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Trump Undecided About What Stupid Shit to Say Next
Longest Period of Speechlessness on Record, Experts Say
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - With the public’s attention focused on the death of Osama bin Laden, billionaire Donald Trump huddled with advisors for the second straight day to try to decide what stupid shit to say next.
“The bin Laden thing has definitely stolen the headlines from Donald,” said close associate and advisor Tracy Klugian. “The only way he can grab them back is by doing what he does best: saying something really fucked up.”
Trump’s two-day hiatus from spewing messed up shit is the longest on record, experts say, adding to the pressure on the billionaire to break his silence with something truly craptastic.
To that end, he has closeted himself with a circle of advisors including the Rev. Pat Robertson, former NBA star Charles Barkley, and the former voice of the Aflac duck, Gilbert Gottfried.
Mr. Trump has drawn up a short list of verbal turds that have potential, including attacking President Obama for overdue library books during his grade school years, but so far he has failed to come up with a comment that is both objectionable and ill informed enough to meet his high standards.
“People don’t know how much work goes into saying the stupid shit Donald says,” Mr. Klugian said. “He just makes it look easy.”
Elsewhere, in another setback for al-Qaeda, the terror network confirmed today that Osama bin Laden was the only person who knew the organization’s iTunes password.
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Originally posted by vols fan View PostFor the record my answer was NO but my 7 year old just asked me if Bin Laden was a democrat. Boy I had to bite my lip on that one
Now I lay me down to sleep, one less terrorist this world does keep. With all my heart, I give my thanks, to those in uniform regardless of ranks. You serve our country and serve it well, with humble hearts your stories tell. So as I rest my weary eyes, while freedom rings our flag still flies. You give your all, do what you must...with God we live and in God we trust. Amen..
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"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr
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Originally posted by BigWeiner View Post"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr
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Originally posted by BigWeiner View PostI'm glad he's gone also, but I do find some truth in what Dr. King said.
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Originally posted by vols fan View PostAlot of truth in what Dr King said but bin laden is different. It's like a child molester. I will celebrate everytime they kill one of them bastards. They don't act like humans so I'm not going to respect there deaths like any other human either.
Exactly.NBA is a joke
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Originally posted by BigWeiner View Post"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr
“I’m not big on rejoicing because we killed the enemy. Jesus wouldn’t do that. …It’s big for our country. It’s someone they were looking for a long time. But I’m not into rejoicing over a killed enemy.” - Kevin Durant
There's a 22 y/o superstar who has a perspective that's more mature than most of us, including myself.
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Originally posted by BettorsChat View PostI guess you forgot when under Bush's reign a CIA ops to stand down as they had him in there sight.
You have to take any fucking thread and make it politics.
I guess you forgot Clinton had him several times before that and did nothing, selective memory, no matter, he is dead now. Obama is great, long live Obama.NBA is a joke
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