From Chado....for the better....

[diesel]

Best of luck and get well. Unfortunately you might want to throw gambling into that mix. That is another form of addiction for many and can be used as a replacement to drugs or alochol.

[Lsufan]

Wishing you all the best Chad. You'll do just fine. Looking forward to your return to the BC Family!!!

[tech fan]

Thanks a lot tech fan.....I know that I can not go back to alcohol either because everytime I started to get a buzz off the booze the first thing on my mind would be "ok how can I get some shit now to increase this buzz" and you are 100% correct. One of the hardest things for me is to get rid of my "so called" friends that I used with. I really only have one buddy (the one that I was referring to) that has always been the guy that came out and drank with us but never did any of the shit with us. He is a guy who I talk to on pretty much a daily basis and he is a "true friend" who helped me realize the magnitude of my problem as time had went on. I am only 21 years old and am at a tough age with alcohol being such a social thing to do but I know I cannot drink either as it will release my addiction all over again. And as for starting this thread...you are right....it was extremely difficult to do....I was thinking "what do they care about my personal life" and stubborness of me also needs to be overcome an admitting I had a problem was even tougher but I knew that you guys would be fully supporting.....thanks again guys!!!

Thanks man i was worried about typing that worried you would take it the wrong way.Glad you didn't.Its hard to realize at the time but your true friends are not the ones you use with.Would a true friend give someone 50 bucks and say hey run get this for me knowing if they got stopped they would go to jail?No a true friend is one that tries to help you and can see what it is doing to you.If i can help you at all please let me know been through it.The thing that helped me was my kids and when icould realize that if i ever got caught with this i would be away from them for a yr it made it very easy for me to stop.Did it cold turkey.

[Chado1]

Best of luck and get well. Unfortunately you might want to throw gambling into that mix. That is another form of addiction for many and can be used as a replacement to drugs or alochol.

Gambling is just small time for me.....I bet smaller amounts than most of you guys think....I use it as entertainment as I have learned so much from experiences and it does not affect me in a negative way....I just make it seem like I am betting large amounts but I am not worried about that at all....thanks for the conern though my friend....

[Spearit]

Chad - you have been stellar on your plays and personality on the site. I have one thing for you to think about. As much as I would love yor picks- I would really like for you to give up all addictions- gambling included- to really dry out.
If you are thinking about the games and the plays and so on- little will be accomplished in the short time you have!!
Know what I mean Verne?
Good I see that I am the second to offer you this advice!

[Chado1]

Thanks man i was worried about typing that worried you would take it the wrong way.Glad you didn't.Its hard to realize at the time but your true friends are not the ones you use with.Would a true friend give someone 50 bucks and say hey run get this for me knowing if they got stopped they would go to jail?No a true friend is one that tries to help you and can see what it is doing to you.If i can help you at all please let me know been through it.The thing that helped me was my kids and when icould realize that if i ever got caught with this i would be away from them for a yr it made it very easy for me to stop.Did it cold turkey.

Thanks for being so honest with me buddy....you are a true man...I would love to talk to you about it and I will get your e-mail and/or # when I return......you honestly dont know how much it means for you to share your honesty like that....true gentleman of a person tech thank you so much!!!

[Spearit]

Chad- the idea would be to totally allow yourself the fullness of the treatment- not how this is just entertainment and small dollars being wagered. With that I am out for awhile myself.

[Chado1]

Chad - you have been stellar on your plays and personality on the site. I have one thing for you to think about. As much as I would love yor picks- I would really like for you to give up all addictions- gambling included- to really dry out.
If you are thinking about the games and the plays and so on- little will be accomplished in the short time you have!!
Know what I mean Verne?
Good I see that I am the second to offer you this advice!

You are right Spear....as hard as it will be to swallow I might have to quit the gambling aswell....I will just post plays and keep records for others to play cuz I know what you mean it can be another form of addiction and could stress me out and lead to "the other thing".....will be tough but you definately may be right.....

[Fast Eddie]

Hey CHAD...

