Tweet
Kaptains "Jokes" for the day
No assholes....not my friggin picks....actual jokes 
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Farmer and the Cow
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milkin'' him again he knocked down the bucket with his with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Bubba Died in a Fire
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NBA
512 New Orleans -3515 Atlanta +6
517 Memphis + 7 1/2
520 Golden St +3
CBB
524 Fla Atlntic -4........................................POD
532 Richmond +1.........................................POD
543 Detroit + 9 1/2
545 Mquette -8
556 Clev St - 5 1/2
576 Tulane +13
579 Butler -4
587 Ill St - 7 1/2.........................................POD
595 Wisconsin -2
613 Cal Santa Barb +2
613/614 CSB/PAC OVER 135 1/2.....................POD
623/624 Morehead St/E Kty OVER 123 1/2
gl to all----lock and load---
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Farmer and the Cow
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milkin'' him again he knocked down the bucket with his with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Bubba Died in a Fire
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NBA
512 New Orleans -3515 Atlanta +6
517 Memphis + 7 1/2
520 Golden St +3
CBB
524 Fla Atlntic -4........................................POD
532 Richmond +1.........................................POD
543 Detroit + 9 1/2
545 Mquette -8
556 Clev St - 5 1/2
576 Tulane +13
579 Butler -4
587 Ill St - 7 1/2.........................................POD
595 Wisconsin -2
613 Cal Santa Barb +2
613/614 CSB/PAC OVER 135 1/2.....................POD
623/624 Morehead St/E Kty OVER 123 1/2
gl to all----lock and load---
Comment