dont care about that. My life has never been better and after being stoned and drunk for the past 7 or 8 years straight and consistently masking the way I feel and living in a numbness of hiding my thoughts, feelings, and emotions it is truly a miracle that I have went an entire year with no substances. I am able to feel today. I am able to have thoughts today. I am able to utilize my emotions adn breathe and look at the sky and sun and mother nature and appreciate the little things that the beauty of natural living provides us today. I must say it was a VERY tough struggle for about the first 6 months or so trying to find comfort in my new way of living. If anyone else has tried or is trying to quit drinking or using drugs I encourage you to keep trying and never give up just dont EVER give up cause the moment you do could be your last. Alcohol and drugs are one of the worst things wrong with our society as a whole IMO. They are up there with the most negative things that affect families, relationships, children, and human life as a whole. Everything in life is a learning experience and I learn something new everyday. It sickens me when I hear about broken homes due to alcohol and drugs. Daughters and Sons having terrible childhoods due to their parents alcohol and drug use. Violent and abusive relationships due to alcohol and drugs. People dying at such a young age and wasted life that could have been so much more but was taken away due to alcohol and drugs. The list goes on and on and NOTHING is EVER positive. I dont take this fucking bullshit lightly when I hear at NA meetings about a guy or girl that used to come to those rooms all the time that just overdosed on the weekend and having people crying and balling their eyes out all over the fucking place cause they were great friends with him or her but they just gave up and this disease took their live(s). I could go on and on about this fucking disease of addiction but it would take forever. I also want to thank all you funny fuckers on this site that has made things very enjoyable for me. I have been living with my father for this past year and he is telling me its about time to move out again. The next year of my life is going to be another challenging journey filled with a lot of question marks about my life but I am looking forward to it. If my story that some of you may have read in that other thread (POST #160):
http://www.bettorschat.com/forums/sh...141936&page=11
or even this one too has even helped out one person or gave one single individual some inspiration to change their life for the better I am happy for that alone. Anyway, enough of my rambling on. Just wanted to say thanks and prosper in the moment of today because at the rate I was heading before it was not a possibility that I could have overdosed and been dead on this very day. Thanks again and take care fellas!
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