OK guys....this is one of the hardest things I have had to do but I feel I should let everyone in my "BC family" know what is going on with myself personally as honesty is one of the keys to a happy life. For the past couple years, I have been struggling with a cocaine addiction and I am leaving for treatment tomorrow morning and will be returning on approx April 27th. During my stay at this place I will have access to a phone for a short period of time on a daily basis and will be giving my account password to a very good friend of mind to post my playoff winners for you guys. Instead of blowing all my gambling profits on cocaine I will now have something to show for it. This is a huge step forward in my life and I am glad that I recognized I had a problem at such a young age before it was too late. Luckily my job is going to be there when I come back as my EAP (employee assistance program) is fully supporting. I just want to thank everyone for allowing me to be a part of this great forum as their is none better and I will be excited to be back here in 3 weeks......bye for now everybody!!!

Chad Hamilton

That is the best BET i have seen you make. I OD 2 'twice from blow. IT got my life and controlled it before I had a chance. I would hide it from the people that i had done it with in the past, i kept it all to myself...hide it from my wife of 10 + years...

Coke was and is the only drug that ever got a hold of me and controlled my life...only will - power can overcome the addiction...it will not be easy...but i KNOW you can do it...you already made a public statement and have acknowledged your problem and admitted it to yourself that you needed HELP...that is the hardest of recovery...

i will be thinking and praying for you over the next 4 weeks...

Temptation - when it comes..think of Fast Eddie and run fast...don't ever go back...that powder ain't good for nothing in your life...you just keep on chasing that train...bump after bump and you never catch the train...but...the train will run over your ass and kill you...


..with GOD all things are possible...


Eddie

[ELJUGO]

Chado I'm young like you (22) and have quite a few good aquaintances who use blow all the time...It isn't right and they know it but cant stop themselves...you are taking the best step and I know it will help you move forward and become a better man. I always worry about my addiction to gambling and ultimately will either learn to get my betting amounts under control or I will have to seek some help and give it up. I wish you all the best and think talking about it on the forum is a good thing because the more you can talk about it the more it can become something that you only need to talk about, not do. Relax in there and then move on to bigger and better things in life drug free. GL BRO

[Chado1]

That is the best BET i have seen you make. I OD 2 'twice from blow. IT got my life and controlled it before I had a chance. I would hide it from the people that i had done it with in the past, i kept it all to myself...hide it from my wife of 10 + years...

Coke was and is the only drug that ever got a hold of me and controlled my life...only will - power can overcome the addiction...it will not be easy...but i KNOW you can do it...you already made a public statement and have acknowledged your problem and admitted it to yourself that you needed HELP...that is the hardest of recovery...

i will be thinking and praying for you over the next 4 weeks...

Temptation - when it comes..think of Fast Eddie and run fast...don't ever go back...that powder ain't good for nothing in your life...you just keep on chasing that train...bump after bump and you never catch the train...but...the train will run over your ass and kill you...


..with GOD all things are possible...


Eddie

So true fast eddie and thanks for sharing....I had been hiding it from my family for the past 3 years....you are always on the chase on always thinking how you can get more....it never fuckin ends.....it is BS.....and it always ends up in the same situation when you run out and think what now and feel 10 times worse then you ever would sober....so not worth it and I have to think ahead to the aftermath whenever I think of using....for me, just thinking of when you run out and pulling my hair out is what will motivate me to not take the first hit....thanks for sharing your story...means a lot buddy!!!

[Chado1]

Chado I'm young like you (22) and have quite a few good aquaintances who use blow all the time...It isn't right and they know it but cant stop themselves...you are taking the best step and I know it will help you move forward and become a better man. I always worry about my addiction to gambling and ultimately will either learn to get my betting amounts under control or I will have to seek some help and give it up. I wish you all the best and think talking about it on the forum is a good thing because the more you can talk about it the more it can become something that you only need to talk about, not do. Relax in there and then move on to bigger and better things in life drug free. GL BRO

Thanks man...I apreciate it.....I am about the same age as you aswell and you can also realize being at this vulnerable (drugs/alcohol) socially acceptable age and it is tough....I am glad I could be out-front with you guys on this GREAT forum as it will help me out in the long run talking about and learning from it....thanks and DONT get into it even if you may have been dabbling with it every now and then because it is only a matter of time before it will start entering your mind on a daily basis.....thanks....

[wayne1218]

Chad, One more thing. I've been around the stuff quite a bit in my lifetime. I was engaged to a girl before the fiance i'm with now. Cocaine stole our wedding plans. I was with a girl and engaged about 10 years ago and i found out that she liked Coke. She did it once in awhile and she knew i didn't like it but it was not often and i thought that maybe she would just "Stop doing it". She didn't and it got worse. She managed a club and it was around everywhere. She started coming home every night and doing it. She would pull the mirror off the living room wall, use it to cut it up, and continue to do it sometimes without sleep for 2 or 3 days at a time. I would wake up for work in the morning and she would be sitting on the couch watching a movie (no sleep). I tried everything to help her and the more promises she made to get help or quit, the more she started lying to hide it from me and her family. I gave her the money to put down on a wedding dress and she spent it on coke and told me the dress was reserved. She stole from her mother one day when we were there and nobody ever saw her do it. I also started noticing alot of cash in her pockets after work too. I mean $100 bills sometimes falling out of her pocket. I still don't know how she was getting that money and i'm not sure i want to. The bottom line is that the addiction was much stronger than she was and our relationship ended. In the next 2 years after we broke up she was in the hospital 4 times for "Self mutilation". She used a razor blade on her arms to make her forget about the pains from her addiction that she couldn't control. It wasn't easy and i still think and wonder about her all the time. I never have touched it, not even once. I've had a million chances with it right in front of me and free for the taking but i've always known that i have a very addictive personality. If i ever tried it once, i knew it would be the begining of the end for me. You wouldn't believe it if you saw the girl. She is the sweetest and kindest girl you will ever meet and she was beautiful too. It didn't fit the profile and nobody had a clue.

I also had a cousin of mine about 15 years ago die from it. He had done it before but the last time he had done more than he was used to and he had a heart attack and passed away. It is not only one of the most addictive drugs you will ever see, it is also one that will never ever lead your life in the right direction. The hiding, lying and stealing are nothing. Those are just the begining stages of what's to come. If the people you hang with are doing it, you need to get away. If they do not understand, they are simply put, not friends. Doing the next line is easy, quitting will be a battle for life and one i truly hope you are ready to fight.

Good Luck again.

[swghost]

Dude, that was a pretty brave post. Yeah, enviroment and freinds plays a HUGE role in your actions. My best friend from 5 years old and I were just discussing that the other day about how we did pretty well by leaving our enviroment were we grew up. Everyone else who stayed is in the same ole mundane routine. An easy read would be "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach. Talks about this very well. We are rootin, for ya, so play full on, ok?

[tech fan]

Chad, One more thing. I've been around the stuff quite a bit in my lifetime. I was engaged to a girl before the fiance i'm with now. Cocaine stole our wedding plans. I was with a girl and engaged about 10 years ago and i found out that she liked Coke. She did it once in awhile and she knew i didn't like it but it was not often and i thought that maybe she would just "Stop doing it". She didn't and it got worse. She managed a club and it was around everywhere. She started coming home every night and doing it. She would pull the mirror off the living room wall, use it to cut it up, and continue to do it sometimes without sleep for 2 or 3 days at a time. I would wake up for work in the morning and she would be sitting on the couch watching a movie (no sleep). I tried everything to help her and the more promises she made to get help or quit, the more she started lying to hide it from me and her family. I gave her the money to put down on a wedding dress and she spent it on coke and told me the dress was reserved. She stole from her mother one day when we were there and nobody ever saw her do it. I also started noticing alot of cash in her pockets after work too. I mean $100 bills sometimes falling out of her pocket. I still don't know how she was getting that money and i'm not sure i want to. The bottom line is that the addiction was much stronger than she was and our relationship ended. In the next 2 years after we broke up she was in the hospital 4 times for "Self mutilation". She used a razor blade on her arms to make her forget about the pains from her addiction that she couldn't control. It wasn't easy and i still think and wonder about her all the time. I never have touched it, not even once. I've had a million chances with it right in front of me and free for the taking but i've always known that i have a very addictive personality. If i ever tried it once, i knew it would be the begining of the end for me. You wouldn't believe it if you saw the girl. She is the sweetest and kindest girl you will ever meet and she was beautiful too. It didn't fit the profile and nobody had a clue.

I also had a cousin of mine about 15 years ago die from it. He had done it before but the last time he had done more than he was used to and he had a heart attack and passed away. It is not only one of the most addictive drugs you will ever see, it is also one that will never ever lead your life in the right direction. The hiding, lying and stealing are nothing. Those are just the begining stages of what's to come. If the people you hang with are doing it, you need to get away. If they do not understand, they are simply put, not friends. Doing the next line is easy, quitting will be a battle for life and one i truly hope you are ready to fight.

Good Luck again.

Well put boss man